


Glitter in the air

by SkyeNova



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-13
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-13 00:15:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 69,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2129823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyeNova/pseuds/SkyeNova
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He burned her, marked her, made her his in ways that she never thought possible and maybe, if she didn't chicken out of this at the very beginning, maybe she would still be in flames, deep into his embraces, melting the air around her. Again, that is something no one had to know. Robin/Barney; Starting from "Miracles" then goes AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**_GLITTER IN THE AIR_ **

_PART ONE_

 

 

She never believed in anything.

 

All this talk about true love and miracles; she never understood any of it. Nothing miraculous had ever happened in her life. And true love… well, let’s just not go there.

 

“A miracle took place today!”

 

Marshall had always been the optimistic smurf. To him, feeling blue wasn’t being depressed, nothing made him depressed. _Miracle, my ass_ , she thought, _Ted was just plain lucky_.

 

She was happy, hell, elated even, that Ted didn’t have a scar on him. She had been terrified to receive the phone call from Lily. She couldn’t imagine having any fun days without Ted Mosby, Lily or Marshall. She never had friends like this, friends whom she shared everything; from the most wonderful moments of her life, to her most embarrassing. They are the people with whom she can throw some of her pride away and just be her weird and slightly broken self.

 

She had a weird argument with Marshall about Barney and a pencil in his nose that happened to _not_ be a miracle, when Lily stilled. “Speaking of Barney, I should give him a call.”

 

Barney Stinson. If there is anyone who was as weird and broken as her, it was him. Barney was the awesomeness that gave them great stories for life.

 

“Why? We are not friends anymore.” Ted complained like a teenager and Lily looked at him with her mothering eyes. “You’d want to know if this happened to him.”

 

Ted’s anger towards Barney had not subsided. They were both too proud to be the first one to make the first step forward. Worse than an old married couple, they were.

 

The conversation between Lily and Barney was short; the redhead announced awkwardly that he had hung up and wasn’t coming. Robin was disappointed. Right now would be a great moment for these two to come back to each other and yet, Barney’s pride had stepped in. She just wanted for everything to go back to the way it was before. She wondered, however, if it was even possible. Even if Barney and Ted went to being themselves, Robin wouldn’t be able to look at Barney like the bro he used to be.

 

She couldn’t help but feel responsible for this rift between Ted and Barney. Yes, sex is something that takes two to tango and Barney really did something there; something _really_ good. But she had to admit that she had thrown herself at him. He had been so kind in his own way when she was down and crying at the bar.

 

That moronic Simon, her ex-boyfriend from her teenager years, came back into her life to use her and dumped her all over again. She had held up in front of the others, but when Barney arrived, over an hour later, drinking alone, she just opened the gates. He laughed with affection and came to pass an arm around her shoulder, holding her close for comfort. “You want to be sixteen again? This is the stupidest thing that ever got out of your mouth, Robin Scherbatsky. You were totally lame back then, but now look at you!”

 

Barney had spent 3 full days trying to find her second music video of her time as a teen pop star. She decided to show it to him that night. She had been a bit scared to watch _Sandcastles in the Sand_ with him. He could laugh at her forever over it. It was like giving a _weaponized_ atomic bomb to a dead driven monkey, but he deserved it. He had brought back her pride and esteem up and he looked so hard for it. It couldn’t be much worse than watching the actual video itself.

 

Surprisingly, she had had the most fun in quite some time. He had genuinely enjoyed every second of it. He had made some comment about how lame it was at one point, but his tone had a small affectionate laugh that made her shiver and glow. He wasn’t being mean, but affectionate in his own bizarre way. She suddenly felt glad to be Robin. She wasn’t hiding, he was looking and everything was fine.

 

The horrible caricature of a French kiss came to view for the third time and that vibrating laugh she had discovered that night came out deep from his throat. Her mind had given up on thinking and she had forgotten what she was supposed to watch. She was looking at him.

 

It was only after a couple more viewings that all her resistance crashed. He had laughed out loud again at her robot companion and turned his head towards her, his blue eyes sparkling, his smile wicked and his smell dazzling. She had gotten dizzy as if on a weird drug buzz and kissed him with all she got. She didn’t stop her brain to think about that kiss or if it felt like in those Nora Roberts books, but when his lips had left hers for breath, her eyes fluttered open slightly, her eyelashes touching his, and she saw glitter in the air. She didn’t have time to process the mirage before his lips found hers again and she let the taste of brilliance swallow her whole.

 

What started on the sofa finished in her bed. Little did she know, the first ray of morning had travelled through her curtains. Her eyes fluttered open again and the glitter was still in the air. She batted her eyelids again and again; to try and get rid of the remnants in her eyelashes; and it all disappeared in one gust of wind as she took sight of him. Lying on his back, he was staring awkwardly at the ceiling. The morning-after hit her harder than she had expected. They had _The Talk_ , promising this would never be talked about again and to anyone, most of all Ted. Despite this, 12 hours later, everyone knew, including Ted.

 

Ted kindly forgave her in a heartbeat, but his anger towards Barney didn’t seem to subside. She would have helped them get their friendship back together if she didn’t feel so guilty toward Ted. After all, having sex with your ex-boyfriend’s best friend wasn’t the smartest of moves. Plus, Robin had a small feeling that Ted still harbored some feelings for her, even though he had been dating someone else right now. But strangely, Ted seemed angrier toward Barney than her. No matter how much she said it didn’t mean anything, every time Robin saw or thought about Barney, she could clearly see the glitter in the air. It seemed that he was more addictive that she had anticipated.

 

She did always wonder how sex would be with Barney Stinson. Yes, he was a womanizer, and she always thought that he would never went back to the same woman twice. So, he could bang a girl like a selfish dog, only doing it for his own benefit and no one would know. He could be the worst bang ever. That’s what she told herself every time she felt the temptation. Until she met Darla Stone, that is.

 

Darla was a beautiful blonde woman in her forties, with green eyes, and a gorgeous body. She could bang any man she desired and yet, chose Barney. She was a very bright and important marketing manager for Vogue magazine and found herself too busy to date. That was how her path crossed with Barney Stinson’s. Stone secretly admitted to Robin that Barney and her were simply having sex when their stress levels were getting too high. In the practical sense, Robin realized that they were each other’s booty calls. She couldn’t help it but ask, out of dying curiosity, like her friend Lily would have, the question that everyone in the group had been asking themselves for years. She asked in a more subtle way than Lily would have, of course.

 

“Couldn’t you get a better booty call than Barney Stinson?”

 

She looked at Robin as if she was somehow growing a second head. “You obviously have never been with him, honey.” Robin stated that they were only friends with a laugh a couple of octaves higher than usual.

 

The conversation stopped there and Robin never met Darla ever again. Now that she had a taste of what that woman had, on any night she desired, Robin felt jealousy course through her veins. She would lick her lips again and again in hopes of catching a taste of that night. She shivered to think of his magical hands on her and hated herself.

 

Barney Stinson was a walking, breathing, talking mistake enveloped in a tight and expensive suit. Nothing good came from letting him under your skin. He had a stash of porn bigger than Hugh Hefner and always left her drinking alone to go flirt with some bimbo. He would talk about his conquests like a farmer talked about his cows and he is ruder to people than doctor House. He may know exactly what she secretly desired in bed, but chemistry doesn’t mean anything. Although…

 

With his porn collection, he had a stash of her favorite cigars that he doesn’t mind sharing with her when it’s just the both of them together. When he came back from flirting with a girl (successfully or not) he always brought the kind of scotch that she needed. Not once, would he mention the night they spent together to the others and kept secretly between themselves. He may be rude to her now and then, but the challenge it brought her lit her up like thunder and he just knew it.

 

Barney was the worst man in the world. Yet, sometimes, he felt like the perfect man for her. It was the most frustrating situation that Robin had ever been stuck in. Being attracted to Barney was the last sign of her now lost sanity.

 

**12321**

 

Ted had decided to save his relationship with Stella and was getting ready to leave the hospital when the call came in. Barney had been in an accident right in front of the building. It seemed that after Lily’s call about his friend in the hospital, Barney had hung up, stopped his meeting with the North Koreans, and ran from his office in Manhattan to get to where his friend needed him. Right in front of the building, a public bus crashed into him and now, everyone was waiting in front of the surgery door.

 

Robin thought about pointing out to Marshall that it’s what happened when you preached about miracles all the time, but she felt herself barely able to speak. Maybe she still had a stretch of decency left in her… or she just could bear to see the leftover glitter of the night fall on the floor.

 

Ted grasped her hand. The glitter disappeared again. “I feel so horrible, Robin. I was so angry at him for sleeping with you that even when he said he was sorry, I couldn’t swallow the fact. Now he might die thinking I hate him.”

 

She held his hand too, trying to give comfort that she didn’t have. Maybe that’s why she didn’t say a word in response. Ted just filled the silence himself. “I know you said it didn’t mean anything and that it was just a stupid mistake, but don’t let me being an idiot for ruin what happened that night. As much of a mistake as it was, there might have been a reason for it to happen, right?”

 

 _The goddamn glitter, that’s why_ , she thought. It blinded her after that kiss. It made him glow and shine to her eyes. It’s like when you’re a kid and you play with colors at school. Then, one of your school mates takes a fist full of glitters and throws it into the air. For a second there, you are mesmerized by it. It floats like a magical cloud in space and for the second that it’s in the air, time stops.

 

Her heart had been young again that night. She just wanted to taste the magic on his lips. And how magical Barney had been; forever a moment. The breath before the kiss, the first ray of light before the sun really rises, the first gulp of air when you get out of the water, the first shiver of cold announcing the winter, the second when the leaf detaches from the tree to fly away. Barney was instants, brief but full of impact. But how can she explain it to Ted, or to Lily and Marshall who were intensely waiting for her to say something. It’s not that they could really get it. To them, Barney was a creepy sociopath with no respect for women in general. To her, he became so much more in one kiss.

 

“I – I don’t know.”

 

Lily showed some exasperation but kept her thoughts to herself. Ted just grasped her hand tighter. Marshall opened and closed his mouth for a second before deciding to say it. “Well, maybe Barney knows. When he gets out of there, and he _will_ , just ask him.”

 

She wanted this conversation to stop, so she answered with what he wanted to hear. “Ok.”

 

It was at that moment that the doctor came out to see them. He explained that the injuries were mostly broken bones. Both legs and one arm were severely broken and he would need some rehabilitation. He was, overall, quite lucky considering the circumstances. He had a punctured lung, but the surgery fixed it.

 

Marshall wept at the news, cuddling his wife who was smiling like the world had been lifted of her shoulders. Ted just stood still, absorbing the information. Robin, she was the worst friend ever, because now, she would have to look at Barney in the eye and ask him why he was always surrounded by magical glitter. She couldn’t do this in a smooth way, could she?

 

**12321**

 

Thankfully, she was able to evade that conversation. Everyone forgot what happened in the waiting room when Barney and Ted finally became brothers again and everything when back to normal. A month later, Barney’s bones had healed and the time came for him to start using his arms and legs again. Lily, Marshall and Ted were taking turns helping him for his rehabilitation and Robin skillfully made herself busy enough with work so that she wasn’t even seeing the sunlight. Yes, she was coward, but if her friends noticed, they didn’t mention anything.

 

The actual moment that they all became friends again had been quite happy. She didn’t feel any awkwardness with him, not even glitter in sight. He was back to being her bro Barney and she was so relieved. The mistake was just that: a mistake. And now normal life was back on track. Until two weeks ago. Two weeks ago, glitter was thrown into the air.

 

She decided to pay a visit to Barney at his place after she finished work. Since walking was still difficult for him, he was stuck in his apartment, bored to death. He would call any of his friends, at any hours of the day (or night) to complain and beg for some excitement. It was becoming annoying to everyone, but they all acted as if they were happy to hear from him. Everyone, except Robin. The night before, when he called her at one in the morning, she unceremoniously hung up on him after crudely telling him to let her sleep, threatening to come to his apartment with her 9 mm and shoot him.

 

She did felt horrible about it the next morning, so she texted him her apologies while waiting in the makeup room. By the end of her broadcast, he had still not replied. She felt even worst and took the first taxi she saw out of her workplace to go to Barney’s.

 

It was Ted who opened the door when she arrived. He greeted her nicely, saying he came early because Barney had been moody on the phone when he called that morning to ask how he was doing.

 

“He was saying he was fine, but he sounded like Marshall losing his sugar high. I thought he must be bored out of his mind, so I came here with my Stars Wars DVD collection.”

 

He let her enter and like he had just mentioned, Barney was sitting on his sofa in front of the enormous screen that he called a TV, watching Han Solo get frozen solid. (Well, she believed it was happening anyways.) For someone who was never seen without a suit, he didn’t seem that uncomfortable with his T-shirt and jeans. It made Robin feel like someone had stolen Barney and replaced him with a bad alien replica. He rudely ignored her and yelled at the TV about something very Star Wars like. Ted gasped like a sixteen year old. “Oh! That scene always gets to me!”

 

He rapidly went back to Barney’ side on the sofa and the two of them clutched each other’s arms like school girls watching the Backstreet Boys disbanding. Robin was completely invisible.

 

“Barney should exercise a bit, not do the slouch potato on a sofa watching Gremlins.”

 

If stares could kill, she would be dead. Ted scoffed, offended, like he always did. Barney just stared at her like she had said some monstrosity in a church. “They’re not Gremlins, they’re Ewoks and they’re not even in that scene!”

 

Ted always had to be right, which was a trait she found very annoying, especially when he was right. She rolled her eyes, hoping to surf the wave of her embarrassment to safety. Thankfully, Barney stepped in. “She is right thought. This movie is almost finished, give me 25 minutes and then I’ll exercise.”

 

Ted sighted, admitting defeat. For her part, she gloated. _In your face, Mosby!_ She put her purse on the sofa and decided to serve herself a drink from his collection of scotch while they were finishing the movie. 20 minutes and 3 glasses of scotch later, the movie was finished and she was a bit tipsy.

 

“So, I will go back to work, Barney. I’m sure Robin can help you with your exercise routing. Right, Robin?” She raised her glass in recognition and Ted bid his last farewell (Stay strong, Buddy!) and left. There was a weird silence for a minute or so before Barney stood without using his crutched. Robin rushed to his side faster than a tipsy girl should have. “Wait, what are you doing?”

 

“If you’re going to shoot me with your 9 mm, I would like to go standing if you don’t mind.”

 

He smiled as he said that, but she could see the hurt in his eyes. She awkwardly sat him down again on the sofa, positioning herself at his side, her hands on his forearms. He let her do so without a word.

 

“I’m sorry about last night, you know that. Haven’t you read my text?”

 

His eyes were sharp as he stared at her. “You called that an apology?”

 

“What else could it be?” She was getting annoyed again.

 

“You wrote, and I quote…” He held his cellphone in his hand to read her text.

“Sorry for last night Barney, but you shouldn’t have called in the middle of the night. Next time you’ll know. R.S.” He used a very high-pitched voice to read, making her scoff.

 

“First, I don’t speak like that!” He rolled his eyes. “And how did you expect I would react exactly at 3 in the morning?” She asked, he voice stronger than she anticipated. _Oh God_ , she thought, _they were starting a fight_.

 

“You, not threatening me with your 9 mm!” His tone of voice became stronger too, challenging her. Typical. Barney always hated to lose.

 

“You know I’m grumpy in the morning, why the hell would you call me?!” She was already yelling by then, so she decided to stand, hands on her hips. “You could’ve just called Ted.”

 

“Well, I wanted to hear your voice, not his!” He stood too, but his legs wobbled under him and he fell right back onto the couch. He let out a groan of anger and hit the arm of the sofa really hard with his fists. “Freakin’ legs!”

 

Her hands fell to her side at the sight of Barney, helpless. She took a deep breath and sat near him, caressing his shoulder and arm. She wanted to say she’s sorry, but it didn’t fit her personality. She wanted to comfort him, but then again, not her thing. She was slowly learning with Lily at her side. She didn’t have much faith in doing it herself, though.

 

“Why are we arguing about that? I don’t even have a 9 mm.” She whispered into the silence. His breath caught in his throat and he stared at her in perfect silence. The air was heavy and she didn’t know where to look to; she focused her eyes on her hand that was still stroking him.

 

“I mean, I do have a shotgun. Could kill a bison at 3 km in the tundra, that thing. But not a 9 mm, I don’t own one.” After a few seconds, she gained courage to look at him in the eyes.

 

He was still staring, jaw clenched firmly. She wondered if he was going to explode into a fit of rage and yell at her to get out of his apartment. Then a shadow of a smile drew itself on his lips, his eyes twinkling. Her mouth followed the same pattern. They looked at each other for quite a while, before he started to laugh. She felt her heart released from something she didn’t know was there and everything was o.k. again.

 

“You own me one there, Canada.”

 

Laughter was still in his voice, the blue of his eyes sparkling. She agreed and helped him get up. She had come here just to check on him, but guessed she could help him do his rehabilitation as well now that she was here. Except that his legs weren’t really strong just yet and he fell on her. Her back touched the cushions, her hands gripping the back of his T-shirt, her eyes shut close. She felt his laughter like a vibrato going through her body before she heard it. She looked at him. She had to look, didn’t she?

 

His smile was a simple tempting line and his eyes three shades darker. He didn’t smell like his cologne as usual, but of fresh soap and shower. Her eyes lost focus and she stared at his throat where she could see small stubble that he forgot to shave. She unconsciously licked her lips.

 

His breath caught in the air. “You are so full of temptations, aren’t you, Scherbatsky.”

 

His voice was low, coming from deep within him. It made her shiver. With him, she never knew if he was playing or if he was serious. He was a huge puzzle and she had only half the pieces. When she thought she had him cornered, he would slide out of it on ice, unscathed. Sometimes, he was as weak as a child, and some other times; he was a force of nature. Right at that moment, he was the ocean and she let him swallow her whole when his lips collided with hers. Under her close eyelids, a storm of glitter blinded her.

 

**12321**

 

After that kiss, she had found a very pathetic excuse for leaving and she had not seen him since then. The summer passed slowly and Robin kept her head in the sand until Lily and Marshall finally confronted her, one night at MacLaren’s. “O.K. Robin, I have been patient.”

 

“ _We_ have been patient.” Interjected Marshall, wanting to be included in this conversation. “Yes, _we_ have been patient, but we had enough, what the hell is wrong with you?!”

 

She took her scotch glass and emptied it. “Nothing! I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

Great, her Canadian accent just clicked in. She knew it didn’t help her cause.

 

“You have been working like crazy all summer, Robin, we almost never see you! I demand an explanation.” She opened and closed her mouth like a fish. For a moment there, she was tempted to say it all, to let go of this thing that was eating her alive. Maybe, once she shared it with her friends, she would realize how silly she was being, that it was just a phase. Just a stupid high school girl crush on a boy simply because he was gorgeous, funny, a great kisser and a great lov _\---Damn it!_ She took a deep breath.

 

“Fine! I’ll tell you!” Marshall and Lily sang “oohh” in harmony, advancing themselves on the table, all ears. “But you have to promise that you will not judge me or - or laugh at me. In under no circumstances!”

 

They both “aww”-ed together. Lily used her most maternal voice. “We would never do that Robin. We love you no matter what.” Robin closed her eyes, took a deep breath and: “I kissed Barney again.”

 

“Are you crazy?!?!” Robin looked at her friend like her head had exploded.

 

“Lily!”

 

“Lilypad, we talked about this; no name calling anymore.” Marshall added, caressing his wife arm in a calming manner. “It _is_ utterly crazy of her, but you can’t call her that.”

 

Robin’s eyes rolled into the back of her head and she signaled to Carl, the bartender, for another glass of scotch. “I don’t see why I am crazy. You are the one who told me to figure out that night when Barney and I had sex.”

 

“Yes! Because I thought by doing so you would realize that Barney is a sociopath.” Marshall cleared his throat and looked at her intensely. “I mean a sociopath that we all love and respect. But damn! He is a sociopath, Marshall!”

 

She was going to argue, but the waitress came with her scotch and her argument died on her tongue. There was a moment of awkward silence and Robin continued: “We didn’t even talk about it anyway. I just ended up kissing him by accident.”

 

The married couple both scoffed in unison and she found the need to justify herself. “Really! He was near me, he smelled good, the glitter was everywhere...” She let the rest of her thoughts go. She didn’t know exactly why she was looking for approbation from her friends. She didn’t even know why she was talking about it.

 

“Glitter?” Lily asked, suddenly very interested by this conversation. Robin rolled her eyes. “Sure, you would stick on _that_ part.”

 

The couple looked at each other like they knew something Robin didn’t. She hated when they did that. “Oh Robin, you are definitely _not_ crazy, honey.”

 

Lily was looking at her with all the maternal instinct she could probably possess and Robin became quite uncomfortable. She had no idea why Lily and Marshall were acting like this, but she could smell the danger of this conversation from the North Pole. “Nice of you to say, Lily.”

 

Marshall and Lily shared another look and then turned back to Robin, sparkles in their eyes that scared the shit out of her. She would battle for food against wolves, deep into the forest, to evade whatever was coming. She took hold of her glass and drank.

 

“You’re in love with Barney!”

 

Robin swallowed her scotch badly and almost choked herself to death. She stared at her friends, both looking more and more like Chucky and his fiancée. “Are you crazy!?”

 

Marshall sighted loudly, exasperated. “God, I did say no name calling, guys! Work with me here!”

**12321**

 

Luckily for Robin, this conversation had been cut short by the arrival of Ted and Barney and was never brought up again. The rest of the night was a bit weird for her, stealing glances at Barney. She left early, before really starting to feel like a creep. After that, everything went back to the normalcy of what she knew. Barney never talked about that second kiss and Lily and Marshall never mentioned any “love” thoughts to her.

 

Time passed and Robin took an offer to go work in Japan. Most of her friends had cried like babies. Well, mostly Marshall and Ted. Lily held her so hard that she almost broke her back. Barney bought her a great bottle of scotch and told her to make Japan awesome. She was sad to leave them behind, but travelling the world as a journalist had been her dream and the main reason she moved to NYC in the first place. So, she swallowed her feelings and left without looking back. (Although, she did hear Marshall weeping like a girl.)

 

The first days in Tokyo were mind-blowing like she imagined they would be. Everything in Tokyo was different from New York and she loved every second of it. Everything seemed exotic and strange. Robin still had a hard time remembering to take her shoes off all the time and she was amazed by the fact that such a in big city, with so many people, no one bumped into each other. Those Japanese people were weirdly agile in a crowd. In any case, after 3 or 4 days, Robin was already in love with Tokyo and had completely forgotten all about the Big Apple, until Barney phoned her in the middle of the night.

 

“I know, you want to hunt me down with your shotgun, but I need to speak to someone who makes sense!” She was still groggy with sleep and couldn’t figure out where this was going. She let out a weird sound that mostly meant: I’m tired, I don’t care!

 

“Ted is getting married in 3 days!” She sat up straight in her bed, half of her hair in her face. “Say what?”

 

Barney sighed on the other end of the phone. “Stella’s sister’s wedding fell through and everything was ready, so Ted and Stella decided to make use of it all and get married. He will call you later probably to invite you.” She thought of mentioning that it would have been the courteous thing to do for him too, but she let it slide when he sighted again. “This is the worst, Scherbatsky. Help me there!” Robin sat more comfortably in her bed. “Barney, you wanted Ted to get married, remember? You were happy about it.”

 

He scoffed. “Please. That was all an act. I’m all for Ted to realize his long term life dream to get shackled to a woman and loose his balls - -” Robin wanted to laugh but revised against it. If she encouraged him now, there would be no end to his smugness and she was way too tired to handle that. “– just not with Stella. She ain’t the one Robin!”

 

She snorted. “You don’t know that!” There was a silence for three seconds on the line before Barney said: “She wants him to move to New Jersey and he said yes.”

 

O.K. Now she was wide awake. She had forgotten about that. If there is a place in the world that Ted Mosby hated more than anything, it’s New Jersey. “Typical Smosby!”

 

He laughed quietly. One of those laughs that came from deep within his stomach. The one he used only when she was the one making him laugh. Something inside of her vibrated like an old harp cord that had not been used in months. She stayed silent, enjoying this feeling that had not come in a long time. His voice came back ringing in her ear, more quietly.

 

“Will you comeback for the wedding?” He seemed hesitant to ask and somehow a part of her understood. She was on the other side of the world and they’d been talking on the phone as if she were in her apartment in NYC, just a 20 minute cab ride from his place. This...thing they had, this chemistry, she didn’t always understand it. But coming to Tokyo had not diminished any of it.

 

“I – I don’t know if I can.” To tell the truth, she didn’t want to. Now one wants to be the ex-girlfriend of the groom at a wedding. It would be horribly weird and awkward. They were a couple a year ago and even thought she was not in love with Ted anymore, she still felt a bit hurt that he decided to get married so fast. It was mostly her pride, she admitted. Plus Ted, the eternal romantic, was disappearing into this relationship, into this wedding. He wasn’t Ted anymore and she wasn’t sure she wanted to be there to see that.

 

Barney didn’t say anything for a few instants. She heard the sound of his keys and the door of his apartment opened and closed. They stayed silent for a long time, his breathing in her ear. She heard the sound of the silk of his suit when he took it off. She closed her eyes and tried to remember how he looked like when he did so. She breathed in, hoping to catch the smell of his spicy cologne, but only the smell of Tokyo’s humidity and her room’s tatamis caught in her senses.

 

She opened her eyes, shocked. “I should go back to sleep; early job and all that.”

 

He stayed silence for a moment and then said: “If you decide to come to the wedding, Lily and Marshall would like you to stay at their place. They miss you and all that sappy stuff.”

 

She smiled. “Great. I miss them too, I guess. Well I would, if it were in my personality to do so.” She did miss them a lot, he knew that. She missed all of her friends. He didn’t say a thing about it.

 

He laughed. “Stay awesome, Scherbatsky.”

 

“You too, Stinson.” He didn’t miss a beat. “Always.” And he hung up.

 

She stared at the phone for a couple of minutes after that and then went back to sleep.

 

The next morning, when she looked at her apartment, it was suddenly so very _small_. It always had been, but that day, it was especially so. She walked to the station and the announcement coming from the speakers every 2 minutes drove her mad. The rush hour was crazy, people crashing her into the door of the train and she thought that she was freakishly huge compared to everyone else.

 

She did her job as usual, with the best professionalism she could muster. Pros were pros and even whilst telling the news with a monkey, Robin Scherbatsky was a pro. During the commercial, she looked around her and she decided that she hated Tokyo. She hated Tokyo and she missed Barney. More than she thought she should. Then her phone rang, it was Ted Mosby, inviting her to his last minute wedding, just as Barney had predicted.

 

“Come on, you have to come! It’s my wedding!” She was a bit too busy to deal with emotional Ted right now. “I can’t Ted, I’m in Tokyo. It’s my first week on the job. I can’t just take off. Plus, I’m finally doing some serious news.” Who was she kidding? She was sharing her screen time with a monkey. She hated Tokyo.

 

“It’s my _wedding_ , you have to be there!” The smallest Japanese guy she had ever seen signed to her that it was time to go back on air. “Ok. Ok. I’ll come!”

 

She hung up.

 

**12321**

 

She wanted to think that she left Tokyo to be there for Ted, but the fact that she quit her job and left Japan with all her stuff was screaming something else.

 

Later in the afternoon, before the wedding, Ted admitted to her that Stella thought it was weird that his ex-girlfriend was there and she would like her not to be. Robin was relieved. But her relief got away from her and she ended up telling Ted to not get married, along with the other thoughts she had about this. Barney was right, she was not the One and Robin tried to make him understand. He stormed off, angry as hell at her and she decided that she should get drunk. But things don’t always go as planned. She headed to Barney’s room where she could seek company when Lily came to her like a tornado. Many things happened from then.

 

Stella left Ted at the altar to go back to her ex-boyfriend who was the father of her child. Robin went from wanting-to-get-drunk to I’m-gonna-kill-that-bitch. Lily asked if she could go get Barney and join them in Ted’s room. She agreed somewhat against her will. She and Barney didn’t want to see this marriage happen, but it was Ted who was supposed to understand that. He was supposed to have a sort of enlightenment and let go of Stella. Now she had to face Barney and tell him that wishing too hard was not such a good idea in the end.

 

Robin went to get Barney from his hotel room and ended up interrupting him while he was in the middle of two things; two girls, actually. She ignored the slight jealousy she felt. Leave it to Barney to score two girls _before_ the wedding ceremony. He looked surprisingly flushed, embarrassed from being caught by her. True, they had had sex before, but they never promised each other anything. And, she had been away in Tokyo. He had slept with a bunch of bimbos since that night.

 

However, it was the first time she saw him since she left and she had hoped for a better reunion. She didn’t know why, but she did imagine them, running towards each other in a slow motion, until he banged her brains out. Ted was rubbing off on her and she didn’t like it much. She’s Robin Scherbatsky, she didn’t do romance.

 

Barney ignored the girls calling him back in and smiled at her, trying to break the awkwardness. “I would ask you to come in, but it’s kind of a mess.” He stated.

 

She smiled too. He was forever Barney. She could steal instants of magic with him, but he was too ephemeral to be a real thing. It was the most beautiful thing about Barney Stinson, and the most heartbreaking.

 

His embarrassment disappeared with his smile, when she told him the news of Ted and Stella. He muttered to wait a bit and two minutes later he was out of the room, suited up and ready, leaving the two girls behind. Barney and her both joined Lily and Marshall in Ted’s room and they stood there in silence, at his side.

 

Later, they all went back to Manhattan, where they all cuddled up in their MacLaren’s booth, together. Barney was sitting right in front of her. She was doing the best she could to focus on a heartbroken Ted, but he was slowly slumbering into an alcoholic coma and Barney smelled heavenly. She did feel ashamed to focus on this when all of her attention should be on her friend who was definitely in pain. She should have stopped focusing on Barney, even more now, after catching him half naked, surrounded by two hot girls. It should have destroyed any desire she had for him. It should have disgusted her forever, but she felt hypnotized by the thousands of sparkling glitter in the air, sticking to her hair and eyelashes. She missed him in Tokyo. She wanted him, now.

 

Marshall helped Ted to get on his feet and he and Lily brought him up to his apartment, leaving Barney and her alone in the bar.

 

“Not exactly what I expected of today.” Barney was nursing his fifth glasses of scotch on the rocks and an air of defeat surrounded him. They were both a bit drunk, in that state of blur, where everything was a bit warmer and shinier. She reminded him that he was quite against this marriage in the first place, as was she. He smirked, drinking more. “Still sucks.”

 

She had nothing to say about that. Of course, it sucked. Even though she did believe that the wedding was not right for Ted, he loved Stella so much and was left at the altar. No one should have to go through that. Stella should have asked herself why she was so against her ex being at her wedding. Why she was so scared. Instead of confronting it, she let it happen, and Ted got his heart broken. Barney broke her angry thoughts with something she didn’t understand.

 

“Sorry?” He smiled. “I said: not exactly something you wanted from your vacation time. How’s Tokyo?” She stared at her drink and admitted under her breath: “I quit.”

 

He sat straight in the booth, advancing his body toward her. “Say what now?”

 

She took a deep breath and spoke louder: “I quit it. I just quit it.”

 

He looked perplexed. He was going to say something but she closed his mouth by a sign of her hand. “I hated it, Barney. I did succeed to delude myself for a couple of days and it hit me back in the face. It was a horrible job in a horrible city.” She finished her glass in one shot. “God! Everything is so freakishly small there!”

 

He laughed loudly. For many minutes, he just laughed. Her heart felt lighter for the first time in a week. She had been scared she was taking a too rash a decision. She mentioned it to Ted earlier, and he didn’t react too well, but they had been fighting about his wedding and personal choices. Not the greatest timing for advice. But suddenly she knew that she would not regret it. It had been horrible and she was glad to get it out of her.

 

Barney argued that he loved Tokyo. “It’s the best sushi in the world after all! And they have these great clubs with hot girls paid to find you funny and attractive.” She let him tell her stories about hostess clubs and sumo match rigged by Yakuza. She thought that maybe, the reason why she had started to hate Tokyo, was because she had no one to share it with.

 

After his excitement about Japan hit the bottom and his drunkenness hit a higher level, she changed the subject. “Too bad you had to leave your two naked girls earlier.” He shrugged with an air that said he didn’t care. “Tomorrow, I will regret it and blame it all on Ted, but today... Bros before hoes, Robin.”

 

She smiled flirtatiously at him and he crooked his eyebrow. For a second she wondered if what she wanted to say was such a good idea. It probably wasn’t, but then, he advanced himself at the edge of the booth, a seductive smile on the thin lines of his lips. His spicy smell, that she had tried to imagine in her room in the middle of the night two days ago, came to tickle her nose, making her feel like a cat on catnip. “I don’t have anywhere to sleep tonight. Can I come to your place?”

 

Robin let her question fully enter his mind, and in less than a second, his hand crossed over the table and found her neck, his thumb circling her pulse point, his other fingers slowly caressing the back of her neck. His hold was firm and possessive and he could probably have snapped her neck if he wanted to. Maybe that’s why she was turned on. He leaned over her, his lips tickling the lobe of her ear.

 

“I only have one big bed, Scherbatsky.”

 

Glitter exploded in her mind. Her whole body felt a tremor of desire coursing until it reached the tip of her toes. Tears came to wet her eyes like something was filling her instantly and it was too much. She stubbornly didn’t let them out and looked at him with all the desire she possessed for him.

 

“I know.”

 

**12321**

 

By the next day, Ted had already started to move his things back into his old apartment above MacLaren’s and he weirdly sounded all too chippy. He mentioned that he had moved on and was ready for the next step. Lily, Marshall and Robin were certain that he was doing badly, but Barney stated his own theory about the fact: that Ted was actually fine. “He escaped marriage, guys! Best thing that could have happened to him!”

 

The weeks went on and on, Ted repeating that he was fine and nothing really happened, until they went to this new tapas place and saw the one and only, Stella. They all ended up hiding under the table to avoid meeting her and all came to make confessions about people who they absolutely wouldn’t want to meet again. Barney mentioned this woman in prison who kept sending death him threats.

 

“We had the perfect relationship. She was not allowed, by law, to call me more than once a week and if she got too cuddly, the security would take care of her.”

 

Robin talked a bit about her father, raising her like a boy, never really loving her for being a girl. She thought this was much more embarrassing than her following years as a teenaged Canadian pop star. Everyone felt sorry for her, except Barney, who somehow found it hot. I guess they were both a big mess and it would probably take a lot to destabilize him. He would search sex in the arm of a prisoner and she still felt hurt by the fact that she didn’t always feel feminine because of her own father issues.

 

The gang ended up following Stella’s cab after Ted realized that he wanted to confront her. But when he saw her again, nothing happened. He changed his mind and walked out. He said something about having done the best thing he could have done; he didn’t yell at Stella, he let her go. They all went back to MacLaren’s where they shared drinks.

 

Barney came back from the bar with a new beer for Ted and a full glass of good smelling scotch for her. He smirked at her and brought back his attention to his cell phone, which was ringing. The conversation was short and direct before he looked at everyone. “Everyone, I’m might become a dad.”

 

Many things happened at once after this. Barney stated that it wasn’t his first pregnancy scare and there was a big chance that it was a false alarm. However, her mind exploded with feelings she could not identify. Maybe this could explain why she accepted Ted’s proposition the next day. She went to live with him.

 

They were simply roommates and let’s admit it, Lily and Marshall couldn’t live with her anymore. She had occupied their apartment long enough and it was time for her to have her own place. Without a job, it was hard to pay for one and Ted’s offer was perfect. However, she admitted that for a second, she regretted it. Now that she would be living with Ted, he would ask her where she was going all the time, looking out for her in his most annoying way and it would be hard for her to spend some “alone time” with Barney, even thought she was somehow ignoring him recently.

 

When Barney announced proudly that he was not a father, Robin danced in her mind. He was commitment free again and the fact that he didn’t impregnate a woman was a relief. She realized she had been angry at him, but sleeping with nameless bimbos was his thing and she knew. She was just another number on his list and even thought they had great fun (repetitively), he wasn’t hers.

 

Just like the very first time it had happened, Robin and Barney never talked about that second night they spent together after Ted’s failed ceremony. She had felt lonely and needed affection and maybe that was why it just went the way that it did, but every time she would close her eyes, she would see the smile he made when she climaxed under his tricky fingers. His eyes, three shades darker, boring into her when he finally joined her, the small scar of her teeth on his left shoulder that she had made when he brought her up high another time. All of this was burned on her retina, her eyes imagining glitter in the air.

 

There was just one little problem. The night that she came back from Japan had been the last time Barney and her had sex and since then, not once had he shown an interest in repeating it. Thus, months passed through and Robin dated here and there, looking for a nice relationship, her friendship with Barney became just that, a friendship.

 

**12321**

 

On a weird day when Robin had been a bit needy and Ted had been angry, they slept together. They had been fighting all the time over simple things. Being roommates wasn’t easy and they were both trying to get used to the quirks of the other. They surprisingly realized that they stopped fighting when having sex and decided to keep this “friends-with-benefits” relationship going.

 

Of course, the second it happened, the whole gang became aware of it. They all talked about it, Ted and Robin promising it was just some sex to make things better in the apartment; everything was left this way. Until Barney started to buy way too many TVs, that is.

 

When passing near MacLaren’s, Robin noticed Barney in the alley, taking a TV from the huge dumpster and throwing it angrily to the ground. She did always find an angry man to be attractive, but her curiosity was more powerful this time. Barney re-entered the bar by the alley’s door and she came through the front. He was whispering to Lily, a fake smile on his face.

 

She didn’t mention anything at the time and just let it slide. Barney had probably gotten angry at Lily for some reason and went outside to vent. Her curiosity died and she forgot about it all. Until the very next day, when she saw it again. And then the next day, and the next. One day, she actually saw him enter an electronic store, buy a TV and bring it to the alley to crash it against the ground. Something was seriously wrong with Barney and Lily. She decided to talk about it with her best friend the same night. Maybe Lily wasn’t aware that she was making him losing it.

 

In the bar, she joined everyone who were already there. She sat on the booth next to Ted, Lily and Marshall in front of them. Barney came back in, as if nothing had happened, took a chair and sat at the end of the booth with them.

 

“Robin! I was telling Lily and Marshall how great our peace thing was going.” They realized that the more sex they had, the more peace and quiet moments they had. It was quite miraculous, since Robin was getting a bit sick of Ted barging in on her personal time.

 

Barney took a large sip of his scotch and cleared his throat. “Are we still talking about you and Robin banging? Delightful!” His tone was higher, like it always is when he’s uncomfortable. Robin’s eyebrows knitted together.

 

Lily sighed loudly, drawing all the attention toward her. “I still think it’s a bad idea, someone _always_ gets hurt in those situations.” Ted laughed, reassuring Lily that it was perfectly fine. Then, to prove his point, he mentioned that morning, when she had joined him in the shower because he was taking too much time.

 

She was going to fist him hard in the arm for talking about those types of things, when Barney stood straight up like a violin string and excused himself. She saw him going through the door that lead to the alley and followed him. He took the same TV as five minutes ago and trashed it hard.

 

“Barney!”

 

He looked up to her, surprise drawn on his face. He put his hands into his pockets and gave one last kick at the broken TV. “What are you so angry at?”

 

She stepped toward him, but he stepped back. She stood there, quite taken aback by this subtle rejection. “Nothing. Really, I am just _fine_.”

 

His arms were stiff and his right leg had a tremor that he couldn’t control. Robin crossed her arms over her chest and stared at him. “You don’t look _fine_.” He scoffed. “You look down right pissed off.”

 

He sighed loudly, exasperated. “Seriously Scherbatsky, what’s with the British slang?”

 

She kept her arms crossed and shrugged. “Ted made me watch that sci-fi show of his. It’s British. And it might have rubbed off on me.”

 

He laughed, but to Robin it sounded so very cold and cynical. “Oh, so now, you and Ted are sharing pastimes and favorites! How delightful!”

 

Now, she was the one who was pissed off ( _damn it_!). What was his problem? They hand’t been spending much time together and when they did, it was always with the gang. It was fine by her, after a couple of months “without-barney”, she had moved from of this attraction she had for him. Gone was the glitter she used to see when he was near her. She didn’t feel any tremor from deep within her soul when he looked into her eyes. Nothing.

 

“Barney, you can be angry all you want, but you can’t just launch it at me and Ted.” He looked at her as if she were the dumbest person he had seen in forever. She grew uncomfortable. She uncrossed her arms, and then crossed them again.

 

“I am angry at _you_.”

 

Her arms finally decided to fall to either side of her body; they probably would have fallen onto the ground if they hadn’t been so well attached to her body. “Me?”

 

He sighed, defeated this time. He put his head down and pinched the spot on his nose, between his two eyes that were shut closed. He then faced her and stood right in front of her at an arm’s length. She looked for his eyes and she found them, dark, pupils dilated. It was a shade she didn’t know, a shade that had nothing to do with desire. He really was angry at her.

 

“Why Ted, really?” She was so surprised by his question that she just stood there in silence. She believed that she was still stuck somewhere deep in the color of his eyes. “You could’ve found any beneficial friend anywhere and you had to go for my best friend and your ex.”

 

He waited for her answer and she had no idea what to say. Really, what was the right answer to a question like this? “You’re jealous.” She stated. It might not have been the best move.

 

He didn’t miss a beat. He never did. “Yes.”

 

Well neither did she. Not anymore. “Why?” He was going to answer before her, so she stopped him by waving her hands in the air, going backwards in a panic. “God, if you say you are in love with me –”

 

He cut her. “Damn it, Scherbatsky, I’m not _Ted_.”

 

She relaxed for a moment and started to breathe again. “But I have been trying to control myself around you and you go and sleep with Ted. Seriously Scherbatsky, couldn’t you find another stupid guy somewhere else?”

 

She put her hands in front of her, signaling him to stop and take a break. Her mind was reeling so fast that she lost control of every jumbled thing in it and it scared her. “I- - I don’t get it.”

 

He sighed and looked directly into her eyes. “I like you, Robin.” Now _that_ was unexpected. She backed down and he stepped up. “I am not saying that I am head-over-heels in love with you, but I do like you. A lot.”

 

She begged the glitter to no come back in her mind, but there was no point in it when she caught the shine of one on his cheekbone. She took a deep breath. Her soul did _not_ shiver. Her body did _not_ tremble with desire. Her temperature was _not_ really hot and Barney Stinson in front of her was _not_ surrounded by magical glitter.

 

“For the first time in my life, I feel like I want the trouble of a relationship. You make me feel that the trouble is just not that much as _troubling_.” He admitted honestly, reaching for a part of her that was supposed to be dead.

 

She made commitment phobic Barney into commitment. Her! Robin Scherbatsky. She could have totally gloated about it, if she wasn’t so struck by his revelation. But then, for some unknown reason, except maybe her distress, she became really angry too. “You like me, but you were O.K. with me seeing another guy? And let’s not forget all the girls you’ve been with recently. How the hell is that liking me, Barney?” She yelled at him.

 

“I don’t know!” He yelled back, frustrated.

 

Robin crossed her arms again, shielding herself. Of course, he wouldn’t know. The poor man was a lothario, not a boyfriend. He hadn’t been a boyfriend for years. Who was she kidding? Barney just _can’t_ do relationships. Really, he can’t. He doesn’t even cuddle after sex. He just looks at the ceiling, waiting for his blood to flow back into his brain and then leaves.

 

The last time that they were together, she must admit that she was the one who left. They were at his place and once she was satiated, she took her luggage and went to Lily and Marshall’s. He had kindly offered her a stay for the night at least, but she refused. He followed her to the door and bid her goodbye nicely, with a kiss on her cheek. He had been exceptionally kind to her that night and then it hit her. _Damn it_! She thought. Barney liked her.

 

“Listen, Robin. I am not good at this. I mean, the last time I cuddled someone out of affection was my gay brother, James, at Christmas 5 years ago when I had too much eggnog. I have not one ounce of romantic fiber in me. I don’t even know what really happens after sex with a girlfriend. Do guys just really talk about it?” A small smile drew itself on her lips and she hid it by looking at the ground. But he saw it. He pushed his body closer to her, trying to gain back eye contact.

 

“But I know that I don’t like you with other men. I _hate_ you with Ted. I just don’t want to share you. Even Lily’s lesbian tendencies that normally turn me on, just... piss me off.” He smirked, she laughed.

 

“Bloody British.” She said, locking her eyes into his. “I am not really good at this either, Barney.” His index went to caress under her chin just for a second. She thought she would shake apart if he did it again. His smile was endearing and all she thought she had forgotten hit her like a powerful heat wave.

 

“We don’t have to be girlfriend and boyfriend. That’s something un-awesome people like Lily, Marshall and Ted do.” She laughed. “But I don’t want you to be anyone’s girlfriend or friend with benefits.”

 

She smirked. “This casual thing with Ted _is_ driving you nuts.”

 

His hands gripped her shoulder and he looked at the night sky in a very overdramatic manner. “Please. The guy thinks your left knee is an erogenous zone.”

 

She laughed and her hands went to reach his face, her fingers caressing his jaw. He looked a bit scared and insecure and it was probably because of the seriousness of her expression. Her heart leaped for him. “I like you too, Barney. But I don’t think it’s in you to be exclusive.”

 

He looked so sad, his eyes the clearest blue she had seen. Her hands, still on his face, started to shake and her whole body followed. Why, of all the men she knew, womanizer, sociopath Barney had to be the one who shook her armor to the very core. She felt his hands reached for her hips, slowly moving to the small of her back, pushing her towards him; her curves fit like puzzle pieces against him. Her hands left his face to go into his hair at the base of his neck.

 

“You don’t know that. Let me try, Robin.”

 

She shouldn’t. It was evident that this relationship, or whatever else they might have called it, would crash and burn, leaving ashes in the air. She should’ve seen and knew all of this, but the glitter in his eyes blinded her again and when he kissed her with everything he had, she thought she wanted to try too.

 

**12321**

 

Tickling fingers near her hips, his breath on her neck, his entire body enveloping hers, it made Robin feel incredibly hot. He would whisper words of passion; some dirty and some sweet and she would tremble underneath him, grabbing his shirt helplessly. He was hot like a fire, burning her inside out, the pressure of his body pinning her down aroused her more than she felt comfortable admitting.

 

“God, you are beautiful...” he whispered against her collarbone. He dropped kisses on her skin, unbuttoning her blouse with a quick excitement. She sighed and her nails scratched the back of his neck.

 

His hands went for her tights, lifting her pencil skirt high and she lifted her knees, installing him between her legs, where she wanted him. He moved up from her to get her blouse and bra out of his way and she used this moment to take off his shirt. He backed down to kiss her and when her breast crashed into his chest, she grasped his shoulder desperately, loving the contact. He laughed against her lips.

 

“Are you laughing at me?” She tried to look insulted, but the dark shade of blue in his eyes made heat pool in her stomach. He smiled wickedly, his hand unzipping her skirt.

 

“You are just so needy, it’s like you haven’t been touched by a man in years.” He teased. She pouted her lips and he kissed it away, sliding the skirt off her legs. Once freed, she hooked her legs around his hips. “Are you complaining?” His tongue found a nipple and she arched her back forward. “Nope, no complaints here.”

 

She found his belt and undressed him. The sound of the belt getting undone heated her up and she swore that she could see glitter stuck to the skin of his shoulder. “You really want to do this on a couch? The bed would be better.” Her hand found him below and she gave him a slight pressure that made him close his eyes in delight, a growl resonating in his throat that made his Adam’s apple move.

 

“The bed is far away.” She whispered, while his hands hooked on her underwear and removed them. He laughed; his lips against her belly. “So are the condoms.”

 

She breathed “Damn it.” And he chuckled. He surprised her by standing up in one swift motion, completely naked. He didn’t show one ounce of shame in his state of nudity.

 

“You know, you would look gorgeous tied up to my headboard.” On this, he left for his bedroom. She watched him walk away just to stare at his buttocks, and just before disappearing through the door, he turned around, his erection proudly showing. She licked her lips and left the couch faster than ever before.

 

Hours later, satisfied and exhausted, she was resting her head on his chest, her fingers playing with his nipple. She was still feeling light headed, her vision blinded by the thousands of pieces of glitter in the air which were falling one by one onto his naked skin, making it shine. One of his hands was tracing patterns on her arm, while the other was caressing her bum languorously. He took her hand away for his chest to kiss the inside of her wrist, where they could still see a red mark.

 

“Sorry for that.” She chuckled and shook her head. “Don’t be, it was amazing.” His smile tickled her insides and his tongue went to lick her wrist.

 

“Well next time, instead of handcuffs, I could use my tie.” She was going to argue that she liked a bit of pain, but then she imagined herself tied up with his red tie and instead went to kissed his nipple, moaning. “God, yes...”

 

He let her wrist go to travel his hand through her hair, kissing her forehead. “I don’t know if we are going to succeed in this relationship thing, but we are going to nail the sex part.” She smiled happily and put herself on top of him, kissing his throat, his hands were on her back, caressing the side of the breast.

 

“I agree. Ted never wanted to play bondage with me.” He laughed loudly. “How unsurprising of him.” He said, his fingers finding her sensible spot between her legs. She moaned contently. “He said he felt emasculated.”

 

Barney bit her shoulder, making her body tense deliciously. “A real man never feels emasculated with a hot woman on top, he feels grateful. True story.”

 

She put her two palms flat on his chest and sat herself up, on his waist. She smirked, feeling so very powerful on top of him. He let his eyes wander over her body and she realized how much she loved how adventurous and engaged he was toward sex. Nothing stopped him from experiencing strange and new ways to reach pleasure and she felt free, as if wings had sprung on her back. In Barney’s arms, she could explore her desires and her deepest sexual secrets. She raised her hips and her hand experimentally reached him slowly, watching his blue eyes roll into their sockets, his head pushed back, and his mouth forming a silence “oh”. He let himself bask in the pleasure she gave him and she felt stronger and more desirable than ever.

 

“Then, how grateful should I make you feel?” She wanted to play cat and mouse, the mistress and her slave; she wanted to possess him like he possessed her.

 

His dark blue eyes met hers, his pupils were dilated and his breath shallow. Sweat was descending on his neck, reaching his strong chest, she wanted to lick it away, but restrained herself. She had the control now, she couldn’t give it back to him, couldn’t show him how painfully gorgeous he was. Barney’s hands reached her hips and held her so strongly that he carved his fingers into her skin.

 

“Make me beg for it, Scherbatsky.” And she did.

 

**12321**

 

After three months, when Robin thought everything would come crashing down around them, they were actually still managing to make it work. They had been keeping it a secret from their friends. Marshall wouldn’t understand, Lily would press them to put a name to what they were to each other and Ted would probably try to dissuade her. In the light of all this, they kept organizing secret meetings, lying openly to their friends. Barney had always a new girl to go see when they asked him why he was leaving the pub so early and Robin was dating a string of hot and available men that they never met. “It’s so not serious enough for you to meet him, guys.” She had to admit it, lying turned them on. They would take two different taxis and meet at his place where they would make love like two adulterous lovers.

 

They knew that those _sexcapades_ would not last forever. Sooner or later, they would get caught and then, they would have to have _The Talk_. Robin tried, to the best of her abilities, to ignore the feeling of dread that overcame her every time she thought of that moment. She was almost certain that this would be the moment where Barney would run for his life, leaving her behind. Everything in her didn’t want this to end. She was so used to seeing the glitter in the air that the world now seemed prettier. Even when she was apart from him, everything would shine; her skin would tingle, her smile never leaving.

 

Lily did ask her why she had been so happy recently. “You’ve been glowing girl!” Robin just dismissed it. “I guess I’m just well laid by my never ending carousel of men.” Of course, her carousel had only one horse to ride and God knows that he had enough in him to entertain her forever.

 

Once they had tried every part of Barney’s apartment, they moved their endless coupling to her and Ted’s place above MacLaren’s. She found it more practical since it was so close to the bar and she didn’t have to wait during a 25 minute of taxi ride to finally get her hands on him.

 

At first, she hadn’t been enchanted enough to go there. Barney had been begging for weeks to just go upstairs. “Ted is staying in here with Lily and Marshall; he won’t come up for hours. At worst, he’ll think you have a weird hockey player lover in your room who is very good at giving you orgasms.” She rolled her eyes and categorically said no. She didn’t want to get caught by Ted of all people.

 

However, the more they went to Barney’s place, the more she thought it was too far. Then one night at MacLaren’s, she was sitting at their usual booth, Ted at her side, Lily and Marshall in front of them and Barney, on a chair at the end. They were having one of their usual conversations together when Barney’s hand slipped under the table and found the gentle skin of her thigh.

 

They had not had sex in a week, Barney being surprisingly busy going to his mother’s because she had caught a cold that turned bad. They had talked on the phone every day, voices full of promises and she had missed him so very much. One look and they both excused themselves with their usual phonies and got out of the bar. Barney was going to signal the nearest taxi, when she grabbed his tie and brought him upstairs with her.

 

Ted had always been a clean freak, where everything had its place, and it always annoyed her deeply. In exchange, she once asked him to move his drafting table for his architecture design into his room. “This table is so old; it’s a sore for the eyes!”

 

He had scoffed with indignation. “It’s a classic architecture table, just like the greatest minds had. It’s staying in here; it gives some _cachet_ to the living room.” If this statement didn’t make her want to strangle him, his utilization of the word _cachet_ definitely did. But that night, she had her revenge.

 

This table that she had always hated so much and thought to be so unpractical; “Ted, it’s inclined. You can’t even put a cup of coffee on it. It is _not_ a table!” became the next best thing when Barney lowered her back onto it while entering deeply, exactly where she needed him, hovering powerfully over her. A very evil part of her couldn’t wait to tell that to Ted.

 

After that, they mostly spent their night in her bedroom. They couldn’t really explore the endless possibilities of the living room and the kitchen in case Ted would come up unexpectedly, but the bright side was that she could keep him with her a bit longer before he would sneak out the fire escape. But everything changed one night and that night led to many other changes the next morning.

 

They were both out of breath, naked under her cotton sheets, big smiles on their faces. “Bravissiomo!” She breathed.

 

He chuckled slightly, putting his arms under his head. “Who ever thought that the old missionary could be this fun?”

 

Her laughter followed his and she turned on her side, her head finding the crook of his shoulder, her hand lazily tracing patterns on his chest. She hummed in contentment. She knew she had maybe thirty minutes or so before he’d skipped off through her window, so she focused on him completely.

 

He was the one who did the first surprising thing by holding her waist and firmly cuddling her against him. She thought it was quite shocking but he wasn’t finished throwing her off, because he then entangled his legs with hers, buried his nose into her neck, licking the red spot on her shoulder junction that he had strongly sucked and bit earlier. He hummed in contentment too. He never had before. Like, _never_. Heat pooled in her stomach and she gripped him harder, not letting go and she grinded her hips slightly against his leg that was resting between hers to satisfy the burning heat that had come back to her belly.

 

He chuckled, his mouth still on her neck, and he whispered quietly to her, his body vibrating, playing her like a violin. “Let me sleep here.”

 

She met his eyes, dark blue like the Pacific Ocean at night, near her old house in Vancouver. As a kid, she had thought it was the most beautiful sight in the world. Through his bedroom eyes, she was feeling it again. She smiled and he followed. He lowered his head to her and kissed her like he never had before. A simple pressure, lovingly caressing her lips and a storm of glitter shattered all her walls inside her heart.

 

“Yes.” She breathed into his mouth and he touched her with slow and lazy caresses, until she fell asleep against him, wrapped by his warmth.

 

When she first began to feel awake, the first thing she noticed was the sound of the city passing through her open windows. Lying on her belly, she nestled deeper into her pillow, enjoying the sun on her naked back. The cotton of her sheets felt particularly soft this morning and between all these clues she was driven to an evident conclusion; must be Sunday. And Robin _loved_ Sundays. She was still bathing in the fun enjoyment of Saturday night, appreciating that she could stay in bed as long as she wanted and that today was a day of freedom. Sundays were great. Then, something happened, something that made her love Sundays even more.

 

She felt open mouth kisses on her spine, getting lower and lower, until that very skillful mouth touched the spot where her back finished and her backside started. Sharp teeth bit her and she gasped, half asleep, and then they licked the bite for a taste. Tricky fingers retraced her spine up to her neck and massaged it. Lips, these lips full of promises, tickled her ear. “Morning.”

 

Barney’s voice was rough, his throat still asleep, showing her he hadn’t been awake for long either. “Tell me it’s not late already. I want more of this bed.” She begged him.

 

He chuckled, caressing the crease between her bum and her tights. He kissed her shoulder. “It’s so very early that I thought we could use this bed a little more and then sleep all over again.”

 

She turned on her back, the sheets leaving her full breast for him to admire under the sun. His eyes got darker in a second and her breath got stuck in her throat. His mouth descended on her left nipple, her hands in his blond hair, her legs wrapping themselves around his narrow hips. He was made of fire and burning on her skin and she wanted more of that kind of pain that was just right. That wonderful morning was the first of many more.

 

**12321**

 

“There is more maple syrup in your plate, than there is food.” He teased her.

 

She looked down at her plate. She had ordered scrambled eggs, bacon and sausages when she asked to the nice waitress if they had Canadian maple syrup. Normally, no brunch or restaurant in NYC had, but she always tempted fate. This time, at this brunch restaurant, they had it. Robin went crazy and put syrup over everything on her plate.

 

She had told Barney to do the same with his sunny side-up eggs: “That’s how Canadians eats breakfast, Barney.” He had made a face of disgust, but complied anyway. “The best is the bacon and sausages in syrup. It’s homeland heaven.”

 

He arched his eyebrows at her. “Even Heaven is cheap in your colony.” She rolled her eyes at him. “Canada is a country Barney. It’s actually bigger than USA.”

 

He gasped dramatically and muttered something like blasphemy and Robin smiled with affection. They both thought that having brunch was a total smutty couple-ly thing to do. Even when she used to go out with Ted, a part of her always thought it was ridiculous. The food was amazing, but the ambiance... They were mostly surrounded by old couples, grandmas and granddads, big families of five and it always annoyed her. Of course, Barney had to surprise her again.

 

He had found a nice brunch place in Soho were most of the people around them were young couples or group of friends having a blast eating exotic fruits and sharing weird mixed juices. It was young, energetic and very far away from the impression that Robin had had of a brunch restaurant.

 

“It’s really a nice place, Barney. How did you find it?” He smiled proudly. “I know a guy.” She laughed. “You have a guy for everything, do you?”

 

He shrugged and put his fork down to sip his cup of coffee. “Not everything. I don’t have a guy for you. I take my responsibilities toward your pleasure very personal.” His smile was a bit wicked, a bit dirty and his eyes were fixed on her, while he drank.

 

She bit the inside of her mouth, trying not to laugh. If she laughed, he would act even smugger than before and then he would start to flirt grandly, taking her to the bathroom stool and make out with her until she begged for more. Normally, she would gladly comply, but her breakfast was amazingly good.

 

“Shut up.” was all she said. He laughed and kissed her wrist.

 

 _Damn smug bastard,_ she thought.

 

**12321**

 

Robin woke in his king sized bed. The room was still in the darkness, and when she glanced at the clock, she saw it was around 4 in the morning. She sat up and looked around for Barney but he wasn’t in the room. She borrowed his Hugh Hefner bathrobe and went to the living room. He was at the kitchen table, writing rapidly on his computer, wearing only a pair of Armani sweat pants.

 

“Whatcha doing?” She asked; her voice still heavy from the sleep and the screaming earlier on. He smiled at her for a second to acknowledge her but his eyes refocused themselves on the screen. “Just a bit of work, I couldn’t sleep and Rupert wants this on his desk tomorrow before noon.”

 

She finally could see it, what Barney did for a living. She slowly approached him and massaged his neck. He moaned in contentment but stayed focused. “Rupert is your boss?”

 

He shook his head negatively. “Nope. Just a friend in need. He can’t write this by heart and he doesn’t have a lot of free time, so I said I’ll help.”

 

Robin _mmm_ -ed in response and looked over his shoulder toward his screen. There were a bunch of numbers and letters. It mostly looked like very complicated maths. “Are you doing algebra, right now, at 4 in the morning?” she asked, surprised.

 

He scoffed. “Please, that is not algebra.” She felt relief for a second there, unknowing of why her lover doing complicated algebra was so stressful. “That’s a programming of shield against computer viruses.”

 

Her hands that were still massaging his shoulders stopped. “Sorry, what?”

 

He shrugged, still typing. “Yeah, I don’t know why he needs it either, but _NASA_ was walking around _Atrucell_ last month. Well, whatever.”

 

he backed off from him and placed herself in front of the table to look into his eyes. “You know how to program an anti-virus by heart? What are you, _Sheldon Cooper_ ?”

 

He just smiled wickedly and stopped typing just for a moment to meet her eyes and says: “ _Bazinga_.” Then, he went back to work.

 

But then, it explained so much about her lover. She remembered the college Barney all of them had seen in that video he did for his ex-girlfriend. He had been a virgin hippy, waiting for marriage and wanting to save the world. She remembered thinking that he was quite skinny and geeky looking. Barney had been a little geeky boy, all about theories against world hunger and discovery of aliens. When he decided to become awesome, he probably hit the gym and started to hide his intelligence as the same as for his vulnerability.

 

Even so, the sensible young man was still threaded deep within him. She had never seen him punch someone or get in a fight; he was mostly the type to run away, scared to death, while she’d threaten them with her gun hidden in her bag. He had these crazy theories about super heroes and even though she would never admit it out loud; he was a freakishly good magician. Barney was an intellectual; someone who would try anything and do it repeatedly until success.

 

Robin took a deep breath. She didn’t know why she was stressing about this at all, but it was when she looked at him, all focused and intelligent looking, that she realized. She wasn’t stressed, she was turned on. Her! Robin Scherbatsky, who thought that the attractive muscles and scars of hockey players were worth the fact that they were completely stupid, was turned on by an intellectual pretty boy. _Damn it!_ If her father knew, he would send her to the army.

 

She walked towards him and placed herself between him and the laptop. He backed off on his kitchen chair, a bit surprised, but he recuperated fast and his hands went to her waist in a matter of seconds. “That robe fits you.” All the intellectual focus was lost and his eyes became darker, his face showing passion.

 

“Maybe you could explain to me all the theory things, I’m quite curious.” It could have been a genuine question if she didn’t make it sound so dirty.

 

“I don’t really want to talk about science now.” He counter-attacked, his fingers opening her robe, revealing her naked body.

 

She sat on his thighs and shrugged off the robe. Her nailed traced his chest, leaving red marks. “I do. Talk to me.” She bit his earlobe and grinded against his hips.

 

“Robin, I have ADD, you can’t ask me to focus on two things at the same time when I find it hard to focus on only one.” He complained, but she ignored him and grabbed his pants elastic.

 

He chuckled under his breath, kissing her shoulder with an open mouth, his tongue drawing symbols on her skin. “I can’t believe it, a geek turned Robin Scherbatsky on.” She grinded harder against him and felt him growing hard between her legs. Not caring if she sounded desperate, she begged: “Shut up and do me, Stinson.”

 

He laughed openly and grasped her bum and lifted her up. He sat her on the table, pushing the laptop away. “Yes ma’am!”

 

She’ll never admit it, but when he started to whisper into her ears facts about the deep space, she flew higher and even today, she still felt a bit ashamed that she came when he mentioned the rings of Saturn. Were they made of glitter?

 

**12321**

 

Everything seemed perfect at first, but sadly it didn’t stay that way. Some days, she would wake up in the middle of the night, hugging a pillow, while a half asleep Barney tried to sneak out throughout the window, his pants and vest on him, shirt in hand. “Barney, you can stay in bed.” She said loud enough for him to turn around. Eyes half closed, he smiled. “Right, dating. Not one night stand.” Like a zombie, he let himself fall onto her bed, still dressed. It wasn’t the last time that it happened.

 

The other day, she had had the most horrible day at work and was in her living room, crying with a glass of scotch when he came in. He did look concerned and asked what was wrong. She started to explain it when he shushed her. “What you need is to talk about it all.” She had smiled at him, happy that he was there for her until; “After you finish talking to Lily, you can join me downstairs at the bar for sex in the bathroom.” Then he left.

 

She learned something that day; Barney didn’t know how to be a considerate boyfriend. How to be a careful, giving, considerate lover, yes. Boyfriend? That needed some work. His habits of celibacy were so strongly carved into his very core that trying to change himself had been creating a weird ripple effect. Sometimes he would do the kindest things, like buying her a drink without her asking for it; taking her shopping on Fifth Avenue after she had seen an unaffordable dress, letting her get away with stealing his favorite cigars and acting like he didn’t know about it. Some other times, he would act like a free man, going to his favorite strip club, winking at a hot girl on the street, staring at another woman’s breasts.

 

He did realize it sometimes; Robin could see it on his face. Like the nights when he unconsciously tried to leave her room in secret, he would wake up in the morning, remembering what he had tried to do and he would say sorry, embarrassed. She would smile to him, saying it was fine; they would get used to this, but Robin was seriously wondering if they could. She realized she needed to see if this relationship was really that; a relationship. So she decided to face all of her fears of them and one night, at McLaren’s, before everyone else had arrived she said: “I want to tell the others.”

 

He looked suddenly uncomfortable and took a long sip of his scotch. She had been expecting so many different reactions, but all of them led to him running away from her. She had not expected this: “O.K.”

 

Her eyebrow rose up. “Really? You’re up for it?”

 

He shrugged. “I am freaking out right now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t look forward to their reaction to it. Probably thinking I’m ruining you or something.” She was going to disagree but he didn’t let her. “But if it’s what you want, making it official and all, well then, O.K. Let’s do this.”

 

And so they did.

 

“Woo hoo!” Robin and Barney backed off on their seat, eyes as big as their scotch glasses. Marshall looked around in the pub, giving apologetic eyes to everyone. He lowered himself over to his wife. “Lilypad, please! We are in a bar, use your inside whou hou.”

 

She looked guilty for a minute, but her wicked smile came back on in an instant. “Woo hoo.”

 

“Does Ted know, yet?” Leave it to Marshall to think about Ted at any moment of the day. Robin sighed and Barney rolled his eyes.

 

“Not yet, no. We are testing on you guys first.” Lily’s eyes looked like she was on a bad crystal meth high and Robin was seriously afraid for her own life. Barney seemed quite relaxed now, after the positive reaction. He actually chuckled. “And Lily seems perfectly fine with it.”

 

The woman in question started to jump in her seat. “You guys are finally a couple!” Robin took a second to realize what her best friend had said. “Finally?”

 

Lily ignored her grandly. “We could double date!” Robin tried to get her attention again, gesticulating like a mad woman. “What do you mean, finally?”

 

Again, Lily ignored her. “Oh! It _is_ our first double date now! Oh Marshall this is _so_ exiting!” Robin just gave up.

 

Lily began looking more and more like a kid on sugar and Redbull. This was definitely not the reaction she had been expecting from them, even though Barney had relatively calmed down by now. She supposed it was more Ted’s reaction that was scaring him and had to admit that she was not looking forward to that conversation either.

 

“Before you start planning the wedding of our future children, I need a drink, Lily.” Barney smiled and his hand went to massage the back of her neck. “Scotch on the rocks?” She was so swept by his attention and care that her two friends disappeared for a moment. “Thank you.”

 

He kissed her temple and stood up. “Coming with you, man.” Marshall accompanied him to the bar, leaving a very helpless Robin with the wolf.

 

Lily was smiling at her as if she were the one in love with Robin. “He actually did it.” Robin advanced her body toward Lily, reached for her arm on the other side of the table.

 

“Lily, stay with me here.” Lily eyes were moving fast under her excitement. “What? What?” Robin breathed in and took both of her friend’s hands in her own. “What do you mean, he did it?” Lily started to look guilty.

 

Her excitement dying, she bit her lips. “Oops.”

 

Robin had always found it slightly annoying that her best friend couldn’t keep a secret, yet, now Robin wondered how many secrets she actually succeeded to keep. “You are hiding something, tell me.” Of course, Robin saw all the signs; her pupils were dilated, her hands were shaking, her lips had a small tremor. She just wanted to spill the bean. She nervously looked toward the bar; Marshall and Barney were waiting for drinks, laughing together.

 

Lily gripped Robin’s hands hard and pulled towards her. “What I am about to say, Barney must never know.” Robin slowly nodded, preparing herself for something terrible. “Since his accident, Barney had been calling me at every hour of the day or the night. He couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat.”

 

She took a pause for dramatic effect. “He was thinking about you all the time.”

 

Robin batted her eyelashes, glitter stuck to them like confetti on a wedding dress. “He was in love with you. He was just too scared to act on it. No matter how much I pushed him.” Then, Lily retreated back onto her seat, glad to have spilled the beans. “I’m glad he had the courage.”

 

When Barney and Marshall came back, drinks in hand, Robin was still trying to swallow the information she had just received. Barney’s arm came to rest on her shoulders the second his bum touched the seat, balancing her glass of scotch over her. She looked at him and smiled, her hand blindly gripping the drink he was offering. She thanked him with a kiss. No matter how unexpected that had been, she was glad she decided to attempt this. It was rocky and Barney was adjusting with difficulty to this exclusive relationship thing. But he was trying and she was too blissful to care.

 

**12321**

 

Three days later she decided that it was time to tell Ted. She asked Barney if she could talk to him alone. She didn’t want Ted to get mad at Barney for being an angry wolf and take pity on her like the last time.

 

“If I explain to him that it was my decision to go through with this and if you are not there to rub into it –“He scoffed, offended. “It might be easier.” He stared at her, looking for the right answer.

 

He sighed, giving up. “Fine. But if anything, you call me, I’ll be up in a minute.” She smiled and nodded.

 

He left the small kitchen of her apartment and said goodbye to Ted. “Going downstairs, bro! Stinson out!” He left in a grand way, like he did with everything. Robin went to sit near Ted, who was watching _The price is right_.

 

“I need to talk to you about something important.” Ted Mosby was the most sentimental man Robin had ever met in her life, along Marshall, of course. Ted hurriedly turned off the TV and turned his entire body toward hers. He took her hand. “I’m always listening.”

 

Robin looked directly into his eyes. She decided to go for the plaster theory, all in one go. “Barney and I are dating.” He sat there, her hand still in his, staring at her. “Ted?” He blinked once, and then twice; she gulped.

 

“I know.”

 

She stood up. “Say what?”

 

He laughed, looking at her as if she were the stupidest person he’d ever met. “You told Lily and Marshall. What did you expect?”

 

Robin stubbornly tapped her foot against the floor. “Damn it, Lily!”

 

He laughed more and she let herself fall onto the couch. “I had a speech all prepared. I even asked Barney to leave to evade a fight and you _knew_.”

 

He chuckled and bumped her shoulder. “I wouldn’t have fought Barney. I’m kind of happy for the two of you.” She was quite dubious about that and he saw it.

 

“I am! I was quite surprised when Barney came and asked me permission to go after you, but --” She stood again. “Say what?”

 

Barney busted into the apartment. “Ted, you promised you wouldn’t say!” Robin punched him in the arm.

 

“You were listening!” He moved on from the pain in his arm and threw her a look that meant that it was a given that he would. She rolled her eyes.

 

“I can’t believe you. I was so stressed about this and you actually went to ask his permission –” She stopped herself and looked at Ted. He guessed her thoughts and answered: “Six months ago.” She hit Barney again on the same very spot; he balanced back and fell to the couch.

 

Ted laughed and added: “He did a weird analogy about a Canadian double breasted suit that I had tried on that fit him better and he wanted to buy it.” She hit him again. He actually yelped this time.

 

Robin sat on the chair near the sofa and looked at both of them, exasperated. Ted was clearly laughing at her expense. “Stop laughing Mosby.” He laughed harder, telling her that she had to admit that the situation was hilarious. Why did she expect that Lily wouldn’t talk?

 

She became unreasonably angry at him. Her vengeance would be sweet. “What’s funny is how much you still pet that beloved architecture table of yours like a cat, even after me and Barney had raunchy sex on it.”

 

Barney smirked wickedly and Ted’s expression froze, unreadable. “I hate you, guys.”

 

Very sweet, indeed.

 

**12321**

 

Robin had not been a romantic since her sweet sixteen. She outgrew any sappy feelings and became a woman of lustful desire, independence and strength. She always went for what she wanted, men included. She never really let them be all mushy with her (except Ted, because it would simply had been impossible to stop him) for the simple reason that she hated it. Men weren’t really good at it anyway, always bringing roses and chocolate when all she wanted was a good bottle of scotch and maybe a cigar. Lily always told her that you get what you wish for and Robin ended up getting it with Barney.

 

Barney was the man who she thought didn’t do (or know) romance. He wasn’t a Ted Mosby, he would not steal a blue French horn for her, or place a quartet in her apartment, and even less try to make it rain for her. Barney was the kind of man who would knock on her door, ask her if she was in the mood and without waiting for her answer, undressed her and took her right on the couch. Of course, he surprised her, like he always did.

 

They had lunch in the afternoon at an expensive sushi restaurant in Manhattan. They had to sit at a bar as they received their sushi piece by piece, the master behind the counter looking quite amazing. It had been delicious and Robin had been touched that he wanted to share one of his favorite restaurants with her, but she wasn’t in the mood. She had had a horrible morning at the TV station.

 

It was Barney who had found her this job after she had quit her other job in Tokyo. She had received a letter mentioning that she would have to go back in Canada if she didn’t find a job within the next week in her field. Not wanting for her to be expulsed from the U.S., Barney had found her a job as an anchor in an early morning show.

 

It was way too early and she had to wake up at 3 in the morning every day. Not only did she have to leave a warm and naked Barney in bed alone, her new co-star, Don, was a pain in ass. She wanted to be the pro she knew she was and Don was really acting like a jackass, not even wearing pants under the News table.

 

She knew Barney had brought her to this restaurant to cheer her up, but it wasn’t working much and he realized it. They left each other, Barney going back to GNB, Robin going back to her apartment to sleep.

 

Robin woke up around seven in the evening to the sound of water running. She got up, put her silk bathrobe on and followed the sound. She saw Barney’s suit vest on the couch, his shoes and socks randomly on the ground.

 

She supposed he was taking a shower (she didn’t stop herself to think why in her place and not his) and started to clean his mess when she heard him say: “I’m in the bathroom, Robin.” _Obviously_ , she thought, but she went there anyway.

 

He was wearing his white shirt with his sleeves rolled up, no tie. Barefoot, sitting at the edge of her bathtub, he was filling it, a scent of eucalyptus blowing in the air. The lights were off, but he had lit up some candles on her bathroom counter. The shadows of the flames made his cheekbones sharper as his eyes danced on her. He was incredibly gorgeous to her all the time, but now, she just wanted to sit at his feet, her head on his leg, and bathe in him.

 

She found her voice. “What’s this?” He shrugged.

 

“You were so stressed at lunch and I didn’t know what to do, so I asked Lily. She thought you would like to take a relaxing bath.” He reached behind him for a bottle of 20 year old scotch resting at the other side of the tub. “But I put my personal touch into it.”

 

She smiled at him, her heart leaping toward him with her being unable to catch it back. “I thought of getting you a cigar too, but Lily said that the smell might clash with the scented oil she gave me.” He looked at her with an insecure expression.

 

“I love it.” It might have been Lily’s idea, but the fact that Barney did ask for help in the romance department touched her. And he did bring a bottle of scotch instead of roses.

 

He shut off the water and stood up; a wicked smile drawn on his lips. His arms found her waist, one of his hands playing with the silk string tying her bathrobe. He kissed her on the lips and as much as she wanted him to make her burn, he released her mouth. She moaned his name, a whisper on his skin like a breeze on a pacific beach. In silence, he tugged on the string, opening her clothes to him. His hands travelled up on her arms until his finger caught the side of the robe and let it slide off of her, pooling at her feet. She hummed in content as his fingers went to tease her nipples and his mouth sucked the sensible spot on her shoulder.

 

She was going to reach for him, refusing to let go until late in the morning, when he stepped back. She felt cold as ice, with his body burning so far away from her. “Go into that tub before I forget all my nice gentleman-like thoughts. Lily had been clear; no pervert sex things.”

 

She scoffed and leaned her body against him, feeling his every sharp curve. “Pervert sex thing relaxes me. Take it with me.” She begged in a breath.

 

A growl from deep in his stomach busted out of his lips, reaching her to the core, making her toes curl on the ceramic floor. “I’ll go get glasses for the scotch.” He left in a hurry, passing her by like a wolf, eyes roaming on her. When he was out the door, Robin smiled and finally stepped into the tub, warm water relaxing her muscles. She leaned in, closing her eyes, surrounded by the scented oil that Lily chose.

 

She instinctively knew when he was at the door again; two glasses in one hand, the other already working his shirt’s buttons. He put the glasses on the rim of the bathtub and she thought she should fill them with the bottle near her head, but her eyes were transfixed on him, stripping. The Barney she knew would have taken off his clothes faster than the roadrunner, but he, at that moment, took his time. While slowly undressing, he kept his eyes locked on her, observing every reaction she had.

 

His shirt reached the floor in silence and his tricky fingers went to his belt buckle. The sound of metal filled the bathroom with an echo that reached her deep within her thighs. He took the belt off completely before unzipping his pants. Once (finally!) naked, Barney stepped in the tub from the other side and sat, his legs intertwined with hers. She grabbed the bottle of scotch and served them their respective glasses. They locked eyes and clanged their drinks together, smiles on their faces.

 

Later, when Barney made love to her, it was slow and lazy, but full of a sensuality like she wasn’t used to. When she came, him deep within her, in their final round, a firecracker exploded in her room, snow of glitter falling on his sweaty skin, making him shine under the moonlight. She knew at that moment. She loved Barney Stinson.

 

**12321**

 

Sooner than she saw it coming, it had been a full year since Barney had trashed a bunch of TVs and they both had decided that they should give themselves a try, for the sake of the electronic world. She didn’t expect Barney to celebrate it with her and a week just before the actual date; she realized that he didn’t even notice.

 

Robin had never been the one to celebrate anniversaries. After all, there was too much of it. Lily and Marshall seemed to celebrate something about their relationship almost every month; first kiss, first date, first time having sex, etc., etc. She had once dumped a man who wanted to celebrate their first month anniversary. Thankfully, Barney had always agreed with her about it. He openly laughed in Marshall’s face when he announced that he and Lily were celebrating their first hand holding.

 

But since her relationship began with Barney, she found herself wanting to celebrate a bit more than before. Not as much as her friends, obviously, but the first year anniversary monster was whispering sweet nothings into her brain.

 

She voiced her concerns to Lily, Marshall and Ted, one night at MacLaren’s. Lily and Ted _awww-ed_ at her and told her that it was sad that he had forgotten. They were both ready to pity her to no end, when Marshall scoffed in indignation. “Lily forgets all the time; I need to remind her of our wedding anniversary every year, a month in advance.”

 

Lily’s cheeks became bright red and she elbowed her husband. “What I mean, Robin, it’s that not everyone cares or thinks about anniversaries and it’s not a bad thing. You used to not care either.” Robin nodded, Ted and Lily feeling a bit guilty. “If you want to celebrate, instead of waiting for a surprise, _do_ the surprise.”

 

She dug her brain out for days after this, trying to find a way to surprise Barney without being too mushy and romantic enough that he would laugh at her. Now, two days away from the actual day, Robin was still stuck. She was getting angry at herself and it affected her mood. Obviously, her boyfriend noticed. He asked her many times what was wrong, why was she so much on edge. She brushed it off, saying it was just working with Don that was annoying her to death. It wasn’t a complete lie so Barney bought it easily.

 

The day of the anniversary, Robin was still in her slump and when she woke up in the morning, the arms of her lover around her, she decided that she would simply buy a new negligee after work and bring some take out sushi from his favorite restaurant to his place. Her boyfriend did love her in a negligee, especially a dark blue one.-

 

After work, she went to the first shop of underwear she saw from her office building. After some browsing, a hand tapped her shoulder. Don, her annoying and non-wearing-pants at work co-worker, was there, looking at her like some sort of pervert.

 

“Getting hot and bothered, Scherbatsky?” She hated when someone other than Barney used her last name and from Don, it just made her cringe. “I don’t understand, Don.”

 

He laughed and put his hand on her arm. “Just kidding! Looking for a gift for that mystery man of yours?”

 

She scoffed, “He is _not_ a mystery.” Don raised his eyebrows and laughed again. Robin was starting to wonder if he was really a happy person or if he was laughing at her. Her teeth clashed together.

 

“Robin, you have met two of my one night stands and my sister, while I don’t even know the big guy’s name.” Robin’s eyebrows knit together and she pouted. It was true that, apart from the gang, she didn’t talk about Barney much.

 

Many times she had been tempted to do so, like in the makeup room at the station, or at the restaurant, dining with the sexy researchers. They all gloated about their boyfriends or fiancés and Robin secretly prided herself that her lover was a hundred times better than those weird guys, but she never opened her mouth. She sinfully wanted to keep Barney to herself. Gone was the teenage idea of impressing people with her relationship. Barney was more amazing than anyone that she knew and she zealously kept him for herself.

 

“His name is Barney, he works at GNB and he is very intelligent. Satisfied?”

 

Don smirked. “No. He sounds like an ugly geek.” Robin sighed and started to ignore him, searching for a negligee that would fit Barney’s taste. The damn moron followed her around.

 

“Come on, there must be something more you could tell me. Why hide him, he’s not a North Korean spy is he?” She looked at him full of indignation.

 

“Of course not!” Then she smirked at her turn. “He just works with them.”

 

It seemed that her tactic worked out pretty well and she was able to finally leave a gobsmacked Don in the middle of the push-up bra section and leave the shop, deciding to just go on to Victoria Secret on 6th Avenue and 34th street; it was Barney’s favorite. After that afternoon, Don never asked about Barney ever again. That is until he finally met him, months later.

 

Robin finally found a sexy navy blue string of silk (she didn’t dare to actually call it clothes). It was in the entrance of the shop and Barney had been saying that he would love to see her in it every time they passed in front of the store. Satisfied with her purchase, she stopped at Barney’s sushi restaurant for a grand order. The chief (Master! Would have corrected Barney) assured her that she would receive them all in time and it gave her just enough time to get herself ready.

 

Just before six, Barney called on her cell phone. “Do you want to meet tonight?”

 

She smiled. “I’m already waiting at your place.” She swore she could hear his tongue click and the sound of his tongue licking his lips.

 

“Saucy little minx.” On this he hung up and Robin gave herself a last look in the mirror, sat on the couch with a glass of white wine and waited.

 

Barney entered his place, placing his keys on the counter near the doorway and finally got a look at her. His eyes grew three shades darker, making heat pool in her low stomach. She reached deep within her to find her voice. “Welcome home.”

 

He smiled wickedly and she shuddered. “Is that my negligee?” He asked, voice low and a tad humorous. She smiled brightly and nodded. “Well, I want it back.” She laughed freely as he jumped on her like a mad man, freeing himself of his suit vest.

 

Later that night, they found themselves on the kitchen floor, Barney’s head on a couch pillow, completely naked, and Robin on top of him, still wearing her half of her lingerie, feeding him the sushi one by one. He laughed when she went to lick a drop of soya sauce that fell on his chest

 

“Not that I am complaining, because I will never complain about you in sexy clothing feeding me incredibly delicious sushi, but what’s the occasion?” He took the time to slowly lick the fingers that were feeding him the new piece of sushi and she smiled amorously.

 

“Today, it has been an entire year of our monogamous relationship.” His head hit the pillow and he stared at her, blinking rapidly.

 

Then after some consideration about what she had just said, he sat up, leaving her straddling him and yelled: “Fuck! That’s an anniversary of some sort, isn’t it?”

 

She hit him on the shoulder for his language. “It’s o.k.” She assured him but it didn’t seem to reach its goal.

 

“It is _so_ not o.k. How can I keep failing like this?!” She cupped his square jaw in her hands, smiling.

 

“I don’t mind. I just wanted to do something to show that even after a whole year, I’m still hot as hell.” He looked deep within her eyes, looking for the lies, the sadness, and she knew that he found nothing when he finally relaxed under her.

 

He kissed her gently, his hands roaming on her back. “Well I do have a gift for you.” He added, his mouth leaving her. She raised her eyebrows. “I have been keeping it for sometimes now, wondering when I should give it to you.” She got really excited about that idea. She kissed him this time, showing her appreciation.

 

“What is it?” She was too dead curious to notice his eyes sparkling, his smile more adorable than before. One of his hands grabbed the back of her neck and his mouth slowly glided toward her ear. His breath was fire on her skin, making her feel as if she were hugging a volcano.

 

She shivered of desire and he whispered: “I love you, Robin Scherbatsky.”

 

**12321**

 

A love confession from Barney, followed by amazing sensual sex, should have been the highlight in Robin's life right now. How many woman had Barney slept with who would actually give an arm for this? Yet, it was from that night that everything went sour. They always had fights then and there. They were both incredibly stubborn and one track minded, but they always ended up kissing somewhat and everything was always good again. She realized now that the ends of these arguments were mostly happening because Barney would just fold out his cards, giving up his arguments.

 

Now that she knew, she started to resent his weakness and he resented her stubbornness, as she was never giving up anything for him. “I gave up so many things for you!” Robin yelled at him.

 

He scoffed. “Please! You never did. You have been nothing but completely selfish in this relationship. I may have my fair share of issues, but I do put you in front of anything else.”

 

Her laughter would sound cold and sinister even to her own ears. “Name one time you did something selfless just for me.” He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

 

Barney never did that. Crossing your arms is a defense mode and Robin knew that Barney never needed this. He was stronger than people gave him credit for, his armor more solid than anyone else she knew. “I left in the middle of a conference with the Chinese President because you called me saying you were sick.” He stated, matter-of-factly, one eyebrow rose up. “I was!”

 

He sighed dramatically. “You had the sniffles!”

 

All of their fights just continued in this direction, neither of them giving up. Robin started to notice that her skin was colored gray and smiling was becoming a rare occurrence. However, she refused to admit that this relationship was going down, until she realized that most fights started because of his love confession a month ago. She was the reason they were fighting so much. She wasn’t ready for Barney Stinson to be in love with her. She wasn’t ready for love and like always, she was running away. She used every excuse to fight with him and she would purposely push him away most of the time, even when he was making great efforts to please her. Then, she saw that the beautiful eyes of her lover had lost their light and she knew that she was killing him.

 

“This is not working anymore, isn’t it?” Her voice was just a whisper sliding between the loud sounds of the sushi restaurant.

 

Her eyes met his in a final glance. She saw love, but she also saw sadness. “Robin, I’m not happy.”

 

She felt something stuck in her throat; but didn’t let it bother her. He continued: “I mean, I love you, I really do.” He sighed. “I just feel that you are unhappy and that makes me unhappy.” She held her chopsticks so tightly that the cheap wood was marking the skin of her palm. “I guess we are destroying each other.”

 

She wanted to tell him that it wasn’t the case. That he was not destroying her, she was destroying them. She never once told him that she loved him, not once did she show how happy he was making her. She was just sabotaging this relationship because that’s what she does, all the time. She had so much to say and yet: “Then, I guess it’s the end.”

 

His eyes became many shades paler, making his face sadder. Her statement was so final that it hurt way much more than she had expected. “Let’s see it like not two people breaking up, but two friends coming back together.”

 

He looked unsure for a moment and then smiled a little. “Awesome.” They finished the rest of the lunch in silence and she stole glances at him and wondered if the awkward moments would really cease to exist.

 

The same day, they met their friends together at the pub and made the announcement. Lily had looked quite crestfallen by the news and Marshall’s eyes were full of sadness. Ted had a worried look on his face and tapped Barney on the shoulder. “Wanna play _Have you met Ted_?” Barney shrugged and agreed. They both went to the bar together.

 

Later that night, Marshall got the idea to go and fetch the fedora hat and the whip they had given Ted for his new teaching job at the university. “Let’s make Barney the new Indiana Jones!”

 

The three men turned sixteen in a matter of seconds and left, running upstairs, Marshall yelling: “Let’s whip some stuff in the alley!” Even though the door of MacLaren’s was closed, they could hear Barney’s laughter and Ted yelling: “You _so_ get me, buddy!”

 

Robin was left alone with a silent Lily and it scared her endlessly. She mostly nursed her drink, trying to ignore the insistent glance of her best friend. However, she could not ignore what she said. “I thought it would happen eventually.”

 

Robin was taken aback by Lily’s words and stared at her friend, a bit hurt. “I’m sorry?”

 

Lily sighed and adjusted her position on the booth, showing how uncomfortable she was. “I don’t mean it badly, Robin. It’s just that I could see that Barney was into this relationship way much more than you were.”

 

Robin scoffed, offended. “No. You are wrong.”

 

Lily made her motherly eyes and Robin’s thought of winning this staring contest flew away. “No, Honey. I’m not.”

 

These words made Robin feel sick, as if all of her feelings were battling to get out through her mouth. Lily grabbed her beer bottle and took a sip before saying: “I’ve known Barney for years and I have never seen him like this with a woman. He really tried his hardest there. You didn’t try as much; you know I’m not wrong.”

 

Robin lowered her eyes. “No, you’re not.” She sighed. “He tried with everything he’s got and I didn’t try at all.” She felt tears threatening to flow and she took a deep shaking breath. When she spoke, he voice was raw. “I just let things happen because a part of me always thought it wouldn’t last.” Her friend kindly grabbed her hand.

 

Lily knew her too well. Lily knew what was happening in her heart and it made her sad and angry. She had given up on this relationship before it had even begun. She had entered Barney’s life knowing that she would leave eventually and not once did she think it would last forever. They didn’t break up because they were making each other miserable, they had broken up because she never thought of it as something real. And if Barney ever realized this, she would shoot herself.

 

**12321**

 

_To be continued…_


	2. Part two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!  
> I'm sorry for the long delay. I was waiting for the correction, but sadly my betareader was too busy and stopped correcting.
> 
> It probably has a lot of mistakes, so I'm sorry about this.
> 
> Part is already done, I only need to re-read it.
> 
> Please enjoy!

GLITTER IN THE AIR

PART TWO

It took 24 hours for Barney to go back to his old lothario ways. It was like they never were together and the year they spent together never existed. It killed Robin. It had occurred to her that it may have been his way to move on, but it didn’t make it any less painful. Then, around 3 months later, something quite unexpected happened; she met Anita. She was a gorgeous woman that came for an interview at her show. She wrote a book for women to understand and use their power. She explained that women should use the word “no” as much as possible to empowered themselves from men.

For some unknown reasons, Robin ended up telling Anita all her frustrations and pain about Barney and Anita was very empathic to her cause. “One word from you Robin and I will give him a lesson.” She refused at first, but in the evening, after Barney and the guys started acting like morons, she gave her a call.

She admitted that she did love watch Barney squirmed to get Anita into his bed. Of course, Ted had read Anita’s book and told everything to Barney. The Casanova decided to use this at his advantage. 17 dates before sex was utterly ridiculous for him and he thought he could play Anita at her own the game.

While Barney was doing everything in his power to nail the beautiful writer, Don asked her out. “Say what?” They were still seated in front of the, now off, camera in the studio. His smile was confident.

“I said; let’s go on a date. You are not seeing your mysterious geek anymore, I don’t see why not.” She saw many reasons why not and then she remembered Barney talking about his latest conquest in a very rude way and she agreed at Don’s request. “O.K. Let’s go on a date.”

Marshall was elated by this, for he had a huge men crush on Don. Robin wasn’t so sure if she was ready to go back out there, but it was better than staying single and sad. That night, she put on a sexy, slutty red dress for her date and Ted complimented her nicely. Then, he mentioned that Barney had a superdate with Anita tonight. He explained that he helped him create the greatest date ever for Barney to get laid tonight and for a reason that came from deep inside of her; she went to changed back in jeans, cancelled her date with Don and went to the shooting range.

Of course, it was at this moment that Lily chose to tell Ted and Marshall that she was still in her mourning period of her relationship with Barney and that the three of them had been acting like big jerks. For three months, she hid herself and cried in private. She cried more than she never did for a past relationship before, her heart full of regrets. Feeling like total dickheads, Marshall and Ted, with Lily, went to tell everything to a still oblivious Barney and it was how her ex-lover ended up coming to see her, while she was armed. She had to give him the credit for ignoring the danger.

He made his presence known by a simple hello that was a pitch higher than usual. She threw him a mean look and his expression was the same as a kid that was going to pee in his pants. She shot a couple more bullets, until the barrel of her gun was empty. Unsatisfied, she yelled some nonsense and threw the gun on the counter in front of her. When she turned to look, Barney was still there, his fingers in his ears, his expression still showing fear like a young kid.

He pouted, trying to gain her sympathy. It grandly failed and he noticed. “You seem upset. Lily said you have been upset a lot since--”

She cut him. “Of course I’m upset Barney! How do you think it made me feel to hear about all your conquests? It made me feel like I was just another number to you!” He swore to her she wasn’t, his blue eyes were the shade of honesty and yet, she was still angry. “And now you are going to this great date with Anita, when I never got treated that way.”

He admitted that he didn’t know it had been so hard on her. “I knew I was bad being a boyfriend, but I had no idea I’d be so much worse at being an ex-boyfriend.” She wanted to tell him that he hadn’t been a bad boyfriend, but she didn’t have the heart to be nice to him.

He offered her a peace flag, asking what he can do to make it up to her. She randomly threw out her first idea: “Don’t sleep with Anita.”

Yet again, he didn’t miss a beat. He never did. “Done.”

She sniggered. “Barney, of course you are going to sleep with her, why else would you take her on a superdate?” He looked at her, honesty shining in his eyes. “She is not going on a superdate Robin, you are.”

It was how Barney gave her the date she secretly always wanted, with Don. Her night had been magical and Don charmed her marvellously. She gloated to her friends later on about it all and she acted like she didn’t notice Barney’s eyes, taking a shade of blue that she knew was sadness.

***

It was the beginning of 2010 and it had been a marvelous month dating Don. The man she had thought utterly annoying was in fact, quite charming and funny. Marshall and Lily had already met him and loved him, and so did Ted. There was the slight misunderstanding that Ted was gay, but since Robin was living with her ex-boyfriend, she had preferred to let the misunderstanding continue to exist. Don would definitely feel uncomfortable with it, so she kept her past relationship with Ted a secret. Until of course, Lily opened her mouth.

“It’s really great that you are fine with Robin living with her ex-boyfriend. The fact that you understand their friendship is very mature of you, Don.”

Let’s just say that it hadn’t been an easy conversation after that. Don did manifest his fears to her later on. She reassured him with confidence that Ted and her were history and now, she saw him as her best friend and they would never go on that road again. Even Ted, the kind friend he was, swore to Don that the train had long past and gone. When her boyfriend accepted it all with understanding and class, she thought everything would be smooth sailing from now on. She couldn’t have been more wrong. It seemed that even though Don looked self-assured and confident, he was actually quite insecure when it came to relationship and the phenomena that was Barney Stinson hit him hard where it hurt.

One night, she brought Don with her to MacLaren’s to meet with Marshall, Ted and Lily. She carefully orchestrated this night with a night Barney, who had not met Don yet (and hopefully never will), would be out of town for a business trip. She didn’t really know herself why she didn’t want Don to meet Barney, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that it would be way much worse than Don meeting Ted.

The night had advanced beautifully and everyone was having a great time, when the door of the pub opened grandly, letting Barney in, oozing with charm and swagger. He simply signaled Carl for his usual drink, which the bartender returned by a thumb up, and glided magically over them, grabbed a chair with one hand to put at the end of the booth at Ted side and his other went for Ted shoulder.

“Hey there, Theodore!” They all hid their smiles; while Ted muttered under his breathe “Don’t call me Theodore.”

Barney ignored it with a laugh and his eyes felt on Don, his charming smile still dancing on his lips. “Didn’t know you guys made the news from here tonight.” Don, bless him, just laughed at the joke. After all, he still had no idea who had entered the bar.

The anchorman kindly showed him his hand to shake. “Don.” Barney shook his hand with a firm handshake, his business handshake, and let it go to catch his drink. “Barney.” Don subtly looked around, probably wondering what connection they had with this guys.

Lily kindly explained it. “Barney Stinson is our friend, although we don’t know why.” Barney gave her a puppy look, but Ted, forever the wingman, put a hand on the blond shoulder. “Barney makes our nights legendary.” 

Barney smiled warmly, impressed by his best friend attention. No adult should be so openly happy about a demonstration of friendship, yet this childish behavior of Barney was something all the gang kind of adored about him. Robin guessed that Ted wanted to Barney to feel at his place, even though she brought along her boyfriend. Compassion between exes or something similar, she guessed.

“Talking about legendary nights,” intersected Marshall, “weren’t you supposed to be on a flight for work right now? You did mention a strip club visit in a foreign country.”

Barney bent his head to the right, playing with his glass. “The North Korean closed down their illegal organs donors’ hospital without us going there, so no trip.”

There had been a silence on the booth until everyone exploded; “What do you do for a living?”

Barney drank his scotch and scoffed. “Please.” Then he stood. “Next round on me.” And left for the bar.

They all sighed, Don wondering about what just happened. “He works with the North Koreans?” They all shrugged. “Who knows?” Said Ted, “Barney is a bigger mystery than Bigfoot.” Marshall went crazy on that statement, saying the great Bigfoot was real and they all started to argue like 11 years old.

Barney came back ten minutes later with a platter; a beer for Ted, a sparkling drink for Lily, a weird and girly drink that Marshall completely adores and a scotch for her.

He passed a bottle of beer to Don: “Just got you a beer, didn’t know what you like.” 

Just like that, Don was touched, moved even. Barney had charmed him. Robin was fuming for some reasons. She didn’t like Barney impressing her boyfriend. She wanted Don to hate Barney, to find him stupid, weird and other bad things guys think about other guys, not have a man crush on him. But then, it shouldn’t really surprise her, everyone had a crush on Barney at one point. She guessed it was a family trait, since even his brother, James, was very loved and popular with everyone. Barney’s mom had been quite the flower girl in the past, loved by many men. It was the Stinson gene.

Barney sat on his chair, smug smile on his lips. “Oh and for me, the number of the gorgeous Lebanese girl at the bar!” He showed them the paper. Marshall and Ted gave him the fist-bum, Ted muttering: “Respect.”

Barney theatrically put up his finger in the air. “And! The number of her gorgeous twins for Ted.” He glided another paper under Ted nose, while Lily and Marshall were “aww-ing”. 

Ted’s eyes filled with fake tears, his mouth trembling. “Dude, you are the best bro ever.”

Don was laughing, enjoying himself. However, Robin was on her guard, waiting for the big bomb to launch. For an hour or two, everything was fine. Barney was telling his disgusting stories about his sex life, Marshall and Lily making puns about their marriage and Ted was being Ted.

When Robin finally let her guard down, enjoying herself, Marshall had to open his big fat mouth. “Really Robin, is Barney sex swing that amazing? Because I think he is exaggerating right now.”

They all grew cold in an instant around her, Marshall completely shocked by what just got out of his mouth, except Barney, completely obvious. “Please! Robin is one of the few that actually rocked that swing. Once, her legs were--” Ted cut him loudly. “Who wants another drink? I could use one!” 

Barney stood up, always eager to please his best friend. “I’ll go get it.” And he left.

There was another silence at the table. “Your ex-boyfriend Barney is this Barney?” Don looked at her, shocked. He seemed a bit angry too, but Robin couldn’t tell for sure. “Yeah…”

Don shook his head, like to get rid of a fly hanging around. “I can’t believe it.”

Her friends didn’t know where to look and she had to admit that she didn’t know either. “I expected a geeky, ugly guy, speaking about comics. Not a young Hugh Hefner with too much swagger.” Her three friends exchanged looks.

“A geeky and ugly guy?” Asked Lily.

“Speaking about comics?” added Marshall.

“Haaaave you met Barney?” demanded Ted, imitating the one in question.

Don sighed. “When they were dating she said he was a kind and brilliant man.” Everyone’s faces showed understanding.

“It did seem like she was talking about Marshall there.” Said Ted, wise-ass-ly. Lily hit his arm and Marshall shouted his indignation, but Robin ignored them.

“I don’t see what difference it makes, Don. Barney’s still my ex; either he is a geek or a disgusting sex bunny. It doesn’t change anything.” Don stared at her. Marshall added: “And he is a geek, just a closet one.” Lily and Ted actively shook their heads in agreements, trying to put water on the fire.

“Yes, a very charming geek that you see all the time. I’m not sure I like it, Robin.” She showed her surprise. “You were alright with me living with Ted! Why being friend with Barney is any different.” 

He stood up. “Yeah, well that’s different.” 

She grew angrier. “No it’s not. You heard him; he went back to his womanizing ways and there is nothing left of our past relationship.” She explained in vain.

He grabbed his coat, showing his intention of leaving. She stood up too and asked. “What is so wrong about this?!” 

Don put his coat on and grabbed his keys in his pocket. “When Ted entered the bar tonight, you didn’t smile at him like no one else existed.” Robin just stood there; gobsmacked “I thought you were just charmed by him; like everyone else here. I mean Ted giggled at some point!” Ted, offended, muttered that he did not, but Lily and Marshall were throwing him knowing looks. “But that’s not it. You dated him. You have history. That’s different!” Don excused himself and left like the wind.

At that moment, Barney came back at the booth. “Hey! Where did my new friend just left?” Robin actually growled and hit Barney really hard in the arm. He yelped helplessly and she left, angry.

“What did I do again?”

***

The next day, at work, Don blatantly ignored her until the end of the broadcast. Then, he asked her for a cup of coffee and she accepted. They sat in front of each other in silence for a moment and then he launched the bomb: “Do you still have feeling for Barney?”

Her sip of coffee got stuck in her throat. “What? No! No, no, no, no, no. Why – Why would you ask that? No, no, no, no. No.” Don, normally quite confident, stared at his cup of coffee awkwardly. “It’s just a feeling I’ve got.”

Robin stared, dumbfounded. “I mean, when I realized that Ted was your ex, I was fine, because I saw that everything was gone for you, but Barney...” 

He silenced himself, leaving Robin hanging. She hated that. “Barney what?” 

His eyes met hers. “There is just something that seems to hang it in air.” 

Yeah, fucking glitter; that’s what, she thought, bitterly.

Robin wasn’t completely stupid. Even now, when Barney was there, something felt different. Although he wasn’t surrounded by a storm of blinding glitter anymore, sometimes she would find one left on his shoulder, on his hand, kissing his cheekbone. She really did have a thing for his cheekbones. But Robin figured out that it was a normal reaction after letting go of an addiction.

“Don, when you asked me out, you knew I had left my boyfriend recently.” 

He sighed. “I know. I just didn’t expect him to be so charming and a stupid part of me thought that I was the winner in this.”

She held his hands. “You are. I’m dating you, not Barney.”

He squeezed her hand and smiled. “I guess so.” She felt him warming up to her again. She really liked Don and a part of her thought she could love him too. She wasn’t ready to lose him.

Then, he asked her: “Move in with me, then.”

She was taken aback by this and her first reaction was to run away, but she remembered the pain she caused to Ted and Barney when she did so, she remembered her feelings for Don, how much she liked him, how much she wanted to be strong.

“O.K., I will.” He smiled grandly and bent over the table to kiss her. She was making the right decision, she told herself. She wanted this and it made her happy.

***

A month later, after settling herself at Don’s apartment, she received a call from a broadcasting station in Chicago, offering her a dream job. She talked about it with her friends; Ted was the first one to make a valid argument.

“I don’t want you to go away, but it’s your dream and I think that if you want to, you should.” Lily and Marshall agreed but kept mentioning how much they would miss her. It touched her in an extraordinary way.

Later that night, she told Barney. “Chicago? Whoa.”

He didn’t seem quite enthusiastic, but so had been the others. He nursed his gin tonic, without much looking at her. “I think I will take it.” She didn’t know what she expected from him, but that had not been on the list.

He smiled. “You should, Canada. Live the American dream.”

The next morning, she called the station. She was going to accept the offer when a picture of her and Don together grabbed her attention. Not once, she gave up work for someone, her ambitions always being her priority. But this thing with Don, it was different. This time around, she came stronger into this relationship and she could make it work. For the first time in her life, Robin chose love over her ambitions. “I’m sorry, but I must decline. I am very grateful that you thought of me.”

The same night, she told her friends. Lily was ecstatic. “I can’t believe Robin Scherbatsky chose a man over work, you grew up so fast!” Robin shied herself away, telling Lily to shut up. Ted bought her a glass of scotch, telling her he was proud of her. Barney just stayed silence, a shadow of a smile on his face, Marshall whispering things she couldn’t hear into his ear.

The same night, she came back to her and Don’s apartment and he was waiting for her. “Chicago offered me a job today.” He announced.

She thought everything was crashing down, that her sacrifice had been a horrible mistake, until he said: “I won’t take it if you ask me not to.” 

She blinked. “Sorry?” He helped her sit on the sofa with him, holding her hand.

“I love you Robin and if you love me enough to make us work, I won’t go.” She didn’t miss a beat, Barney taught her that. “Of course I do.” He smiled.

“So I don’t have to be scared that Barney Stinson will come back to steal you away?” He was half laughing, but she knew it was a real insecurity for him. She didn’t want to lose him, didn’t want her sacrifice to go for nothing, so out of sheer protection, she lied.

“Barney and me, it never was as amazing and mind-blowing as you seem to imagine. There was no passion; no feelings really, just chemistry. It has nothing on you and me.” He smiled, kissed her and then, everything was fine.

No one knew and no one had to know. No matter how much she thought that what she had with Barney was a once in a lifetime relationship, no one had to know. He burned her, marked her, made her his in ways that she never thought possible and maybe, if she didn’t chicken out of this at the very beginning, maybe she would still be in flames, deep into his embrace, melting the air around her. Again, that is something no one had to know.

***

Even if she loved Don, she really hated her job and even sharing it with him didn’t make it better. She told him her decision to try to find something else and he showed her his support. She was flying on a cloud when she announced the news to her friends.

“Have you quit yet?” asked Marshall. She said no, she wanted to see if she could find something first. “I know World Wide News is looking for researchers.” mentioned Barney. Her friends started to get all excited. Ted was all about coaxing her to try for it. “I know it is not a glamorous job but it’s a stepping stone. Once you have the feet in the place, you can only go up.”

The next day, she sent her résumé to WWN and in less than 24 hours, they offered her an interview. She put on her best pencil skirt, her best blouse and her most painful red heels. She walked in there with more confidence than she actually possessed, met the director and, of course, her past co-start, the pervert Sandy River.

Before leaving her first job for Tokyo, Sandy River had been doing the News at the same station as her. He was mostly a sex-obscene man that had no soul whatsoever, but Robin knew how to deal with him and River long forgot about sleeping with her. The director told her that one of the reasons they called her was because Sandy recognized her. “If you are good enough for Sandy River, you are good enough for me.”

The director conducted a very professional interview and after an hour, he gave her the job, starting in two weeks. She stood up and shook his hand. She was utterly elated. Like Ted said, it wasn’t a job in front of the camera, but it was the first step to enter in a serious news station. She was about to leave when the director stopped her.

“Oh and Miss Scherbatsky?” She turned around, hand on the doorknob. “Could you tell Barney Stinson I can’t wait for his call? The steak he promised me is calling my name.”

He had thrown these words like he was talking about the weather. Yet, Robin’s hand grasped the doorknob so hard that her palm had become red. She stuck a frozen smile on her lips. “You know Barney?” 

He laughed. “I met him yesterday when I went to the GNB. He insisted to take care of my things. Extraordinary man, Stinson. You got a good friend there.” 

She laughed on automatic. “Yes, I do.” She left the building fuming, her one track mind focused on hitting Barney Stinson.

She entered the GNB building like a fury and she met Marshall in the elevator. “Robin! How was the interview?” She stuck her teeth together and whistled like a snake. “Got the job.” Marshall stepped back. Funny how such a giant man could be so easily intimidated.

“Then why do you look like you are gonna shoot a moose?” She chuckled. “Oh I’m gonna shoot something, alright.”

The elevator stopped at Barney’s floor and she got off. Marshall followed her, three steps behind. She moved past Barney’s secretary without a word and opened the glass door of his office dramatically. He was sitting at his desk, Bluetooth in his ear, talking in Korean, while looking at some files in his hands; his feet were crossed at the top of his desk. He glanced at her for not even a second before returning his eyes to his files, foreign sounds rolling on his tongues. She waited. For 5 long minutes, she waited, standing in the middle of his office, glaring at him like a mad woman. Marshall was standing at the door, waiting for the show. Robin knew that tonight, everyone will know what will happen in this room, but she was far too gone to care.

Barney hung up, took his Bluetooth out of his ear and stood up. “Robin! How did your interview go?” She whistled again, like in the elevator. “Oh I think you know how it went.”

Barney opened his mouth the say something, but no sound came out. He gave a look at Marshall behind her and in a very high pitched voice, he said: “No idea what you’re talking about.” He looked like a 5 years old boy that did something in secret and had been discovered. Robin always thought this part of Barney, the child part, was adorable, but not today.

She stepped up to him her face almost touching his, he squealed. “You bribed the director of the station to give me a job, Barney!” The “Ooooh!” of Marshall was heard in every corner of Barney’s office. They both turned they eyes toward him and if eyes could kill...

Marshall uncomfortably changed his weight from one foot to the other. “Sorry, sorry. Please don’t mind me.”

Robin brought back her cold glare to Barney and he smiled awkwardly. “I did not.” She continued to glare, her knuckles cracked when she made a fist. Barney swallowed soundly. “Fine. I might have suggested that I knew the perfect woman for his station.” 

Robin stepped back, angry as hell. “Suggested? Barney, you took charge of his money and offered him a lunch at a steak house.”

Marshall chuckled behind them “Nice play, Dude.” Again, if Robin’s eyes could kill. 

“I mean; Dude! Come on, that is just wrong!” rephrased Marshall, a bit intimidated.

Robin turned her attention to Barney again when Marshall intersected himself in again: “Just to be sure, what kind of steak are we talking about?”

Without looking at Marshall, his eyes transfixed on her, Barney answered: “The braised T-bone at the restaurant down the street.” Robin could hear Marshall sighted. “Man, that is a nice steak...”

Robin sighted exasperated and started to walk around the office. “Seriously? This is what we are talking about? Steak? Marshall, he bribed someone to give me a job. Can’t you lawyer him or something?”

Barney cut in, angry at his turn, the little boy gone into hiding deep within him. “So what? You wanted the job, you’ve got it! No need to say thanks.” She growled something no one understood.

“I can find something without your help, Barney!” She had her pride. The last time she was looking for a job, he’s the one that found it for her.

It may not have been the dream job, but because of him she was able to stay in New York and even though, no one watched her show, it gave her great opportunities to test the field of journalism. She had so much to be thankful toward him already and she felt completely helpless in how to return it.

“NYC is a city of connections! It’s how it works here. I just asked him to give you an interview; you did the rest yourself, Scherbatsky.”

Her name sounded like bells in her ears. When he says it, for some reasons, her entire body vibrate like instrument. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself.

“I am sorry that you don’t like what I did, but I just wanted you to be happy.” Her eyes opened fast, her gaze studying him. His blue eyes were electric and brow furrowed. She saw glitter on his eyelashes and on the tip of elegant nose.

She coldly responded: “You don’t have anything to do with my happiness anymore, Barney.” On this, she left, pushing Marshall out of the way and walked straight to the elevator. The doors closed behind her and she steadied herself on the wall. All she wanted now was to go back to Don’s arms and forget every thought about the glitter on Barney’s cheekbone. She didn’t let herself questioned why.

***

“Robin, about that Nora girl that we had lunch with last Monday...” Robin put her magazine down on the sofa near her and gave her attention to Don. “What about Nora?”

He came near her with a glass of martini and sat with her, his arms around her waist. “Maybe we should introduce her to Barney.”

Robin chocked out on her martini. “I thought you liked her!” 

He laughed. “I did. And it’s time your friend got into a serious relationship and I think Nora would be perfect.”

Robin put the martini on the coffee table and looked at her boyfriend like he was crazy. “Barney doesn't to do serious if he doesn't want to Don. He has always been like this and I personally don’t care if he likes it. So does everybody else.”

Don sighed heavily, put his own martini glass near hers and took Robin hands. “He had a serious relationship in the past; with you. Since then he just goes around. You understand why it makes me uncomfortable, right?”

Robin took her hands away and stood up, grabbing her glass. “Wrong. I don’t.”

Don stood up in front of her. “I’m scared that he is somehow waiting for you to come around and if he was dating another woman seriously, I wouldn't.”

Robin sighed, deep in thought. She crossed her arms in front of her and looked at her boyfriend. She knew all about his insecurities toward Barney, it’s not like he hid them, but after almost a year of dating, she thought he had moved past it. Apparently she was wrong.

“If I do set him with Nora, he might just whore his way into her pants and leave.” Don smiled and took her by the waist. “He might not.” 

She sighed again. “I guess if I ask him to be gentleman-like” Don’s lips tickled her neck and she found herself promising him that she will try to set a date for Nora and Barney.

The next day, she took Barney away from the others and frankly asked him. “I work with this girl, Nora, and she is looking for a serious but fun relationship.” Barney left eyebrow lifted. “And you are saying this to me because...” 

She gave him her reporter smile, all rehearsed. “Don’t you want to meet her?” 

He scoffed, looking at the ceiling. She heard him say something like “you must be kidding me” but she simply grabbed his forearm to get his attention again. “Come on Barney, it wouldn’t be so bad to try to get a real girlfriend for once. And if you really don’t like her, just don’t call her back.”

He stared at her for longs minutes. “Why is it so important to you?” She bit her lower lips, searching for a credible lie. “I just think Nora is awesome and she deserves someone awesome.” Barney took a deep breath, looking at his scotch.

“Fine, I’ll meet her.” Robin smiled at him. He pointed his index at her. “But if I don’t like her, I nail her and never call back, deal?” She flashed another of her reporter smile. “Deal.”

She didn’t really know what she expected of all of this, but the night of the date, Barney came back at MacLaren’s by himself. When they all asked how his date was, he shrugged. “Nice girl, but didn’t work.” 

Lily and Marshall sighed. “Why?” Barney stared at the gold liquid in his glass for a second. “I met someone else two weeks ago.”

Everyone froze in an instant, looking at Barney like he was possessed by some sort of alien. Robin thoughts weren’t making any senses for a second. “Sorry, what? Someone? Who?” 

She could see that Barney was debating whether to talk about it or not when he sighed, in resolution. “Her name is Quinn; she works at the Lusty Leopard.” 

In one swoop of conflicted emotions, everyone yelled together: “She’s a stripper?!”

Barney calmed them down, gesturing to them to sit back and relax with his hands. “Yes, yes, a stripper.” 

Lily made her “I’m your mother so listen to me” eyes. “This is such a bad idea, Barney.” He shrugged but didn’t say a word. They somehow always joked about that fact that Barney would probably ended up tied down to a stripper, but to actually see him dating one was a completely different story.

“She is pretty and funny. She has a brain and she likes me for me. We clicked. That’s all there is, guys.” Marshall took a heavy deep breathe. “You’re really considering a serious relationship with her.” Barney nodded and took a sip of scotch. They all looked at each other, wondering what exactly to say next, but Ted simply changed the subject and the conversation about Barney’s new girl was past for the night.

Three days later, Barney introduced Quinn to the group. Don was present too and he seemed quite happy with Barney’s relationship. “Look at them Robin, they’re in love. Told you; that was all he needed.”

Robin flashed him her journalist smile. Inside, she was quite conflicted. What Don had said, a couple of weeks ago, wasn’t wrong. She had been the only serious relationship he had. They shared something that Barney never shared with anyone after that and for some unknown reasons, Robin loved that. She loved that she had been the One, the special woman that tied down the Casanova of NYC. 

But now, there was Quinn and God, she was pretty. Honey hair, sparkling eyes, stunning smile, she was everything a guy could wish for. She even promised Barney that she might consider to stop stripping if they relationship was really working. She was freaking perfect and Robin hated that, because Robin herself was starting to like her.

The most surprising thing, though, came the next day after meeting Quinn. Nora, whom Barney had only one date with, came to see her. She awkwardly said hello and asked Robin if she had news of Barney. “Saw him last night, actually. Why are you asking?”

Nora stirred her coffee, without really looking at Robin. “Did he mention me?” Robin calmly put down her cup of coffee on the counter and tried to look at Nora in the eyes.

“Nora, what are you not telling me? Did Barney act like a jerk last time? Because, if he did - ” She interrupted Robin by loudly saying no. She got a bit embarrassed and looked around to see if anyone was listening.

“Look, Robin. After diner, he brought me home, told me I was a great girl and all that but he was kind of interested in someone else.” Robin silently mouthed “oh” and grabbed her coffee for a sip.

Not really what she had expected of Barney. She knew he could be a gentleman, but only with her. Or so she thought. “But I really like him and I have been sending text messages and phoning him.” Robin almost spited out the coffee in her mouth. “Say what?!”

Nora sighed. “I know, bit pathetic. I just can’t help it. And the fact that he is so nice about that I’m almost stalking him is not helping me.” 

Robin eyebrows met her hair line. “He is nice?” He was nice about a stalker? Impossible. Barney hated clingy girl more than anything else in the world. He liked them independent, like her… or Quinn.

“He answered all my calls and my messages. Told me how nice I was and I deserve to interest myself in a man that would like me.” Robin felt like she was going to be sick any minute now. Nora continued to talk about how much she liked Barney but Robin wasn’t listening anymore.

When she finally got away from the woman, she called Ted on her speed dial. “Hey Robin! I’m a bit busy right now, can I call you back?” 

She took a deep breath and said: “I think Barney is on acid.” 

Ted dropped the phone.

***

“I’m not on acid, Ted!” Barney didn’t know if he had to be offended or cracking up laughing, Robin could see it. He was stuck between two emotions, his smile twitching. Ted shook his head and made the “father knows best” expression.

“Robin made some compelling arguments, buddy.” Robin smiled smugly, while Barney rolled his eyes. He took an instant to signaled Carl for a drink and returned his attention to his best friend.

“Ted, I am not being nice to a clingy woman because I’m tripping, I’m being nice because she works with Robin.” There was a moment a silence, followed by a moment of clarity and Ted “aaahhh”, while Robin bit her lower lips guiltily.

“So really, you are nice just for me to not receive hell at work?” She had to ask. He gave her his “obviously” face that she always found crazily adorable. “Well, duh! And if you could do something about this, I would appreciate. Not only is she slowly making me crazy, Quinn ain’t very happy either.”

Ted hissed, slouching on the booth. “An angry stripper? Not sure I want to see that...” 

Barney whistled a small laugh. “It’s like a cat fight, but with tigers.”

Robin could see Ted struggling with how exactly he should react to this analogy, when he breathed in and finally decided himself. “Yeah, no... It’s hot.” And he put up his hand in the air for a high five that Barney happily returned.

The blond returned his attention to Robin, his baby blue eyes begging her. “Please, do something. It’s your fault I’m in this shackle. She’s smothering me more than my own girlfriend.”

Robin tried to not tick at the word girlfriend and took a sip of her drink. “Of course, I’ll make it clear.”

Barney sighed of relief and lie back on the booth and returning the conversation about acid. Barney made a comment that maybe the moment they are living right now doesn’t actually exist and his nineteen years old self is still tripping in the college basement. Obviously, Ted went crazy scientist with a bunch of time travel theories and Robin stopped listening, mostly just bathing in the moment with her two friends.

The next day, she was on a mission. The night before, she had mentioned the stalker- ish attitude of Nora to Don and he simply shrugged it off. “It will pass.”

It probably would, she knew, but Barney hated clingy women and he had tendencies to do over-dramatic. He had been kind for an entire week for her sake and she had to add something else in the enormous bag of things she was redeemable toward Barney Stinson. So she entered her office, bought two cup of delicious coffee and went to Nora’s desk.

“Hey!” Nora smiled at her sweetly. That’s what Nora was in general; sweet. She always wondered why Don had thought about her for Barney and even now, looking at sweet Nora, Robin couldn’t see it either.

She gave the brunette the coffee like an offering. “Nora, we need to talk.” 

She didn’t say anything and just took a sip of her cup. She looked down, playing with the rim. “It’s about Barney, isn’t it?” Robin sat on her desk, but didn’t speak a word. “I’m annoying him too much.” 

Robin took a deep breath. “He has a serious girlfriend now, Nora. She doesn’t appreciate your attention too much.”

Nora put the cup of coffee on her desk in front of her. “I do put him in an uncomfortable situation, don’t I?” 

Robin wasn’t good at showing support and comfort; that was her friends’ things. She tried to remember what Lily or Ted would do in a moment like this and she shyly put her hand on Nora shoulder. “Let him go, Nora. He’s not worth the trouble.” 

She smiled sadly and looked at Robin in the eyes. “But with him, the trouble doesn’t seem so much troubling.”

Robin physically back down as much as mentally and she almost tripped on her own feet. She felt lost in a bad black and white flashback of the alley behind MacLaren’s, surrounded by broken televisions. “I like you, Robin” would ringed like bells in her ears. For a fraction of seconds she was lost but found her balance back again and focused her eyes on Nora.

“Listen Nora, Barney is not exactly how you think he is. He is showing only his good side right now.” 

She laughed with humour. “I suppose you are right. I’m sorry for putting you in this situation Robin. I’ll let go.” And so she did. Nora never called Barney again. But she would see him again.

***

It was 2011 now and soon the first year anniversary of Don and her relationship. Robin didn’t expected much and actually saw that day like any other day. She supposed Don wouldn’t care much either, but then, he told her he reserved a great restaurant for their night. “It might not be as great as your superdate, but it is a very good restaurant.”

She never had the heart to tell him that the superdate idea came from Ted and Barney. “Mostly Ted, really. I don’t have a bone of romance in me Scherbatsky, only a boner.” Barney had joked. She knew it untrue, but she never mentioned anything.

The night of the diner, she came home early to get ready and Don was already putting his suit on. He welcomed her with a warm kiss and she really did think this would be a great night. No one needs expensive sushi, negligee and wild sex in the kitchen. Her night with Don would be calm and romantic, like two adults who are in love. But then, Don Tedded out; an engagement ring appear in her champagne flute. Last time, even though it hadn’t been for her, she completely freaked out and went crazy or the poor Ted. She wasn’t 27 anymore and she had to act rational.

“Is that an engagement ring?” She was secretly hoping for another waiter screw up, but Don smiled brightly at her. “Robin, would you marry me?”

No screw up possible there, it was for her alright. “I... I don’t know what to say...”

Her boyfriend saw her discomfort and took her hand. “Robin, we are already living together. I gave up a job for you. I think it’s the natural next step.”

She was mostly frozen in time. Seriously not knowing what to do or say. Of course, he wasn’t wrong, marriage would be the next step, and yet, her fear of commitment was yelling her to run as far as possible.

“Listen, don’t answer now. Take sometimes to think about it and answer me later.” The diner continued in silence for a moment, until Don tried to light up the atmosphere.

The next night, at MacLaren’s, she took her decision. She was with Marshall, Lily and Ted, discussing what they should do for Barney’s birthday party. The man himself had given them few legendary ideas, but they weren’t going for them. “Seriously, a party in Cuba? Does he think we’re all rich like him?” had Marshall said. Then, the rest of the conversation derived to “what does Barney really do for a living.”

Since Marshall worked for GNB too and Ted had just been appointed to design the new building by Barney himself, she and Lily thought they would discover the mystery but they both insisted that it was even more a mystery then before.

“I mean, I work for GNB and Ted is an architect appointed by GNB, but Barney is working for Atrucell, so our work doesn’t really collide with his.”

Lily asked what Atrucell was and both of them shrugged. “All we know it’s that they have building everywhere in the world and they buy many important bank or industries. What for? We don’t know.”

Ted mentioned that the office he was designing for Barney was pretty big, bigger than the one he already had, and it was on a top floor. “Why such a big office? Mystery.”

Robin was going to pitch in her own theory when Barney and a lovely Quinn entered the pub. The four of them randomly picked a lame subject, but Barney didn’t even notice. What Robin noticed, though, was the enormous smiles of their faces.

“We are getting married!” Quinn voice was more excited than loud but Robin lost her earring for a second, a whistle in her brain.

She had to blink away the surprise before finally standing up and congratulated the couple. Barney explained how much he wanted to Quinn to stop stripping and he thought it was time to make a man of himself. “I asked and she said yes!” Lily and Marshall were asking a tone of questions about the future wedding, but Quinn stopped them.

“We decided to take this engagement slow. First I need to move in with Barney. We were thinking maybe at next Christmas, in a year.”

Ted went crazy, saying weddings should be in summer so the bride shines more. Lily and Marshall shushed him and went crazy at their turn about how romantic a Christmas wedding would be. After all, Marshall has always been in love with Christmas. “You could have a real life Rudolf! I love Rudolf.”

The night went on and on, without Robin saying a word. Ted finally had a great idea. “Quinn, if you’re moving in with Barney, does that mean you super great apartment is free to rent?” Quinn showed curiosity mixed with her natural wickedness. “Yeah, pretty much.”

Ted jumped off his seat: “I’ll take it!” Everyone were a bit shocked at first, wondering why he wanted to leave his beloved apartment on top of MacLaren’s. “Lily and Marshall are miserable living on Coney Island. They can come back to the apartment and I’ll take Quinn’s. I need a change anyway.”

Of course, Marshall was moved to tears for Ted “sacrifice” and Ted smiled kindly to his friend. He had thought about for a while and it was exactly what he wanted. Since that moment, upstairs became Marshall and Lily’s and Ted moved near Central Park.

The rest of the night, they all celebrated everything that had happen that night and for a moment, Robin forgot her sadness. Much later, it was just her sitting at the booth with her scotch, the others gone for the night. That was until Barney sat up in front of her.

“Spit it out Scherbatsky, what’s with the sad puppy eyes.” She was taken aback that he had come back. She was going to ask how come he was there, we he cut her with a swing of his hand.

“Saw that you were under the weather earlier.” She smiled affectionately at him. He told her to just get it out, he was there to listen, but he will laugh about it, if it was stupid. She should be angry at that, but she knew Barney would anyway.

She finished her glass in one shot and just threw it. “Don asked me to married him last night.”

Barney eyebrows shot up to his hairline. “Will you?”

Robin looked around her, nervous. “He told me to think about it.” 

He didn’t miss a beat, obviously. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

Her blue eyes finally met his and she could still see it, the remnants of glitter on his cheekbone and deep in his blue iris. She could feel the warm pressure he had on her heart.

She had always found Barney attractive, even when she was dating Ted. He was tall with a broad chest and strong arms; the kind of physic Robin always liked. She never liked blond, thinking it made them look girlie, but on Barney it was sexy. In a crowed of dark haired men, he looked fresh and he would shine blindly, his blue eyes staring at woman were like net they couldn’t help to jump into. His smile, either honest or crooked, was creating butterflies in her body and his voice, when a whisper was low and animal, making her body heat rise up. Simply put, Barney was a pretty boy with an animalistic sex appeal that could melt the iceberg in Titanic. Really, it was ridiculous how pretty he was. Man shouldn’t be pretty and she shouldn’t like them to be so, yet Barney had very manly manners that surrounded that prettiness and Robin always found it attractive.

She was so focusing on his pretty eyes, with his pretty smile that he had to wave a hand in front of her face to get her back on earth. She shouldn’t think like this about someone else than Don and she automatically felt guilty. Then, she realized. He was getting married too. She remembered her words to Nora; it was time to let him go. “I will, yes.”

Robin Scherbatsky let Barnet Stinson go. She hoped she will never have to tell how much it hurt her to do so.

***

“So, you and Barney are both getting married this year. That is quite unexpected.” Said Ted. He seemed partly depress now and Robin figured out it was mostly because he was the last single one in the group and dreamed of marriage and kids way before both her and Barney.

Lily held his hand in her personal motherly fashion, Marshall’s tapping his shoulder. “You will meet her soon, Ted, don’t worry.”

He smiled sadly. “The thing is, years ago, I thought that the One was Robin and then, Victoria. After, it was Stella. Every times I have a great fated meeting and it never end well.”

Robin snorted. “We didn’t have a fated meeting, Ted. Barney played “Have you met Ted?” with me.” Ted nodded sternly. “Yes, but you had been looking toward me for some times before. Barney just helped us to walk toward that fate.”

Robin never really liked fate or destiny. Like miracles, she never believed much about it and Ted’s talk about their “fated” meeting was annoying her slightly. “Stop talking about it like it was fate, Ted. Believe me, it wasn’t.”

Ted looked at her; his eyes saying “yes, it was!” and Robin rolled her eyes. Marshall interjected: “Ted, you know Robin never believed in those kinds of things, of course to her it’s different. But you are right, total destiny.”

Robin made an “arg!” sound from deep within her throat, tapping her glass in the table. “Robin?” asked Lily.

“I will crush all your fate speech right now Mosby.” He snorted, saying it was impossible. He knew fate when he saw it. Marshall nodded actively, while Lily was trying to calm Robin. “I doubt you can do that, honey. Ted is a one track mind kind of person.” Ted looked insulted for a moment.

“Guys, I will tell you my deepest secret. The secret I swore I would never say.” The three of them “oooh” and advanced themselves toward her, keen to know everything. She pointed her finger at Ted. “Remember Mosby, you pushed me.” The concerned swallowed soundly, but nodded, his curiosity eating him away.

“It was years ago.” She started dramatically, her friends hooked at her lips. “I was new in NYC and I came with some girl friends from work in a bar. This bar.” Ted jumped a bit on his seat, whispering “it’s the night we met, it’s the night we met!” like a five years old. “One of the girls had just been dumped and we were all under the obligation to hate all men that night.” Lily nodded in agreement, muttering the words “obviously” under her breathe.

“The thing is I had my eyes on a guy the second in entered the bar.” Marshall giggled like an excited 14 years old, waiting for the new Spice Girls movie. “I found him good looking, naturally relax, like those hot guys in Mad Men. Except it wasn’t on TV yet, but you get the idea…” Lily nodded and Ted smiled smugly. “But I couldn’t go talk to him because of the girls, so I gave up on the idea.” Marshall and Lily awww-ed together. “An hour later, my drink was empty and I went into the bar to get another one.” Ted started to jump again, excited that the moment he thought he knew, was coming.

“Then, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and met the eyes of the ones I will know later to be Barney Stinson and Ted Mosby.” She gave her tone something foreshadowing and dramatic, her friends hooked at her story like fishes. “Then, I thought: finally, he came to talk to me!” Marshall was almost yelling: “The suspense is killing me!”

Robin smiled wickedly, approaching her face, her friend following her movement. “I was wondering what my incredible crush would say for his first word to me. He seemed so perfect with his pretty eyes, his delicious smile...” Lily clapped her hands, excited. “It’s finally getting dirty!” Ted rolled his eyes and pressured Robin to finish her story.

She smiled like the devil. “He opened his mouth and said...” Ted was expecting the first word of their conversation, getting ready to come with his own speech into her story until Robin finally said, in a perfect imitation of their favorite player: “Haaaave you met Ted?”

There was a silence at the table. Her three friends were still advanced on their seat, mouth gapping, eyes fluttering. Lily threw herself back on the bench, hands in front of her. “Stop, stop, rewind. Are you telling us that the guy you goggled all night long was Barney?” Marshall gasped loudly.

Robin took a sip of her scotch, acting smug. “Yes. I didn’t even notice Ted until Barney introduced him.” Ted just stared at her. “See, not a fated meeting Ted, really.”

Marshall giggled: “Please, Robin, it was total fate.” She physically backed down. “I’m sorry?”

Ted smiled with a twinkle in his eyes. “It was, just not the one we thought.”

She looked around to her friends; three of them were smiling like they knew something she didn’t. It pissed her off greatly. Lily tapped her hand gently. Marshall passed his arm around his wife’s shoulders, their eyes meeting lovingly.

“Ted wasn’t your fate, Barney was.” Lily said, acting all lovey-dovey to her husband. She snorted. “Barney and me, we tried. Didn’t work out and we are now getting married to different people. It is not fate.”

Ted smiled at her with all the power of fatherhood he had in him. “You’re not at the finish line just yet, Robin.” And quoting his bro in question, he said: “Wait for it.”

She didn’t dare to ask what he meant.

***

When Ted, Barney and her left MacLaren’s, they all saw Ted, Marshall and Lily crying in each other’s arms, completely in distress. They didn’t ask any question and simply embraced them with everything they had. The five of them just stayed there, without moving for a long time. That night, Marvin Erikson, Marshall’s father, had died of a heart attack.

She remembered Marshall muttering all night long that he wasn’t ready for this and Robin wondered if someone was ever ready for that. Robin herself hadn’t talk to her dad in five years. She hadn’t had a really good relation with her paternal. He had treated her like a boy until she was 14 years old. At that time, her parents divorced and she moved in with her mom and little sister. A year later, she became a sensational teenage pop star; nothing really to help her shaky relationship with him.

Robin Scherbatsky Senior was a hard man, ex-CIA agent (or so she believed) and the guy scared more people than Dracula ever did. Yet, looking at Marshall at the funeral’s reception, all sad and helpless, she decided to call her dad.

“RJ.” He answered simply. No hello, no how are you. Just RJ. “Hi, dad.”

The rest of the conversation was short and nothing important or life changing happened, but for some reasons, she was glad that she called. Maybe that her father wasn’t her best friend like Marvin had been to Marshall, but he was her dad. Her father made her discovered scotch and cigars; he taught her that life was hard sometimes and that fighting thing that comes in your way was a sign of strength. He was a shitty dad, but he was hers.

After her brief conversation with her dad, she went outside the church to smoke. Barney was sitting there, on a bench, looking at his cell phone. She sat at his side. “Hey stranger.” She whispered. He gave her a small smile and respond with a “hey gorgeous” with the small tone of voice. She offered him a cigarette and he took it. “You really have everything in that purse.” He teased her. She said she went to many wakes in Canada when she was a teenager. Her father’ side of the family was pretty old, so she was used to this kind of place. “Now I know how to make an emergency kit for funerals.” He chuckled a bit and smoked his cigarette.

“I called my dad.” She said. He looked surprise for a moment and then, something of understanding passed in his eyes. He asked how it went. “No big significant talk, but I’m glad I called first.” He smiled at her, calling her the bigger man and she laughed a bit.

She looked around; the outside of the church was mostly surrounded by snow and pine trees. “This look exactly like a place Marshall would grow up in.” She said and he nodded. “Yep. All big spaces and big trees, … No wonder he grew such a giant.” He said. The Barney she knew would hate this place, but she suspected that the young kid he once was would have loved it here.

“I called my mom and told her I was ready to meet my real dad.” This confession shocked her more than she anticipated.

For years, Barney had blindly believed the word of his mother that his father was Bob Barker. He would watch The Price is Right every day, thinking that his father wasn’t there because he was too busy on TV. While growing up, he still held on to that belief, probably because he hadn’t been ready for the real reason. Then, eight months ago, his brother James found his real father. He was an old Pasteur named Sam, who looked kind and he had that very wise attitude that old Pasteur have. James had told Barney that their mother, Loretta, had refused for Sam to be a part of his education. It seemed that at the time, Sam wasn’t the most reliable man. James and his father were so very happy to have found each other and Robin believed it made Barney a bit lonelier. After that meeting, he had spent a lot of time with his mom and Robin simply let him be, not asking question he wasn’t ready to answered.

Last month, Ted had the entire gang invited to a big charity event at the Museum of Natural History. Barney had told them that last time he came here was when he was seven years old with his uncle Jerry. “It’s the last time I saw Uncle Jerry. Mom thought that he was a bad influence after what happened.” Barney, then, told them that seven years old him had took a bone of the giant Tryceraptor and throw it in the air, thus making the giant whale fall on the ground. Of course no one believed him.

The rest of the night, Robin and Barney played a game by touching the most things without being caught. After an hour, a security guard caught them anyway and brought them to his office. He mentioned that Barney had a file already at the museum and confirmed the bone and whale story. Robin couldn’t believe it. “You are sure?”

The security guard nodded: “Yeah, his guardian even signed right here: father, Jerry Whittaker.” Robin froze en Barney snorted. “Jerry was my uncle, not my dad.” The guardian supported that Jerry had checked at the father case.

Robin could read many emotions on Barney’s face at that time. He looked completely caught off-guard and it wasn’t a look she was used to. They left the museum later, making her promised that she would not breathe a word to the others. After that, Barney never mentioned his dad, until today.

“When are you meeting him?” He shrugged. He didn’t know yet. Her mom told him she had a way to contact him and she will give an address later. “If you ever need me there...” She let out. He grabbed her hand and thanked her.

Later on, Barney would go see his dad. Jerome Whittaker was now a family man with a wife and two kids. Barney got really angry at him, wondering why he couldn’t have been his dad when he seemed pretty happy to be a dad now. Jerry had a big heart and his biggest regret had to let Barney go and in the end, he succeeded by touching his son’s heart. Nothing changed really. Barney had still grew up without a father, he still had no idea how to use a hammer or a screwdriver, no one taught him to fish or to hunt, but Jerry taught him magic and at the end of the day, Barney had someone he could call a dad.

***

It was at Punchy’s (Ted’s friend) weddings in February, that the married popped out the news. “We’re pregnant!” There was a lot of hugging and tears and congrats thrown in the air. Barney proposed to steal a bottle of champagne at the reception bar later on. Ted gave him his disapproving daddy look, when Lily laughed. “Way ahead of you, sweetheart!” Like a magician, she got out of Marshall’s vest a Dom Perignon bottle. “You saucy mini kleptomaniac!” She passed it to Barney for him to pop it open (Marshall was still scared to open one without hurting anyone.) and Ted left for a second to get glass.

Once everyone served, Lily with her sparkling water and lime, they all clang their glasses, celebrating to new little person in our group. “I can’t wait to teach your kid how to live!” claimed Barney. The married rolled their eyes, but a smile drew on their lips.

Since Barney always trembled in fear in the notion that he might have got someone pregnant, they always thought he hated kids. It seemed that no matter how much he didn’t want to be a dad, being an uncle was totally awesome for him. Robin remembered his big brother James’ wedding.

With a homosexual brother, Barney probably had thought that James was the only wingman that would never leave him behind for the married life; yet, James found his soul mate in a sweet guy named Tom. Barney had been furious and felt completely abandon by his brother when he announced his engagement, but every bad feeling he might have had, all disappeared when James said that the wedding was to make adoption easier. Barney went crazy gaga at the idea of a baby Stinson and took his role of uncle more important than anything else. And if there was a baby in Manhattan that would be treated like royalty by their uncle, it would be future baby Erikson.

The rest of the night, they partied, danced, drank and had the most fun in forever. However, around midnight, Barney signaled them that he was taking his leave. “Quinn just finished her last shift at the Lusty Leopard. She’s feeling a bit sad, I’m gonna go see her.” He congratulated Marshall and Lily one last time and went to get his coat.

Robin followed him. “I should go back too; Don might be waiting at the apartment.” He took her coat and passed it to her. “Want a lift? I called Ranjit just now, he should be there soon.” She agreed and they ended up both outside the hotel of the reception, waiting in the cold. He got out a pack of cigarettes and passed to her after taking one. “Are you up for it?” She took one with a thank you and borrowed his lighter. After lighting it up, she gave it back to him and he lighted up his own. They both smoked in silence, watching the smoke in the air.

Barney always made smoking sexy. Well, to Robin anyway. She thought he had very nice hands and his lips would curl into something attractive every time the cigarette touched them. When he would breathe out the smoke, he didn’t do it like a weird fish, mouth fully open like some do. He would pursed his lips tightly together, letting smoke get out painfully slow but a small opening. Barney was a sexy smoker and just for that, she wished he’d never stop.

She broke the silence. “So, a kid. That’s great.” He chuckled, looking down at his feet. “Yeah...” 

She smirked. “Next one might be you.” 

He scoffed. He had no intention to become a dad right now, he told her. “Might ruin my awesomeness.” Then, he asked her the same question. She laughed, reminding him how much she didn’t want any children. She wanted to travel the world as a journalist, she didn’t need little munchkins tied her down in one city. “Too much hassle.”

The look in his eyes was a mystery. It’s ironic how well he knew her and how little she understood him. All she knew is that she couldn’t be so moved by him anymore and focused her sight on the sky. Then she heard a klaxon and they saw a black car coming at the entrance, Ranjit behind the wheel. They crashed their cigarette on the ground and both got in, Barney holding the door for her. They had a one hour drive to do and they passed it in silence.

***

“Can you believe it, Marshall? Two of our best friends are getting married this year!” Don laughed, happy-go-lucky and Marshall nodded actively. “I know, baby. So much preparation, we might go crazy.”

Barney took his place at the end of the booth, scotch in hand. “Quinn and I decided that we will start the preparations only in June, after Robin’s ceremony.”

Ted sighed with relief. Robin’s wedding was next month, in may, and he was stress about founding the perfect gift for it. Then he went on about how he was the perfect wedding gift giver and how he was glad that he had more time for Barney’s. Robin wasn’t listening much, playing with a glass of coke.

Ted, God bless him, noticed. “Since when do you drink jack and coke, Robin?”

Every eye was on her and she shifted uncomfortably. “I wanted to try something new.”

Then, like on cue, Marshall went on about the drink he invented called the Minnesota Tidal waves. It seemed a very girly drink to Robin and she was genially touched by Marshall’s antics. Barney wasn’t as moved as she was, since he pointed it out at loud. “Girly drink, much?” Of course, Marshall’s intentions to defend himself brought him to act like a total lawyer and Barney was silently listening to everything, hiding a smile in his drink. Robin knew that the blond just loved to work up his friend, finding it entertaining. Robin let herself be entertained too.

Its hours later and everyone, but Barney and her, had left. Don had coaxed her to leave together, but she told him that she was in the mood for a bit more and she would join him in an hour. Three hours later, she was still here, drinking with Barney. Barney was staring at her, his eyes creating shivers on her skin. “So, Scherbatsky, what’s up?”

She had so many things going on right now; she had no idea where to start explaining. Yet, with Barney, she knew that the trivial things about her wedding ceremony wouldn’t matter really. “Nothing much.”

He smiled slightly, drinking his scotch. “Well, something big happened two days ago.” She added.

That definitely got his interest. His advanced his body toward her across the table, begging to know. Robin smiled disappeared and so his. His brows knitted together. “What’s wrong?”

She searched for his eyes, looking for an anchor. She found them, the color of concern, glitter sparkling deep within them. She could not hide this anymore and she needed him to share her burden. The world standing on her shoulders was getting too heavy. “I might be pregnant.”

Time froze him for a second, before she saw him sat down lower on the booth, sighing. He looked at her Jack and coke glass, probably realizing there wasn’t any Jack in it. His eyes met hers and she hoped he would not look down. He didn’t.

“Going to the doctor?” he asked in a whisper.

“Tomorrow afternoon.” 

He drank scotch. “With Don?” 

She looked down. “He does know yet.” 

He drank more. He hissed when the hard liquid passed through him. “Not sure to keep it then.” She didn’t answer. She didn’t need to because he knew, because he understood.

They had talk about it in the past, when they were dating. What would happen if she fell pregnant? They had been at it more than bunnies and Robin had voiced her concerned. He explained that he had a lot a pregnancy scare and in the end, you never know exactly how to react until you know for sure. She had mentioned that she never wants to have kids and he had smiled a smile that mean he knew things she didn’t.

“I never wanted to be a mom. Not even if I get married.” He looked into her eyes, searching for something.

“Well, you never wanted to get married too, things change all the time.” She did say anything back. She didn’t dare to reveal too much of her thoughts. She wanted to marry Don, but not once she had thought about having his children and today was no different.

“I thought I was pregnant once, with you.”

His eyebrow rose up high with that look of surprise that she found so adorable. “Only for a day, and it was mostly because I was late and Marshall was talking about having a baby all the time. But I did.”

He ordered another glass of scotch and she saw a veil of alcohol in his eyes. He was getting a bit drunker. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

She whispered a laugh. “After a day? I was mostly trying to process it and the next day, I wasn’t, so no point of mentioning it.” He kept silence.

“Barney?” She tried to hide so many feelings in her voice that she knew she failed. His drunken eyes warmed her up. “Would you come with me tomorrow?” He looked intensely at her for something that seemed like an eternity to Robin. He pushed away his yet untouched scotch and held her hand on the table.

“I’ll pick you up at your work.” And he did.

***

At the hospital, Robin was feeling like throwing up all the food in her stomach for that past three days. Thankfully, Barney’s presence was helping much more than she thought possible. He had sat on the chair next to her, his ankle resting on his knee, his arms behind her on the chair. He was acting like it was nothing at all for them being here, reading a magazine. But he cared and she knew, the constant pressure of his fingers on her shoulder kept reminding her.

A nurse came to get them and put them in a room, saying that the doctor will be there soon with the result. Hands in his pockets, Barney was casually leaning against the wall and she looked for his eyes. She found them stressed and wavering.

“What do I do if I am pregnant?” Her voice was a whisper and yet, his ears caught it.

He cracked his neck in nervousness. “What did you wanted to do last time?”

She knew he was referring to her confession last night and she tried to think about it. She remembered seeing a charming boy with blue eyes and blond hair, wearing a suit and giving her his father’s smile. She saw an adorable brunette girl with her nose and his sharp cheekbones making that face she knew she did when she was dying of curiosity. She had seen them beautiful and perfect, like him and her. Now, she tried to imagine the baby that might be in her belly and she can’t see anything at all. Somehow, that scared her more.

The doctor finally came and Barney approached himself near her, standing behind her chair. She felt the warmth of his body and the safety of his presence and everything seemed to be easier. The doctor was looking at her with all the seriousness of her position.

“I’m sorry, Miss Scherbatsky, but you are not pregnant.” Said the Doctor, in a heavy Japanese accent. 

At the same time that relief washed over her, she felt Barney’s stress evaporating out of his body, the palm of his hand touched the lower part of her back, directly on her spine and she felt content.

They entered a cab in complete silence, but smiling. “Let’s go to the cigar bar.” She said. His smile grew wider and he gave the address to the cab driver. He bought her favorite cigar and scotch and they had an entire afternoon of gentleman’s fun.

It was late afternoon and they were both a bit under the influence of their sins. She supposed that it was the emotions of the past days, that had been a like rollercoaster, that pushed her to spill her secret.

“He was wearing a suit.” She blurted out. He crooked one eyebrow at her, his smile laughing at her. He probably thought she was drunk. She probably was a little.

“What?” he asked; laughter in his question.

She looked down at her drink, shy. “The boy I imagined I was pregnant with when we were dating, he was blond and wearing a suit.” 

He hid a smile in his glass. “Hope it was Armani.” She wanted to grab his hand and pull him close to her, but she didn’t. There were too many things between them since forever.

His cellphone rang; it was Quinn. He confirmed his presence for diner and hung up. He threw her a look that meant he had to go and she smiled sadly at him, meaning she understood. He put his black credit card on the bar and asked the barman to put everything on it. She stood up to leave too, Don probably waiting for her at home. She touched his forearm as a silence thanks for paying and left before him.

The surprisingly cold air of March outside hit her like a ton of brick, cutting her breath in half. As a Canadian, she is use to cold, but the hallways of powerful winds in Manhattan are something else of this world and she let herself be swept away by it. She caught a cab and gave the driver her address. Once the cab started moving, she saw Barney leaving the club through the rear-view mirror. She tried not to stare. She really did.

***

It was only a month away from her wedding, everyone of her friends were talking about it and Robin was feeling pretty great about it all, until the doctor phoned her.

Back in the hospital, Robin felt lonely without Barney’s presence. Then, the same Japanese doctor met her and explained something that seemed very complicated and she missed his reassuring presence even more. There was a buzz in her mind and all Robin could think about was: “I can’t have children?”

The doctor sighed and showed some graphic on her computer screen but it was mostly a blur to Robin. “The chances of you getting pregnant naturally are below 5%. In this case, we have to call for infertility.”

She didn’t react at all. Most women might have cried, but she was just numb with the news. She saw the two children of Barney that she had imagined many years ago, beautiful and alive, in their teenage year. For some reasons, she didn’t want to let them go.

“But 5% still means I have chances, right?” Her voice was strong; a wall to protect her mind, to not show it was affecting her.

The doctor smiled a sad smile. “If it happens, it would be in the domain of a miracle.”

Well, damn it. She thought. Never believing in miracles came right back to bit her in the ass. 

She bought a bottle of cheap gin and went for a walk in central park. It was cold for April, like hell had frozen over, but she didn’t have the mind to be bother by it. She walked until it was really dark and she ended sitting on a bench, looking in the distance.

She never wanted kids; that had always been a certainty in her mind. She wanted to be a journalist, going to every country on the planet on dangerous assignments and the idea of her, giving it all up for some pooping machine was incredibly stupid. But saying you don’t want kids and being told that you can’t were two different things. If one day she had change her mind, she might had tried to have kids, now it wasn’t even in the equation. Then, she saw them again, the two kids she thought she had once.

A couple of months ago, she had to let go of Barney in the most painful way and now, she had to let go of a dream she didn’t even know she had. No matter how easy she can imagine them, they can’t exist. They disappeared somewhere in dreamland and she stood up from the bench, frozen head to toes, and walked back home. She dreaded the talk she would have to have with her fiancé, but she was ready to face it. She couldn’t give them life but she will be damned if she didn’t live hers to the fullest.

***

“We haven’t received Barney’s answer for the reception.”

She was focusing on a TV show about ancient guns and Don was playing puzzle with the seating chart for the reception at the dinner table. “Sorry what?”

He sighed. “It’s your wedding too, you know, could help me a bit.”

She batted her eyelashes. “I did cake tasting.” She drank a sip of her beer bottle.

“Can you call Barney and ask him if Quinn and him want fish or chicken?”

She snorted half her attention still on TV. “Knowing Barney, he’s gonna go for the beef.”

He sighed again. “Well there is not beef, so make him choose.” She almost choked on her beer, all her attention leaving the TV. “There is no red meat?”

He stared at her. “No, there isn’t.” She stood up, feeling over-dramatic. “There is no red meat at my wedding?”

He ignored her outburst. “Just call him, Robin.” She took her cellphone on the coffee table and threw it at her fiancé. “Do it yourself.” Then, she sat angrily on the couch like a kid with a tantrum, while Don went for the kitchen with her cellphone.

Five minutes later, she was still muttering stuff about red meat when he came back in the living room. She didn’t notice his awkwardness at first, but his weird stance made her looked.

“He complained about the no red meat thing, didn’t he? Of course, he did. Barney knows the importance of beef.” He laughed and it sounded so very false to Robin ears and then, she knew something was amiss.

“Barney is not coming to the wedding.” She blinked her eyelashes furiously, like butterfly wings. “Yes, he does. Of course, he does.” Don sat at her side and took her hand. “Robin…” She let go of him and stood up.

“No. Barney is one of my best friends, he’s my bro, and he is coming.” Don met her eyes and he said sternly: “No, he isn’t.”She let out her breathe, trying to stop something in her chest to choke her. She sat on the couch again, feeling dizzy. “But he’s my best friend.” Don caressed her back.

“Quinn and Barney are going to a trip in Cuba. They’re taking the plane the same morning.” She stood up fast. “I’m going for a walk.” She took her sweater and left the apartment.

She walked for a long time. It was already late at night and the streets were alive only by the street lights, she didn’t even bother to think about going back. Then, without realizing, she was in front of Barney’s apartment building. She pondered about going up, but she took her cellphone out instead and called him. He answered on the second ring, but she didn’t let him say a word.

“You are so coming to my wedding, Barney Stinson or I’ll shoot you.” He chuckled. “You think it’s funny?”

He laughed again and she became furious. She was going to yell every insanity in her book when he said: “What are you doing walking outside in your pajamas?”

She looked around her franticly and spotted Barney walking toward her, a plastic bag from the liquor store in his hands. Robin thought he was gorgeous and for a second she wasn’t angry, just peaceful, bathing in his smile. Once in front of her, he hung up his phone and put it back in his breast pocket. She still had her phone stuck to her ear, looking at him when he laughed again.

“Is that blue dogs on those jams, Robin?”

She got out of her stupor and put her phone in her sweater pocket. She played a bit with her hair and closed the white sweater around her. “My little sister gave it to me.” She heard him muttering “Ah, good old Katie.” with affection. She grew self-conscious by the minute and grabbed her pajamas pants in her fist. “I didn’t realize I was wearing them.”

He took her hand that was still fisting and her fingers automatically relaxed. His thumb was tracing gentle circles on the top of her hand, near her knuckles. She focused her eyes on that. Robin was still furious at him and yet, she didn’t remember why exactly. Something was fuming and burning in her heart, hurting her throat. She heard him draw a deep breathe.

“I won’t be coming, Robin. I’m sorry.”

This time, she was the one that didn’t miss a beat. “But you have to.” He didn’t answer, his hand still holding hers. “You’re my bro. Don’t you have a code about not going to a bro’s wedding or something?”

She sounded desperate to her own ears, but hidden in the cover of the night of New York, she didn’t care much. She looked up, trying to catch the color of his eyes, he didn’t let her. He dropped her hand, took a huge step behind, distancing himself and the hand holding the bag fisted. His other hand went to massage the back of his neck. He drew many hard breathe, a tremor in his legs. “We are not bros. We haven’t been since forever. We are ex-lovers.”

He was right. For someone that always fled reality and feeling, Barney had always been very sensitive and perspective to everything. His intuition about her was always alarmingly spotted on. She knew that Ted claimed himself the expert of Robin Scherbatsky, but secretly it was Barney that held the medal.

The bastard had always been a closet genius and she had to admit she did hate him a little for it. He may act silly most of the time, but Robin knew that deep down, it was mostly because he was intelligent enough to not show it off. The capacities he would possessed always surprised her, like that time he decided to learn 100 decimals of PI for a bet with Marshal. When they were a couple, she would see things she never thought possible for Barney. He was utterly impossible and it was impossible for him to not come at the most important day of her life.

“It’s like when Ted invited you to his wedding with Stella, no one wants to be the ex at a wedding.” She knew what he meant, but they relationship was years ago. Didn’t they move on from this? She asked him.

“I don’t think it’s quite possible for me to do that.” She was surprise by his confession. “I mean, I really loved you and I kept thinking that f I had been good enough to make you happy, we would still be together.”

She tried again to look into his eyes but he obstinately refused to meet hers. “But Quinn...” His head shot back up toward her face. “I love her.” He stated, firmly. She wanted to ask if he loved Quinn as much as he loved her, but she bit her tongue, knowing it would be just plain cruel.

“I gotta go up, she’s waiting for me. We are watching Love Actually.” She didn’t know if he was ironic about this or just resolute. He signed a goodbye and went toward the door. She looked at his back, the silk of his navy blue suit was glowing slightly under the street light and her heart felt so heavy.

She had no idea what took over her and years later, she wouldn’t know either, but she just yelled at him: “I can’t have kids.”

He stopped on his track. “The doctor told me just a week after we went for the pregnancy test.” That was a month ago and she hadn’t breath a word to her friends yet, not knowing exactly how to do it. “I told Don, obviously, but he didn’t care.” He just stood there, in front of the automatic door of the lobby, not moving. “He said he didn’t want kids anyway.” She saw the plastic bag in his hand move, he was holding it strongly. “He said he didn’t care, but... but...” For the first time in six months, she felt tears burning her eyes. “I can’t have kids, Barney. I’m a defect.” It wasn’t about Don, it was about herself. She felt like a complete failure. “My dad wanted a boy so much and in the end, I’m not really a girl either.”

He abruptly turned around and let go of his bag. It made a big clang went it hit the ground but all she could hear was Barney heavy foot step coming toward her. He grasped her shoulder and slammed her against him in a strong embrace. Finally, she cried. It was the first time for her to cry about this. She just never let herself, thinking that it was for the best anyway. Now, in his arms, she was ready to mourn them; these two wonderful kids she will never get to meet, she mourned them. Her arms went behind his back to grip his shoulders. She held to him and cried.

It took her at least ten minutes for being able to speak again. “I don’t want kids but knowing I can’t even have them…” She let the rest go in the void. She didn’t need to speak anyway, not with Barney. “You are a woman, Robin. A beautiful and brilliant woman, you are made of awesomeness.” She laughed a bit into the crook of his neck.

“I’m still surprise that someone would want to marry me.” She heard his breathe on her ear and he let go of his embrace but kept his hands on her arm. “I know that when you listen to Ted, Marshall or Lily, marriage seems to be just something you do when you find someone to have your kids and share your mortgage, but it’s not. You don’t get married for that Robin, you get married to be with this person forever, to spend the rest of your life with them.” She breathed in his answer, trying to grasp his rare wisdom. “It’s not a protocol or anything like Ted makes it so, it’s for you; for you to feel that you belong with someone, to someone.”

He dried her tears with his thumbs. “I’m sorry that you can’t have kids, but don’t cry for that. Live your awesome life like you planned. Travel the world, be a great journalist and forget about things that tie you down.” She could hear the overtone saying “forget about me”, but she ignored it.

He looked at her finally. His eyes were a shade that she didn’t know the meaning. “Robin, I am not coming to your wedding.”

She was sad, she was in pain, like that day when she had to give up the kids that never were and like that day, she accepted the inevitable fate, while watching the very last glitter on his cheekbone disappeared. “I know.”

***

With her wedding coming in a bit less than three weeks, it became the topic of conversation of all her friend. They asked her a bunch of questions about the color of the drapes, the flower in the bouquet, all questions that Robin had no idea. Don and his sister were doing mostly everything. The only thing Robin took care of was her dress.

A long time ago, was she was young and that getting married was the dream life, Robin had wish for nothing more than a Vera Wang gown. So, with a five months pregnant Lily, she went shopping for the perfect dress. It seems that when you are looking for a Vera Wang, you can’t find one. They had desperately looked everywhere for one that was Robin’s dream dress and they didn’t find any. They came back at MacLaren’s that night completely exhausted and without a dress.

“Ever thought about checking on Internet?” Asked Ted. Robin and Lily were rejuvenated by this and Ted went to get Marshall Laptop upstairs. When he came back, Barney was with him. They all sat at the booth, looking through every dress they could find. Well, except Barney, who seemed to have no interest whatsoever.

“Ooh, Robin! Look at that Vera Wang!” It was a simple gown embroided with laces, tight around the waist; not showing much cleavage, but the back was completely open. Robin loved it instantly. “That’s it! That’s the one!”

Lily made some verification and discovered that the dress was in England but could be send out for fitting in a wedding gown shop in New York. Robin was actually starting to get excited by this wedding when she saw the price.

“Vera Wang, you son of a bitch!” Lily’s eyes were bigger than a glass of gin. “That’s not the price for a gown, it’s for a monument!” 

Both Ted and Barney looked at the price, curious. They both choked on their own saliva. “Robin, you can never offer yourself something like that.” Ted said, looking pitiful. “I’m sorry.”

Lily took her hand and whispered word of comfort, but nothing really worked. She had found the perfect dress and she couldn’t wear it. She shrugged it off, like always. “It’s fine! It’s way too glamorous for me.”

The rest of the conversation mostly ran around how expensive getting married was. Then, Ted changed the subject to Lily’s pregnancy and the rest of the night went on. Hours later, at the apartment, she told Don about the incredible gown that was more expensive than the diamond on her finger. He laughed, saying that she doesn’t need a ridiculous expensive dress to be pretty. Yet, while falling asleep that night, all she could think about is that yes, she needed it.

A week later, the wedding was dangerously approaching and she was still in search of the perfect gown. Ted had told her, like he was her dad, that she shouldn’t have wait a month before the ceremony to look for it, but she ignored him. Lily had given up walking around every day for shopping, her back hurting like hell. Robin understood that the bigger her belly was becoming, harder it was for her to walk around for hours, but she missed her friend every time she entered a shop.

One afternoon, after spending her entire hour of lunch break shopping without result, she came back to work. There was a group made of the entire researchers like her around her desk. “What the hell, women?” 

She parted the crowd and Nora was near her chair, eyes shining of admiration. “Oh Robin…” 

She glanced down and turned her chair around. Sitting there was the gown. The more-expensive-than-the-diamond-on-her-finger-wedding-gown made by Vera Wang that was supposed to be in a very posh shop in London. It was here, on her chair.

“What? How..? What!?” She was utterly gobsmacked. No coherent thoughts was passing in her brain. 

Nora touched her arm to get her attention. “Barney.” She simply stated as a matter of fact. 

“Sorry?” She wasn’t processing things very well right now. 

Nora smiled, full of admiration behind her iris. “He came in with this, saying that it was your early wedding present.” She took a blue envelop that was on her desk and she gave it to her. 

She opened it with more delicacy that one normally used and she took the simple card out. He was saying that the dress was his way to ask forgiveness for not coming to her wedding. “I know you will look breathtaking in this. You are going to rock this marriage thing Scherbatsky. Bazinga!” She felt tears prickling her eyes. She looked down at the magnificent gown that she dreamed all her life and it was soaked in blinding glitter.

***

“Holy confetti, Robin! Stop it! I’m almost 6 months pregnant and I will sit on you.”

Robin threw a deathly stare at her friend, but Lily returned it tenfold. Ted was right, that miniature woman was part devil inside. Robin sat on Lily’s couch, trying to relax. “Fine, fine. I stop moving.”

Lily sighed and grabbed her hand. “I know a wedding is stressful believe me, but it’s in five days now, all the preparation are finished, no need to stress, honey.”

“I know.” She breathed. “It’s not the preparations that are stressing me; I don’t care about the flowers or colors, seriously.” Her redheaded friend looked at her like she was mental. After all, Lily had been the kind of bride that had stressed that the roses of her wedding hall weren’t the right shade of pink. Robin, however, couldn’t care less about this. Don mostly took care of everything, with his sister, creating a small ceremony with way too many people. That was the problem. Don had a huge family and even thought he never see them; he decided that they all should be there.

“I mean, only my mother, my father and Katie are coming on my side. Don had the entire Greek wedding thing going on: it’s too much!” 

Lily sighed and signaled her to sit near her. Robin did so and her friend enveloped her in a warm embrace. “Robin, I am sorry to ask you this, but…” Lily hesitated and Robin pushed her to say it. “Are you sure you want to go through with this wedding?”

“Say what?!” Lily threw her the “where’s the poop” look and Robin was resolute to held her gaze. 

“Robin, not once you acted like a future bride. You should be bubbling with excitement and eradiating of love.” Robin rolled her eyes. “Instead, you are gray and all made of knots like a boat.”

Robin stopped her track of mind for a second to think about Lily’s word. “Did you just compare me to a boat?” 

Lily waved it off. “Not the point! Robin, do you want to get married to Don?” 

She nodded actively. “Yes, yes, yes, I do, yes, yes!” The “poop” eyes came back, but she ignored them grandly and sent from heaven to save her, Barney, Ted and Marshall entered the apartment.

The three of them looked drunk at first sight. Barney directly went to the kitchen to open the fridge, Ted sat on the chair in the living room and Marshall threw himself at his wife feet, cuddling her enormous belly. “My Lily, my boy, I love you! Don’t ever leave me!” 

The woman in question laughed. “Now, why would we, Marshmallow?” Ted started to weep and so did Marshall.

Marshall yelled at the top of his lungs: “ Barneeeeey, I love you man!” 

Ted stood up in a flash, making Robin startled. “Me too Buddy! Let’s get married together like James did and adopt children.” Ted, in a drunken fashion, walked toward his friend that was getting out of the kitchen with a newly open beer. He grandly hugged him. “I love you so much man! Let’s go play “have you met Ted?””

Robin stood up asking for order. “O.K. guys, what’s with the big love declaration?” Lily, still sitting on the sofa, her legs trapped in her husband embrace, caught Robin’s arm and signaled her to look at Ted and Barney.

Ted had still his arms around the neck of his friend and Barney had difficulty to keep them still and standing. She finally noticed his eyes; all red, his lips; twitching and her heart hurt. Lily stood up, leaving a drunk Marshall to fall asleep on the ground and went toward him. “Oh Honey, what’s wrong?”

Barney twitched nervously and threw Ted back on the couch. He flattened his tie and rearranged its knot. “Nothing, really, I’m fine.”

“Barney, where’s the poop?” Asked Lily directly. Maybe it was the pregnancy but Lily’s motherly stare was freakishly more powerful than ever. Barney started to melt like a puddle.

“No poop! Just a bit drunk. Tequila does that.” He looked at Marshall that was muttering love words about his wife in his drunken sleep and he smirked. “They are such bad drinkers.”

Ted started to mumbled things that were incomprehensible. “Ted is so drunk, we need subtitles...” Robin stated, looking at her friend. 

“He asked for a pillow.” Robin and Lily stared at Barney. “I speak drunk.” 

They aahh-ed and Lily whispered something like “obviously, you would” and Robin put a pillow under Ted’s head. Their two friends started to snore loudly and while Lily took place on the chair, Barney slouched himself on Ted’s legs. The assaulted one grunted something and fell right back to sleep. Robin sat on the arm of the couch, her hand finding Barney’s shoulder.

“Lily’s right, I smell poop too.” Under the two girls’ insistent stares, Barney sighed loudly and took a big gulp of his beer. 

He whispered: “Man, I’m not drunk enough for this.” And drank again, finishing his bottle in one shot. “Quinn and me broke up, she’s moving out.”

Lily “oh honey”-ed him, looking all sad and pitiful. Robin grasped his shoulder and caressed them delicately. She wondered for a moment if she was doing this for his comfort or for her to not fall down on her butt. “I’m sorry, Barney.”

He looked up at her; a small smile on his lips, his blue eyes the shade of acceptance. “It’s alright. It would have been a horrible marriage. We love each other, but we don’t trust each other.”

“Well, I think that, even if it’s a sad thing, you took the right decision.” Intersected Lily, acting like Oprah. “You don’t build a marriage on lies Barney and I’m very proud that you understood that.” She made a very motherly face again and wept a little. “My big boy is all grown up.”

Robin chuckled and Barney rolled his eyes, a smile playing on his lips. She met his blue eyes again, blue like an autumn sky, and she felt her heart leap. He was broken and sad and she was scared of how exactly he will deal with it, this time.

Two days later, Barney went back to his old self and for a moment there, Robin thought that maybe she had exaggerated her impression of his pain. However, the third day, Barney came in MacLaren’s, while she was eating with Don, with the cutest dog ever. Robin was a fervent dog lover, everyone knew that, but she never pegged Barney for it. She rapidly understood: Barney had found him in the street, named in Brover and made him is new wingman. He started to talk about making suit for the dog, when he left with it for the bar, to order something.

“Don, this is out of hand, we need to do something.” Don gave her the “really?” look and Robin fixed her eyes in his, resolute. He sighed. “Fine...”

They invited him for diner the same night and even Don, that thought she was over-reacting about Brover, went a bit weird when Barney asked him to settle a place at the table for Brover. He was going to argue something, but Robin cut him off, putting a plate on the table near Barney. “Isn’t he the cutest bro ever, Robin?” She smiled kindly. “Yes, he is.”

Don took her apart in the kitchen. “Robin, don’t encourage him, this is insane!” She mimed the word “I know” and took a look at Barney at the table. He was answering his cellphone that was ringing. “He feels lonely and sad. When I had five dogs, I did the same for a couple of days, we just need to show him our support.” He didn’t look so sure about her statement, when Barney stepped in the kitchen, Brover in the crook of his arm.

“That was Brover’s owner. It seems he ran away from his kennel and now that she came back in town and she’s looking for him.” 

She grabbed his forearms, caressing him. “Oh I’m so sorry Barney.”

He sniffed; his eyes full of water. This dog was definitely not helping his abandonment issues. Lily would have a field day with this if she was here. “Want me to go with you at the owner’s place?” 

His voice was small, like the kid she knew he could be. “Really?”

She smiled and they departed together, leaving Don with the dishes. He kissed her goodbye. “Don’t be too long.” He asked and let her go.

When they arrived in the right building, Barney started to walk at a slower pace. She put her hand on his lower back to push him forward. She expertly stops thinking about the tingle in her fingers and the silkiness of his suit.

“You ready to say goodbye?” She asked, getting him ready for the inevitable. He nodded. 

“Thanks for coming with me.”He told her, eyes honest and beautiful. She smiled and nudged him in the arm. Her hand found the dog’s ear and she scratched him with affection.

“Oh well, you did the same for me back when I had to give away all my dogs. Remember?” 

He smiled, and chuckled. “Oh yeah, we drove to your aunt’s farm upstate.” He chuckled again. “I love how she was this wise, old, chilled out, lesbian farmer.”

She laughed. “No, no, no. She is not a lesbian.” She added for a laugh: “Nor does she farm them.” He smirked at her joke. She continued to scratch Brover. “No, that woman she lives with, that’s just her special friend Maureen. They’ve live together for...” She froze for a second, letting her own word to sink in. Barney gave her his “come on, think Scherbatsky” eyes, with a wicked smile playing on his lips. “Oh.” Damn, my aunt is a lesbian.

The rest of the night went pretty well, she played the perfect wingwoman by letting Barney entered the apartment of Brover’s owner and she went back to Don’s, finishing her dessert and go to bed. She felt asleep like a rock, panic attack did not kept her awake. Well, so she told herself all night long.

***

Robin didn’t know exactly how the hell she ended up in Okinawa with all the places in the world, but not once since she arrived, she had regretted her decision. The Okinawa archipelago was breathtaking and probably one of the most beautiful beaches she had never walked on. The ocean was clear and warm, fishes were of thousands of colors and the wind had a delicious taste of salt and freedom. Everything was utterly perfect, except for the fact that she felt lonely.

On the third night, after a classy diner at an incredible sushi bar, she came back to her hotel and texted him. Five minutes later, her Skype was ringing on her laptop and she met his blue eyes. Suddenly, the room felt way much hotter than it actually was and she felt her cheeks burn under his stare. His eyes were sparkling, his smile utterly wicked.

“You saucy little minx, you pulled a Julia Roberts.” Barney teased her. She bit her lower lips and looked down. “How’s Lily, Marshall and Ted?”

He rearranged his seating position and chuckled. “They were worried at first, but they guessed that you would contact us sooner or later. Ted is pretty angry to have to deal with your groom, though.” He is focused on his camera, probably for giving her a stare to make her feel just a bit guilty. 

She nodded. “Tell him I’ll apologize profusely when I come back.”

He smiled and nodded in agreement. “Come back from where exactly? Where are you?”

She took a deep breathe. “Okinawa.” 

His eyebrows shut up. “The main island?” She nodded. “Nice chose Scherbatsky! I’m proud.” 

She smiled. “Of course, Barney Stinson has been here before.” He made a “duh!” face and laughed.

When their laughter subsided, there was a silence and Robin didn’t know exactly what to say, so she just said the first think she could think about: the reason for why she called. “I feel a bit lonely though.”

His smile was a bit sad. “When do you come back?”

In 4 days, she said. She talked to him about that great sushi bar she just went. He rolled his eyes and told her that there was an even better one in a little place near the harbor. He gave her the address and she promised him to go the next day for lunch. There was another silence and Barney broke it. “I received the wedding gown this morning.”

She nodded solemnly. The night right before her wedding, she packed the minimum of stuff, bought a ticket to Okinawa on the net departing in 5 hours and she was all set to leave everything behind when her eyes had found the Vera Wang wedding gown. She had loved that dress the moment she had seen it and the fact that it was a gift from Barney made it even more precious to her. But she wasn’t going to wear it the next day, so she carefully packed it and gave it to the doorman at Barney’s apartment.

Barney cleared his throat, getting her out of her thoughts. “What happened, Robin? What changed your mind?” Oh, that was such a complicated and loaded question. Robin thought about it carefully.

In the afternoon, Don had left to sleep at a hotel before the big day and Robin had spent that afternoon with Lily, getting massages and manicure. After all that relaxation, they both went to MacLaren’s to join their friend for one last drink, before going to bed. All day long, she had not once thought that she wouldn’t go through with the wedding. Her parents and sister were there all happy for her. (Well as happy as her dad can be.) The three of them had fell in love with the future groom and everything was perfect. Until her father came to MacLaren’s, that is.

His reason was mostly because he wanted to meet her friends before the actual wedding day. He sat with them, promising Robin he would only stay for an hour and then leave her to celebrate her last night.

She knew that her dad would like Marshall. He was big (huge) and was all about a little boy pleasing his daddy. Her dad gave him a couple claps on the shoulder, calling him Erikson and just like that, Marshall had Scherbastky Sr’s approval. Of course, because Lily was a dutiful wife bearing his first child who happens to be a boy, he treated her like a goddess. 

Ted was another story, at first she thought her dad wouldn’t like him much, but it seems that Ted tendencies to be a bit of a snob struck a chord on her father’s affection. The fact that Ted was currently the architect of one of the biggest building in NYC was helping a lot. Senior promised to come at the opening at Christmas Eve in 2012.

She always thought that her father and Barney would clash. They were complete opposites. Her father was all Canadian man, killing bear with his bare hands and doing some wet work for the CIA. He naturally despises everything that is Barney. He hated blond men that were funny, sensible and perspective. Normally, her dad would have hated him. He even said directly to Barney’s face that men weren’t supposed to be blond, that was for woman. Of course, Barney had surprised her yet again.

“A scotch Sir? They have a great Macallan 35. Neat?” He asked, while signaling Wendy to come to take the order. That impressed her dad. “You like scotch?” Barney had chuckled. “Who doesn’t? If you want, I think I still have some Romeo and Juliette cigar from my last trip to Cuba…” Like magic, he got two cigars out of his breast pocket and the eyes of Scherbatsky Senior just lighted up. “Yes, let’s smoke one later.”

Of course, Robin knew herself that simply liking scotch and cigar wasn’t enough to gain her father approval. She tried that a thousand of times in her childhood without any results. But now, at least, he was seeing Barney as a man and not a blond transvestite. 5 minutes later, Barney’s cellphone rang and he looked at the I.D. window. “Damn it, North Korean’s leaders are annoying this time of year…” He said very casually. He excused himself and stood up, answering his phone in a fluent Korean. He came back into the bar 10 minutes later and sat on his chair. Marshall asked what was wrong with the North Koreans. After all, everyone was dying to know what his job was.

He just shrugged. “Just complaining again that the U.S gave new big bad guns to South Korea, you know? The usual. Ungrateful bastards…” Barney seemed that have notice as well as Robin the look of complete admiration shinning in her father eyes. Barney’s smile became wicked. 

With a foot in the arena, Barney went for the kill. “It’s mostly just this new weird pen pushing leader that annoyed me, though.” He took out his phone a second time and act like he was screening his contact. “Maybe I should just call my sniper guy.”

Everyone became just one big chorus. “You have a sniper guy?” Barney snorted. “Please! Who doesn’t?” 

They were all going to argue when Robin Scherbatsky Senior, hater of the world extraordinaire, put his heavy hand on Barney’ shoulder and a very fatherly fashion. Something he had never – ever- done before. “Exactly, son. Exactly.”

Her father left an hour later, completely enamoured with Barney Stinson. Before leaving, he took her apart from everyone else. “Good friends you got there. That Stinson guy is a good son of gun.” He left with a pat on her shoulder, but overall, Robin was satisfied of the evening. She stayed at the bar to order another scotch and it’s when everything went wrong.

She went back to her seat, all smiles and a bit drunk. Her father had liked Barney! She was so very happy of this simple fact, she felt like to best moment of the whole year was happening right now. They all had laughed together until midnight, Ted and Marshall arguing on total silly stuff in Back to the Future, Lily rolling her eyes, here and there and Barney putting his word in just to create more mess. Her leg was touching his on the seat, her shoulder bumping his every now and then. He would look into her eyes to say something hilarious, glitter in his iris and she would giggle like the drunk she was. Everything seemed perfect, when Lily kicked her in the leg.

“It’s midnight girl, you should go back and sleep. Don’t want to miss the big day tomorrow!” Robin giggled in her glass. Ted made an oh-la-la and laughed. “Damn, she is wasted.” She finished her drink and grabbed Barney’s arm. “My daddy liked you very much. He called you a son of a gun!” He chuckled and patted her hand. “That’s good, Scherbatsky, now go home and sleep.”

She giggled even more when Marshall helped her up. She cuddled him, calling him a big fluffy teddy bear. Once outside, she lashed herself at Barney’s arm again. “Let’s share a taxi!” Lily grabbed her and pulled her away from Barney. “You are sleeping with me upstairs, remember?” Robin pouted. “But it’s the night before my wedding; I don’t want to go through to whole lesbian experience again.” She thought that maybe that fact was the same as the fact that she was the bride. She could ask for anything and get it. But not with Lily Aldrin. “Exactly, you are getting married. And girls that get married the next day don’t share cabs with another man.”

She sobered up in an instant. She stood silence for a moment, looking in Lily eyes for something she knew wasn’t there. It was because it was just her fantasy. For the past 3 hours, since her father had left, she had thought herself engaged to Barney. For 3 hours, she thought that tonight she would succeed to convince him that the night apart was just stupid, go back to his place and make love until she had to put her wedding dress and marry him. For 3 hours she had been engaged to Barney Stinson and nothing made her happier.

Lily brought her upstairs and put her to bed. An hour later, Robin had sneak out, went to her apartment to pack and left NYC for Okinawa.

“Robin?” Her eyes met his one the computer screen. “It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it.” She smiled sadly at him. “I wasn’t in love with him, Barney. That’s just… that.”

He saw her helplessness, he saw her defiance to talk about it, and so he understood and never asked about it again.

***

“Just tell me a story, Mosby!!” yelled Lily, while crushing Ted’s hand.

The three of them were in a hospital room, waiting for Marshall and Barney to come back from an impromptu trip to Atlantic City. It was November and Lily was slowly getting ready to pop at any time and Ted was the biggest ball of stress Robin had never seen. Why Lily had send Marshall away so close to the delivery date, Robin would never understand. “He was stressing me too much, so I asked Barney to bring him there for a weekend. Not my fault the baby’s early!”

When the doctor came to check the advancement of the delivery, Robin got a good look at her friend’s vagina wide open with a head trying to push itself out. Obviously, she fainted. Really, she never was this happy knowing that her own vagina wouldn’t have to go through this. When she woke up, she was in the waiting room, her head on Barney’s tight.

“Want me to get you a bucket to throw up in?” He teased her when she sat up on the chair. She gave him a deadly stare and he just chuckled. “It’s alright Scherbatsky, happen to the best of us.” She mentioned that a vagina shouldn’t be able to do that and started to explained what she saw. He made a face of disgust and he massaged his neck. “Yeah, I am definitely not going to look right now.”

“Haven’t seen much of you since you’re back.” He said. It’s true that she somewhat managed to evaded him since Okinawa. After all, Robin knew that he was the reason she didn’t get married and she honestly had no idea whatsoever how to deal with these feelings. Was she ready to go back to him? Long ago, when they broke up, she had made him so miserable that the memory itself was enough to stop her. What if she still wasn’t ready, what if her feelings for Barney were too strong for her to handle? Looking deep into his blue eyes, she looked for answers. She only saw glitter, blinding her mind.

“Sorry. Been busy with the wedding cancellation and moving out of Don’s place. Summer had been crazy.” He asked where is her new place and she said she found a great apartment near Central Park. “It’s a bit expensive but I can manage.”

There was a silence between them that she didn’t like so she asked if Marshall was in there with Lily and he nodded. “Ted went to the bathroom, should be back soon.” At his words, Ted came back toward them. Robin wasn’t one to notice much. For a journalist, she wasn’t very perceptive. However, Ted seemed like he was floating instead of walking. It seemed that Barney noticed too. “Bro, what’s with the “I’m getting married and having ten babies face?”

Robin laughed under her breathe, but Ted’ smile just got wider. “Before Lily made her distress call, I was in McLaren’s having coffee with Victoria.”

Both her and Barney made an “oh” face, eye wide open. “The one that got away Victoria?” she asked. 

“The one that was getting engage Victoria?” asked Barney. 

Ted nodded actively and sat next to his friend. “I called her, she came. She is not engage and she wants to try it again.”

Ted’s smile was bigger than she had seen in a long time and she was utterly happy for her friend. At that moment, Marshall came to end, an empty expression on his face. They all stood up and asked for news. Marshall took a deep breath and chuckled with nerve. “I’m a father.”

They all shared an enormous group hug and she could see tears shinning in Ted’s and Marshall’s eyes. The new father shared is experience with everyone about the birth and Robin suspected a bit of storytelling going on, but she didn’t say a thing. After all, she doubted that the Erikson boy got out of his mother’s womb hurling like Nessie out of the Loch Ness. A couple a minutes later, the nurse came to say that the mother and the child were ready to see everyone.

Lily was sweaty, exhausted and looked like she went through the nine gates of hell. Yet, Robin never found her lovelier, the bundle of joy all crooked into her arms. It was the beauty of a mother and she felt a bit emotional at seeing them both together. The second Barney saw the kid, thought, he started weeping like a grand-mother. “Look at him! He is so adorable!”

Everyone smiled with love and affection for the new family and for the emotional uncle Barney. With his finger, Barney touched the little boy hand. “Thank God, Bro! You took after your mom.”

Marshall struggled to make an insulted face, but gave up fast, looking at his son. “Yeah... You’re right.” The couple kissed and giggled at their son. That was one big happy family.

“What’s his name?” Asked Ted, all excited. Marshall smiled down to Lily. “Well, since I made a promise to Barney that he could choose his middle name if he got me here in time...”

Barney’ smile was worth ten megawatts, while Robin and Ted looked at each other, uncertainty in their eyes. She doubted that had been a good idea.

Lily smiled at her son. “His name is Marvin. Marvin Wait-for-it Erikson.” Everyone took a second or two to think about it. Of course, they all agreed in unison: best name ever. Marshall and Barney high fived and Ted laughed. Robin had doubts that the name would be on the official document, but she let it go. After all, the moment was the most magical moment she had never lived.

Ted brought them all together, under his arms and looked down at Marvin. “Welcome to the family, buddy.”

***

“I can’t believe I’m talking to a therapist.”

It was finally 2012. 2011 had been an incredibly eventful year with the engagement of Barney and hers. Then his split with Quinn and Robin had run away from her ceremony. At least the year finished well with the birth of Marvin Erikson, but Robin had been sick of 2011 and had been grateful to enter a new year. It was already spring now and she felt like 2012 wouldn’t be so much better either.

Sitting on a big leather chair, Robin was looking at the man in front of her. She never –ever- thought she would end up right here. “Usually, I’m not the touchy-feely-talk-about-your-emotions type, but with this, I just had to be a big enough person to admit that I need help.” She chuckled. “I guess this is what growing up feels like.” She stated as a matter of fact, with a full self-belief.

The man in front of her looked at her with a dubious expression. “This is court-mandated therapy. You assault a woman.”

She laughed, pushing away an invisible fly with her hand. “That silly thing!” She laughed nervously again. “I guess we can talk about that.” She took a deep breath and started.

“You see I was going to get married to this great guy, but I ran away the night of the ceremony because I had feelings for my ex-boyfriend; Barney.” The therapist sighed and started to write notes rapidly on his pad. She tried to get a look at it, but his handwriting was too messy.

“Anyway, I’m still trying to figure out things about me and him and everything else in between and well, something happened.”

Robin was at this office and work was getting extremely boring. She had to research the origin of the smilies and seriously, it was hell. She never thought she would have to revisit old MSN messenger and it reminded her of the long and pitiful hours she spent on that chat, talking to her gay boyfriend.

“Disturbing much? Shouldn’t we talk about that instead?”

The therapist sighed. “Just keep to the point, please.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Well, there is this girl I’m working with. Nora.”

“You alright there, Robin?” Nora glided toward her, like an angel on a cloud. She was always all smiles and sparkles, with a perfect little nose. Robin shrugged: “Just bored. What’s with the big smile?”

Nora eyes became shinier and she giggled. “I had a great date with Barney last night!” Robin almost chocked on her coffee. “Say what?”

It was true that Barney had appreciated Nora at their first date a long time ago, but he had already started to see Quinn and nothing with Nora had ever happened. However, Barney never mentioned his intentions of rekindling with Nora in the first place. She went on and on about their fated meeting at the Starbucks last Tuesday morning and how all her feelings for Barney just came in one big wave when she saw him there. The overly cheesy storytelling was making her shudder. Fated meeting? Please!

“You must already think that I'm a horrible person.” She said, a bit exasperate by her own conduct.

He smiled. “Robin, many of my patients are disturbed felons.” He stated. “Last week, one of them mailed me a bag of his feces.” He chuckled. “On the plus side, he remembered my birthday.” She smiled too. He assured her she was doing fine and she continued.

After that diner, Barney did his best to prove he was a good boyfriend and showered her with gift, like flower, chocolate, wine. Finally, Barney ended up coming at the office and signing to her a song before taking her out for lunch.

“Well, finally, I-I just couldn't take it anymore.” She said. “I snapped.” 

He advanced himself on his chair “And that's when the assault occurred?” he asked. 

She shrugged. “Not exactly.”

She stole a bottle of wine from Sandy Rivers’ office and stole Nora’s chocolate.

“So, you're drunk under a desk, binge-eating stolen chocolates.” Resumed her therapist.

She sighed. “Boy, I am not coming across great here, am I?” 

He smiled nicely and added: “This is not about how you're coming across.” He paused. “But no.”

She continued her story, saying it was getting harder and harder to be around Nora, so she jumped at the occasion to get rid of her for a couple of days. Her boss, Sandy Rivers, needed someone to send in France for the G8 summit. Robin had seniority, but she immediately proposed Nora to Sandy. It seemed it would have happened anyway, since Sandy had already decided on her on the pretext he wanted to have sex with her.

“To deal with that rejection from Barney, not to mention your boss must've really hurt.” Intervened the therapist most seriously. “Why don't we dig into those emotions?” 

She grandly ignored him. “Anyway… Barney forgot about one thing when he started to date Nora; his BDSes: Bimbo Delivery Systems.”

“You see, over the years, I've launched a variety of elaborate systems that are always working to get me laid.” Barney explained to his friends wisely. After all, to bang nameless bimbos has been Barney one and only gold since he ex-girlfriend from college, Shannon, dumped a 23 years old virgin him for a business man from Wall Street.

Lily didn’t seem to know if she had to be impress or sad. “I can't believe you go to so much trouble to get laid.” She said and her forever loyal husband jumped in. “Yeah, sometimes I don't even have to shower.” Lily nodded in agreement. “Mama loves it musky.” They high-fived.

Barney said that he needed to absolutely shut everything down before Nora came back and he was quite desperate. He had three days to do everything and as she understood, there was a lot to do. Robin proposed to help him, since she had a bunch a free time this weekend.

“Maybe you should write on your little chart there: Patient selflessly tried to help a friend in need.” She said proudly to her therapist. 

He sighed and gave her a stare: “First of all, this is a crossword puzzle.” She looked at him like he had just told her the most stupid thing she’d never heard. “Secondly, you were clearly planning on using those three days to steal Barney back.” He stated, all very professionally. It pissed her off greatly.

“I am his friend! How dare you!” She pointed at his diplomas on the wall of his office. “God, you think you're so smart just because you went to Harvard and then Princeton and then…” She stopped a second to stare at the diploma. “Wow, Harvard again.” Man, this guy is smart, she thought. It should have made her angrier, but instead she just felt smaller. “Okay, yes, fine. I was I was trying to steal him back.” She admitted.

Robin was at Barney’s apartment, putting in boxes and the items that helped him get laid in the past. They had been at it for almost two full days and they were almost at the end of the list. After a tearful goodbye on the phone to one of his wingman, Robin looked at the list. “One last item on the checklist; disconnect the Cold Call 5000.” She chuckles fondly at him. “What the hell's that?”

Barney explained that he was able to secure the customer database from a company that sells body glitter and high-end pasties. “The Cold Call 5000 will dial every female client between the ages of 22 and 23, and leave the following message: Hi, I know this is crazy, but I saw you on the subway, and I knew we were meant to be. If you believe in destiny, come to MacLaren's tonight and find me, Barney Stinson.”

They had a laugh about the stupidity of women while leaving the apartment and forgot to disconnect the phone. Without them realizing it, the Cold Call 5000 left a message on a voicemail of its one last victim.

At MacLaren’s, both of them were drinking a glass of scotch, talking and laughing together. Robin had not felt this great in months and now that Nora was out of town until tomorrow, she had Barney all for herself. Funny how she always seems to want what she can’t have.

“So, your plan was to be out on the town, dressed provocatively, drinking with another woman's man?” 

She shrugged like she didn’t give a care. “Yeah… There was just one problem, Doc.”

It happened when Robin was trying to convince him to go out in some cool and private club to dance and have some fun like old times, when Nora appeared out of nowhere. She had come back early. Robin was left at the bar; staring at the man she loved, kissing her co-worker amorously.

“Let me guess, you got drunk under your desk again?” said her therapist. 

She scoffed, offended. “No, Mr. Harvard. I handled things a little differently!” Robin actually got drunk under the MacLaren’s booth, while eating chocolate cake and weeping. “I suppose now you want me to talk about how it felt watching Barney and Nora walk off together, right?”

The man just shrugged this time. It made wonder Robin if he was really a therapist for a second. “I'd rather just skip ahead to the assault. My next patient thinks he's God. On the off chance that he's right, I really don't want to keep him waiting.” He joked and it made her smile.

She was still at the bar and Barney had left with Nora to go to an expensive and romantic French restaurant when a blond bimbo that looked taken directly from an American Pie movie came to her. She asked if she knew Barney Stinson. He left a message on her phone that he loved her and it was fate that they met. Robin realized that they forgot to disconnect to Cold Call 5000. She had the chose: she could tell this hoe that it was a mistake and just go home or… unleash this nut bag on Barney and Nora.

“You unleashed her, didn’t you?” the doctor asked. She shrugged.

After telling the address of the restaurant where Barney and Nora were having a romantic diner, the bimbo went running, leaving Robin alone again with her wine. It took her five minutes to feel horribly guilty. She left the bar running, asking Carl to put the alcohol on her tab and took the first taxi she could fine and went to the restaurant. When she arrived, the bimbo was already almost there, running like crazy toward the entrance, yelling Barney’s name. The lovers were still oblivious to it just yet and Robin saw her last opportunity to be a good friend and right before the bimbo got to the restaurant, Robin tackle her hard on the ground.

“Bottom line, I realized that sometimes love means taking a step back.” She said to the therapist. “Barney doesn't know a thing about any of this. But that's why I got court-mandated therapy.” She sighed. “You must think I'm nuts.”

He smiled kindly. “I think you're a really good friend.” Robin had a hard time to believe that and he saw it on her face. “As far as I'm concerned, there was no criminal intent to this assault.”

She smiled. “Well, thanks, Doc! Well, look at us! We got this wrapped up in one session.”

He advanced himself on his leather chair. “Now let's discuss how you keyed the judge's car.”

Damn it.

***

She met him again at a diner near WWN building. She was eating alone at the bar, grumpy and tired when he said hello. He was the last person Robin thought she would come across in NYC: her therapist. Well, he wasn’t really hers, since they had only two sessions, but it felt a bit weird to see him out of his office. He sat next to her and they talked. Not like a patient and a doctor, but like two people, trying to know each other. 

His name was Kevin… something. It was a weird and hard to pronounce Indian name and she gave up on learning it. He was actually quite sweet and funny and they hit off quite well. Little did she know, they met at that diner almost three to five times a week and a month later, they were officially dating.

Her friends thought it was weird that she was dating someone that had been once her therapist, but they changed their mind when they met him. He easily charmed everyone, even Barney. It surprised her a bit. Barney was always the first one to hate all the men she would bring into the group, but for some reasons, Barney liked Kevin. Sadly, she couldn’t say it was a reciprocated feeling.

Kevin had mentioned some apprehensions toward meeting Barney. After all, he was the only one that knew that Barney was the reason she ran away from her own wedding. Kevin and Robin had a long and stressful talk about it. She told him how happy Barney was with Nora and that made her understood that she had to let go. She told him that she realized that since the very beginning her feelings for Barney were mostly just sexual tension and now that she understood that, it was easy for her to let him be with Nora. She thought with all her heart that she told Kevin the truth. After all, she has always been good to lie to herself.

She dated him for a full month before presenting him to everyone. She wanted to be sure of her feelings for Kevin. After every painful moments she went through with Barney (without him even noticing it) she was truly happy to have found someone so calm and good nature. She really liked him and she thought she could love him one day. Armed with the certainty of her feelings, she made the move to present him. Later that night, they both left toward her place, sharing a taxi.

“So that was Barney…” he whispered, looking in front of him. Her eyes felt on his face, his refusing to meet hers. “Yes, that was Barney. Is it ok?” She didn’t want to impose a complicated relationship on him. She wanted him to know everything about that past, so she could be sure that he would stay for her and only her.

“It’s ok. More good looking that I expected, but the rest is the same.” She sighed. Don had said the same thing. Why does people always assumed Barney is an ugly duck when she talk about him. Is she doing something wrong? 

“Really? More good looking?” she asked. He shrugged and smiled a little. “Mostly my ego speaking. I knew he had to be, for a hot woman like you to love him so much in the past. But I wanted to be hotter, you know?” His tone was relaxed and she realized that everything was fine with him and she smiled in relief.

“Anyway, that wasn’t the biggest throw back of the night!” he added. Robin lost herself in deep thoughts for a moment. 

Ted had been dating Victoria for many months now. She always thought that Victoria was the perfect girl for her friend and she was truly happy for him when he talked about proposing soon a week ago. Then, tonight, Ted stayed mostly silence. Finally, Marshall couldn’t take it anymore and asked what was wrong. 

Ted didn’t want to ruin the mood, saying it was Kevin’s night, but her new boyfriend kindly pushed him to talk about what was making him miserable. “I’m a therapist, Ted. I feed myself of people’s problem. Quite literally.”

Everyone laughed and after a minute of silence, Ted dropped to bomb. He and Victoria had broken up the night before. Everyone had their own typical reaction. Robin tapped his hand gently, Lily hugged him, Marshall started asking a bunch of question and Barney left to the bar to order him a glass of a great scotch. When Barney came back with Ted’s drink, another silence came. “It’s ok, guys. I’m sad but I wanted it too. It wasn’t meant to be.” He said. 

“You’ll find her Ted, she’s out there somewhere, searching for you too.” Said Lily, comforting him.

Ted himself changed the subject. “You know my yellow umbrella that I picked up years ago on St-Patrick’s day?” 

Marshall nodded. “The one you stole in a bar, yes.” Everyone chuckled under their breath and Ted made an offended face. 

“I did not steal it, someone forgot it there and I took it.” They all continued to laugh a bit at him and he ignored them. “Well, my point is, I lost it.”

They all showed some sympathy toward him. “I loved that umbrella. I think I forgot it in that girl apartment.” 

Barney’s attention was grasped in a second. “Girl? Which girl? You cheated on Victoria, you son of bitch!” He said, jumping on his seat, excited like a kid. 

Ted chuckled. “I did not cheated, Barney. She’s one of my students and she was having a study group at her place and I promised to pass there for a coffee. There were at least 12 of my students there. No cheating whatsoever.”

Marshall chuckled. “Were they your architecture students or your econ students?” he teased, finding himself very funny. 

Lily rolled her eyes and Ted stared. “Architecture. Seriously Marshall, how long will you find that funny?” 

Barney laughed along with Marshall. “Forever man, forever.” Kevin asked some explications and Marshall happily gave it to him. 

The very first day of the very first class that Ted gave at the University, he got mistaken about the building and ended up in a huge classroom that he thought was for his class. After ten minutes of giving lectures about how to become a great architect, another teacher entered the classroom and interrupts him. This was the room for Econ305 and Ted had left running to his own classroom, completely lost on the campus and embarrass forever. Some students from econ305 still call him on it. 

“You know Ted, if you had wear the Indiana Jones hat that we gave you, that wouldn’t have happen.” Said Marshall wisely.

“Well, this time, they were my students and they were very happy that I came to give them a private lecture about 17 century gothic architectures.” Everyone, except Kevin of course, made some fart noses and Ted crossed his arms on his chest like a child. “She even said that her roommate was quite jealous that her teacher would come.”

Barney lighted up at that. “A roommate? She has a roommate that you have not as a student? Please tell me you tap that!” he begged. 

Ted sighed. “She wasn’t there that night.”

Barney’s eyebrows knitted together, angry. “Ted, how do you expect to bang some hot college girls if you stay so passive?” Barney stood up angry. 

“I don’t want to bang some college girl.” Ted said, but Barney ignored him grandly. 

“Haven’t I taught you anything my friend? You don’t deserve my banging wisdom.” On this Barney walked out of the booth and went to the bar. He came back a second later. “No, this is too big; one person storming out isn’t good enough. Marshall, with me!”

Marshall argued, obviously. “I don’t want to, man!” 

Barney acted like an eight years old and begged him with his big blue puppy eyes. “Come on, bro!” Marshall shook his head, refusing. “I’ll buy you that stupid girly drink you don’t dare to order.” Promised Barney and Marshall stood up in a second. 

“Sorry Ted.” He simply said and stormed out of the booth with Barney in a very fake manner.

Of course, ten minutes later, they were bored and came back to the booth; Marshall’s nursing his strawberry drink. He happily claimed that Carl even gave him a little red sombrero for his drink and Lily gave him a touch of affection on his arms. “Good for you, baby.”

The rest of the night went a bit quieter, but they still had a lot of fun. To compensate for his friend sadness, Barney started to make a bunch a silly jokes and sketches and everyone left the night with a smile.

“Barney did great, making him laugh like this.” Kevin told her. “I think the reason you are such a good friend, Robin; it’s that you are surrounded by good friends.” She smiled widely and openly at this. True, Robin was surrounded by the best of friends.

***

She had never expected to find herself in a situation nearly similar at this, but here she was: sitting on a bench in a main avenue of New York, at 11 o’clock in the evening, holding a way-too-expensive wedding gown to dear life. If she would have been any other woman, she might have cried too, but Robin Scherbatsky was made of strong wood.

July was hot and heavy and she thought it was going to be a great month for her and Kevin. But things started to go out of control earlier this afternoon, when Barney called her at work. 

His voice was only a whisper and he started the conversation with a simple: “I’m sorry.” She had chuckled nervously, asking why. He told her without much excitement that he brought Nora to his place last night. She had expected him to bask in a glorious I-just-had-sex glow like he always do, but it didn’t come. “She asked to see my suit’s room.” She smiled a bit at that. “She saw your wedding dress.” He finally said.

She stayed silence, not exactly knowing what to say. She never in a million years expected him to keep it. When she gave it back to him, she thought he had gotten rid of it, sending it back to the London shop where it belongs. “You- -” She swallowed something hard stuck in a throat and it made her feel like throwing up. “You kept it?” 

He didn’t miss a beat, because Barney Stinson never does. “Of course.”

She could hear the smile in his voice, his resolute affirmation. “It’s your perfect dress, Robin. I had to keep for your big day.” 

She felt like crying but she didn’t know why until she actually told him. “I won’t ever get married, Barney.”

When she left Don for Okinawa, there was already a big part of her that thought this. She couldn’t seem to love someone completely and abandon herself into a man. Plus, the fact that she couldn’t bear any children was definitely destroying the few hopes she had to found someone.

“Don’t say that. You’ll get there. You have Kevin now, after all.” He comforted her. She stayed silent, not knowing what to say. “He may not be the one you will marry, I don’t know. But that guy will come. You are too awesome to not share it with someone else, Scherbatsky.” She laughed a little.

“So, Nora saw a wedding gown and thought you were marrying me in secret?” Robin asked, teasing him. 

He sighed at the other side of the phone. “Let’s just say that she didn’t understand why I still had it. Even after I explained it, she said that it was weird for me to keep holding on to it.”

She smiled wickedly. “You should have told her you kept it for your own cosplay night.” She teased him again. He chuckled, the sound low and manly and a shiver that shouldn’t be there anymore travelled down her spine, sending sparks to the tip of her fingers. 

“I would rock that dress, Scherbatsky. I’ll look like the hottest transvestite on this side of Manhattan.” He said in a very serious manner and she laughed harder. “I’m sure Nora would find you super hot in this dress.” 

He snorted. “She wouldn’t if she knew that 10 butt load of crap I had to pay for it.”

She didn’t say a thing at first and then: “Did you call me so I could take it back?” 

He sighed on the phone. She could imagine him pinching the top of his nose, closing his eyes hard in frustration. “I’m sorry, Robin, but Nora is not very pleased about this and I refuse to throw it away.” Then on his resolute tone he said: “You will wear it one day.”

They made arrangement to meet in a restaurant between his apartment and her work place and she hung up. She looked at her IPhone screen for a long time. She still couldn’t believe he had kept it and truthfully, that fact awakened something in her that she thought was buried deep enough. She imagined her dress, on the simple hanger, hanging in between in favorite black Armani tuxedo and his Ted Baker navy suit he bought last week. She grew a twig of envy toward the fricking dress. Maybe, she had lied to Kevin after all. Maybe Barney wasn’t just some awesome sex toy to her and maybe, she should stop lying to herself.

In anyway, she met him for dinner at Scarpetta on 14th street and they shared a great meal. He ordered the best white wine and paid at the end of the night. She did everything she could to not think this as a date and yet, her heart was leaping toward him without her control. At the end of the night, he passed her the big black bag that contained her gown. “I’m sorry I couldn’t keep it until you need it. It would have been such a great surprise.” 

She smiled. “It would have been.”

He called a taxi but she pushed him to take it. She wanted to walk a bit, she told him. He nodded in agreement and was about to go in when she stopped him. “Thank you.” His eyebrows shot up, a look of surprise on his face. “I mean, thank you for everything.” 

He smiled at her kindly, her heart squeezed. “It’s just a dress Scherbatsky, really. I have a crap load of money, you don’t have to worry about - ” 

She cut him. “No. That’s not just the dress.”

He faced her completely, his arm casually leaning on the open door of the yellow cab. “I never said it, but thank you. Thank you for buying me the most beautiful dress in the world and not being mad that I didn’t wear it. Thank you for telling me a bunch of great restaurant and hook up spots in Okinawa instead of asking me to come back and deal with my failed engagement. Thank you for not abandoning me when I kept falling short of something. And thank you for being... well, you.” 

His smile was blinding and glitter stuck to her eyelashes. His thin lips were tempting more than she could even understand, so she looked away. “Anyway, see you later.” 

He bid her goodbye and jumped into the cab. She walked for a minute or two before settling on the bench she was now sitting on, holding her wedding gown like a life line.

She was with Kevin: gentle, kind, intelligent Kevin. Why did Barney keep coming back into her heart, she never understood. He was a dangerous man, always flocking around, always seeking for legendary and never settling for anything ordinary. She was still surprised by the fact that he was dating sweet and safe Nora. They were so different; yet, Barney was trying to make it work. Barney always tried hard, no matter the challenge and it made her wish to have tried harder herself when they were dating.

Robin knew she did love Kevin very much. He had made his way into her heart and he was very important to her. Yet, one or two hours alone with Barney, joking and teasing each others, she felt completely full of him. He was addictive and she felt guilty the second he was gone. 

They had joked about the waitress with the huge breast: he mentioned a tone of position where he could bang her without having to stop looking at them and she, in a false disgust, explained that this woman would probably float in the sea because of her fake boobs.

This had been stupid; high school level kind of stupid. Yet, she loved every seconds of it. With Barney she could be herself in every disturbing ways without feeling weird or different. They didn’t mention Nora or Kevin for all night and she was grateful for it. It had become a night for them, about them and their old friendship (broship, he would say) that seemed a bit strained recently, since last year. 

She missed that, their friendship. Since Nora and Kevin, they don’t see each other much anymore and with Lily and Marshall busy with their child, group time wasn’t as often as before. Plus, Barney said that he passed much of his free time with Ted, helping picked up chicks to move on from Victoria.

She was fighting tears with all the willpower she possessed when someone sat near her on the bench. It was a pretty woman, small stature, big brown eyes. For some unknown reason, Robin liked her right away. 

“Sorry, do you mind if I sit?” the strange girl asked and Robin said no. They stayed together on the bench for quite some times when the girl said: “I’m sorry, but... Are you all right?” Her concern seemed real and it surprised Robin. Then, she noticed the tears leaving her eyes. She had started crying. No wonder the stranger was wondering about her mental state.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” She dried her tears with her hands and sniffed. “Just a hard day.” 

The stranger smiled, knowingly. “Hard day, or a hard relationship?” Robin didn’t answer. “Hard relationship then.”

Robin chuckled. “You are good.” 

The brunette laughed. “Well... I don’t want to brag but when I was a kid, I was a bit of a detective.” She said, smugly. “Plus, hard relationship? Been there. I lost the man I loved in a car accident. It was on my 21st birthday.” 

Robin looked at her, eyes bigger than jawbreakers. “What?”

The woman chuckled. “I know, right? Life just sucks sometimes.” She stared into Robin’s eyes. “I don’t know anything about you, or your hard relationship, but if you love the guy, try to go for it without regrets. Regrets are the worst. There the one thing you can’t let go of.”

Robin heard a group of people yelling at the corner of the avenue and the stranger turned her heads toward them. She signaled them with her hands and stood up. “That’s my cue for my dramatic exit.” Robin laughed and she waved goodbye to the girl. 

The girl stopped after a couple of step and turned around. “You know, strange woman crying on a bench, three deep breaths.” She said, holding three fingers in front of her. 

Robin blinked. “Sorry what?” 

The woman laughed. “Three deep breaths. Sometimes, it’s all you need.”

The petite woman joined her friend and it started to rain just a little. Robin threw her one last look before closing her eyes and took one deep breath. She missed the girl opening her big yellow umbrella before she walked away between breath number two and three and finally, when she finished, she opened her eyes and in a storm of glitter and rain, he was standing right in front of her.

“What are you still doing here? It’s been an hour.” He teased her, smile crooked. Then, the rain started to fall harder and he grabbed her arm and walked her under a small roof at an entrance of a closed shop, grabbing the bag holding the dress. 

His was so very near of her, his eyes toward the sky. His blond hair was darker because it was a bit wet and a drop of water was flowing on his skin, starting from his cheekbones and her eyes followed it, until the drop disappeared into his dress shirt. His tie was slightly unhooked and the two first button of his shirt were undone. “What are you doing here?” She asked, finding her voice.

He looked down at her, his eyes the bluest of blue. “I forgot my phone at the restaurant. I came back for it and saw you.” A silence felt on them. “What were you doing here?” 

She took a moment to think about it. “I was receiving unasked advices from a stranger who lost the love of her life in a car accident on her 21st birthday.” She said in one small breath. 

He looked surprised for a moment and then his eyes sparkled, his smiles teasing: “Yeah… a classic in New York.” She giggled and her hand found the opening of his suit. The dress was lying forgotten on the ground. She caressed his suit, almost absent-minded, eyes focusing on his chest.

“What’s wrong?” he whispered to her. Her eyes met his and something in her exploded, showing her things she didn’t know she had in her. Tears filled her eyes and he looked worried. He was about to say something but she grabbed the knot of his tie and pull him in a long-awaited kiss.

His breathe smelled like the bottle of white wine they shared an hour ago and his tongue tasted like the raspberry sorbet he ate for dessert. But deep within that kiss, he just tasted like Barney: something dangerous and forbidden, like her first Cuban she smoked in secret in her dad’s office. Her hands found his scalp and she caressed it with her nails. He growled deep in his throat and her lips left his to taste the skin on his neck. He still smelled spicy and manly with a hint a rain and her heart implode in her chest.

Her hands crisped his white shirt, her head looking for a new angle to taste more of him. When (finally!) his tongue slipped into her mouth, he grabbed her head into his hands, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. She pressed her body against his and through the cold rain, he was warm and inviting and she burned, like a long time ago, like she thought she would never burn ever again.

His phone rang in his coat pocket and he groaned in her lips. “Ted has the worst timing…” She giggled, her teeth grazing his bottom lips. “Then forget about that phone.” She begged, her hand grasping his belt buckle and pulling him closer. His hands found her hips and behind, his lips caressed her pulse point on her neck and she melt, puddle at his feet.

His phone didn’t seem to stop, so he let go of her. “Just let me tell Ted to get bent and I’m yours.” She smiled, her eyes sparkling, her hand playing with his dark pink tie. Barney took his phone and looked at the screen. His face full of desire fell and she grew cold. He didn’t look at her once and backed off in the rainy street, turning his back on her and putting his phone to his ear. “Nora, hi.”

Her skin became colder and she fisted her hands, nails scarring her palm. She looked at his back, broad shoulder slouching just a little bit; his free hand went to play with his ear, while talking to the phone. She couldn’t hear much of his whispers, but she wished he would hang up and look at her. She resisted every temptation in her body that was telling her to embrace him, to put her arms around him, her head resting on his shoulder blade.

She made two steps back, her head hitting the closed door behind her. She closed her eyes and took three deep breathes. When she opened them again, he had hung up and he was looking at her, hands his coat pockets, rain everywhere on him. His blue eyes were clear, a color she knew meant sadness and guilt. He looked at her for a long time before pulling his phone out again. “I’ll call you a car, you’re wet.”

She bit her tongue to stop the yelling that was building in her throat. “Really? That’s what we are going to do? Ignore it?” She was so pissed off she could slap his ridiculously high cheekbones. 

He sighed, looking up at the dark sky. “Robin, it’s past midnight, it’s raining, and we are in the middle of an empty street. This is definitely not the right moment to have The Talk.”

He was angry too and she wondered if he was angry at her or himself. She wanted to push her luck, to ask him to have The Talk now. She wondered if it was a good idea. He talked to a driver on the phone, giving the address to pick them up and he hung up. She tried to get his attention again. “Barney...” She whispered, his name sounding more like a question than anything else.

He growled, but there was nothing sexy about it. (Except for the fact that she found him sexy with he was angry) Then, he yelled something incomprehensible in the empty street, his voice bouncing on the walls of buildings. “You are infuriating, Scherbatsky, you know that?” 

She grew angrier at him that she had been in a long time. “Sorry? I may be the one that kiss you, but you, mister, responded quite eagerly!” She yelled, pointing a finger at him.

He scoffed and passed a hand through his wet blond hair, making water splash around him. “I’m sorry.” He said. “I’m not angry at you, more at me.” 

Her accusing finger fell down and noticed how broken and vulnerable he just seemed. She said she didn’t understand, why would he be angry at himself? She took his arm and brought him back under the roof, away from the rain. She thought it would be about Nora and when she voiced her concerns, he brushed it off. 

“I am not concern by Nora. That is mostly the problem.” Robin held up his stare and he sighed. “We are both in a relationship right now, we were both engaged too at some point, but all of this doesn’t matter because 3 years after we broke up and I’m still ready to hook up with you at anytime, damn the consequences, it seems.”

She didn’t know what to say, so she just bit her lower lip. He approached himself, his body warm near hers like a fire in winter. “Robin, I said it before and I say it again: we are not friends but ex-lovers and I can’t seem to move on from you and I hate it.” His eyes were dark with fire and rage, his jaw set in stone, the muscles of his neck were straining. His body was as hard as a rock, like he was fighting against himself.

The lights of black car blinded them for a moment and the driver used his klaxon to signal them. Barney grabbed her forearm, rough and demanding, used his other hand to grabbed the bag holding the dress and walked toward the cab his long step. She was stuck to follow him under the rain, her arm in pain. She could try to fight it, he would let her. But she didn’t, the anger in his eyes like she’s never seen was still unsettling her. Barney was normally vulnerable, like a little boy. This is what he was trying so hard to hide in ordinary circumstances, but that anger. She didn’t know he could feel that much anger.

In one big move, he opened the door of the car, threw the dress inside and he put her right at the door before looking at her in the eyes. She tried to speak but he cut her: “I don’t want to hate you, Scherbatsky, so for now, just go home.” He unceremoniously let go of her arm, turned around and walked away.

She sat in the car and the cabbie said: “Hi!” She looked up and saw Ranjit there, smiling at her. “Ranjit!” She said. He smiled, saying that Barney asked him to come and get her personally.

She looked out of the window and told him she wanted to go home. Barney had been a bit violent, angry and told her he might hate her, yet, he called Ranjit to please her. Leave it to him to be inconsistent.

At home, she took all of her wet clothes off the second she entered the apartment and went into the shower. She stayed for quite some time and when she got out; her skin was red from the hot water. She wrapped herself in a fluffy pink towel that Lily had bought her and she went to sit on her bed. She took the body lotion she had on her night stand and started to apply it to appease her red skin.

She stopped for her second on her right arm. Through the red skin of the hot shower, she saw the mark of his hand that was holding her forty minutes earlier. She traced them slowly, wondering if he really held her that strongly. She should be right down pissed off at him. She should call Marshall and tell him to slap Barney into the next year for that. Yet, she felt weirdly calm about it all. Barney had always been a one emotion kind of guy (the awesome emotion). He never wanted people to see anything and that’s why that seeing so much anger and frustration in him made her feel so much nearer of him. She had definitely gone crazy.

She went to bed naked, a hand on the mark on her arm that was disappearing fast. She fell asleep thinking of his kiss, his fire and the glitter on his eyelashes.

***

To be continued…


	3. Part three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How does it feel, to be so much in love?”  
> She chuckled and looked at the sky too. “Blinding.” She answered simply.   
> Love was blind after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note:   
> To all who follows this story, thank you so very much. This is part three of Glitter in the air and the very last part.
> 
> I want to spend a couple of lines to express my gratitude for those wonderful reviews. I read them all carefully and appreciated every word. I love writing and sometimes, I forget how much. Yet, you supported this small and simple story very well with me, that I felt confident enough to reach the end. You were few, but you were strong, thank you.
> 
> I hope it will be a satisfying ending for all of you as it was for me as I wrote it. I might not write about Barney/Robin anymore after this, for I think I expressed what I wanted about them. 
> 
> Again, it’s an un-beta chapter, so I ask kindly to bear with me.

GLITTER IN THE AIR

PART THREE

 

“We broke up with Kevin? Why did we break up with Kevin?” Lily shook her head.

Robin sighed. “No Lily. I broke up with Kevin, not you.” She said, emphasizing on the “I”. 

“Doesn’t matter!” Lily turned her head around and yelled at somewhere in the apartment. “Marshall, we broke up with Kevin!”

Marshall appeared out of the bathroom, looking like a deer looking at a car coming fast on him, his son strapped on him like a baby kangaroo. “We did? But we love Kevin!” Lily gave him her “now we don’t” look and he shut up.

“Lily, I’m fine, you don’t need to hate Kevin. I did the breaking up.” Lily gave her the “where’s the poop” eyes, but she ignored them. Lily went for another approach. “Do Ted and Barney know? You could go and bro out with them?” 

Robin’ smile was earnest. “That would be fun!” 

Robin stood up and went to the kitchen to grab a beer. She continued to talk to Lily. “I texted the news of my new celibate state to Barney this morning. So he can buy me an expensive bottle of scotch to make me feel better.” She came back to the living room smiling maliciously.

Lily returned it. “Well played, girlfriend!”

She curtsied. “Thank you.” She sat on the couch near her friend. “But haven’t told Ted yet, I’m a bit fearful about it.”

Marshall was bouncing to amuse his son and Lily was looking at them with affection. She asked distantly “Why’s that?”

“I didn’t want to talk about break up to Ted on the phone after his own with Victoria. In case he’s still sore about it.” She explained.

Lily was about to answer back when her son started to cry. “Sorry, Robin. He must be hungry.” Robin shrugged, showing that she didn’t mind. She normally hated crying babies, but her little nephew was the cutest boy in New York. Marshall went back from the kitchen, saying they were out of pumped milk. “Well lucky you, son of mine. You’re gonna have the boobie!” teased Lily and took her son out of Marshall Kangaroo pouch.

When Lily disappeared in Marvin’s room to feed him, Ted entered the apartment. He said hi to Marshall and saw Robin. “A beer? What a wonderful idea.” At his turn, Ted went to the kitchen and came back with a bottle, sitting on the couch near his best friend. “So what’s new guys?” Ted asked. 

He didn’t even finish his question that Marshall blurted it out: “Robin broke up with Kevin!” Robin rolled her eyes so far away that she thought they would back off his her head.

Ted took a sip of his beer. “Well that’s the season of break up. Barney just told me he broke up with Nora.” 

Marshall made a helpless expression. “We broke up with Nora too? Man!” 

From Marvin’s bedroom, Lily yelled. “That’s a good thing! She was nice but didn’t fit Barney at all.” Ted and Marshall shrugged in a way that meant; if Lily says it, it’s because it’s true.

A part of Robin just started to dance. Her heart was doing weird palpitations and some UFOs were flying in her stomach. Could Barney had left Nora for her? Could this kiss mean as much as she had hoped? She lost herself in thoughts of naked skin, sweat, shallow breath, spicy scents and glitter. Ted brought her back on her with a hand on her shoulder.

He asked if she was alright about the break up and she brushed him off. “I liked him but he talked about children and everything, so it’s better that way.” 

It’s at that moment that Lily came back with her son cradled in her arms. “I know you said you don’t want kids, Robin, but you might change your mind one day. Breaking up with someone for this, it’s a bit of a stretch, don’t you think?”

Robin fixed her beer bottle in her hands, playing with it. “Guys, it’s not just that I don’t want children…” They were all looking at her, expecting her word with badly hidden anticipation. She felt the stress of finally telling them, years after knowing, they deserved to know after all. She stood up, closed her eyes and took three deep breathes. When she opened her eyes, the look of worry was on her best friends’ faces. 

“I can’t have them.” She said in finality. “I’m only 5% fertile or something like that. I can’t bear children.”

Marshall was the nearest and came to crashed her against his huge body, Ted following him. When they let her go, Lily almost threw her son in her husband arms and hugged Robin with all the maternal instinct she had, tears in her eyes. “Since when do you know?” 

Robin put her chin in the crook of her friend shoulder. Even though Lily was much smaller than her, it felt quite comfortable. “A couple of weeks after my engagement to Don.”

Ted had the biggest reaction. “That was more than two years ago!” She felt the reproach and anger in his statement, but Robin couldn’t blame him.

Robin let go of Lily. “I know. It’s just...” She looked at her best friend in the world, teary-eyes. “You had just announced you were pregnant and then I couldn’t find the courage.” She felt tears threatening to overflow. “I didn’t want to ruin being a mother to you.” She finally admitted. 

Lily started to cry and hugged her again. “You would never do that!”

Funny thing was that she felt guilty for these two years, every time she saw Lily’s big belly or her son crying. She had always wanted to tell her friend, but a part of her thought that because of the defect her uterus had, she would ruin Lily’s parenthood, that Lily herself would feel guilty about showing up her son to her every time. Yet, hearing Lily saying that everything would be fine, she felt fine too.

12321

She left her friends in the living room for the rooftop, where she lighted up a cigarette. A small laugh came to her ears. “Thought you stop smoking?” 

She looked back at Ted and smiled. “Yeah... No I didn’t.” He laughed again and stood at her side, looking at Manhattan with her.

“Robin, I’m sorry.” She knew he was talking about her infertility. 

She shrugged. “I never wanted children, Ted. So it’s better that it happened to me than to someone else like Lily.” She blew smoke. “I’m fine.”

He looked at her with his puppy eyes. “You shouldn’t let that stop your relationship with men.” 

She chuckled a bit at the irony. “Ted, you are the one that want a wife with 2.5 kids, so sorry if coming from you, it’s a bit farfetched.” He continued to look at her in that weird fuzzy way and she suddenly got scared of what he would say next.

“For you, I would give up children, Robin.” She had been right to be scared. 

She stepped back a little, giving herself space. “Say what?” 

His eyes were all mushy and shiny and she realized what he was going to say, way before he did. “I love you, Robin. It was always you.” She was going to say something, but he cut her.

“Don’t say anything now. You know how important you are to me and I watched you suffer through a bunch of dead end relationship. When I thought you were getting married, it really killed me and I’m sorry for putting this on you, but I really love you and I want to be with you.” He explained in one big breathe. She didn’t know exactly how to respond.

Truthfully, when they dated, years ago, she told him that she loved him and she did so. It was her first time to say the L-word to a man and she never regretted it. Ted was kind and safe. He cherished her like a doll and did everything for her. She had felt blessed by his presence in her life and breaking up with him had been really hard on her. She had been a mess for weeks and it took time for her and him to be best friends all over again.

Ted was the perfect boyfriend and he would be the perfect husband and for a moment, Robin wondered how happy she could be to throw herself into his arms. A flash of bright blue eyes and wicked smile that made her stomach turned on itself appeared in her head, squeezing her heart. Then, reason rushed into her brain. 

“I didn’t have only dead end relationship.” She argued a bit weakly. 

Ted gave her his “are you kidding me” look. “Robin, you dated Barney. How is that not dead end?”

Her heart hurt for a moment there. Her knuckles tickled, telling to punch Ted really hard in the guts. She ignored her anger took a long puff of her cigarette, looking at the skyscrapers of New York.

There was a reason why they broke up the first place, Ted and her, and it was still there. “Ted, we broke up because you want marriage, kids and stability. I want to travel the world. We don’t fit. You fitted better with Victoria than with me.” She felt a bit bad to mention his ex, but she did believe deeply that Victoria had been the One for Ted. “I don’t know why you two broke up, but it doesn’t mean that you and I are meant to be. It just means you are sad now.”

He shook his head actively and took her hands into his. “No! I broke up with Victoria because of you.” 

She blinked away the surprise. “Say what?” 

He looked at her eyes, his soul vulnerable. “She said that you were between us. The she felt our past was stopping me to go the distance with her. She wanted us to stop being friend and I couldn’t, so I broke up with her; because you are more important.”

Robin felt quite moved by his confession and a part of her wanted to leap into his embrace. “Ted, I can’t tell you how much our friendship means to me and what you did really mean a lot, but I’m not sure...” Then, her phone vibrated in the back pocket of her jeans. She stopped looking at Ted for a second and read the text. Barney had sent her a meeting place and an hour. She looked up to Ted again. 

He smiled. “Gotta be somewhere?” 

She smiled, sorry. “Kinda...” 

He nodded. “Go then. Think about what I told you and give me your answer later.” She smiled at him and gave him a small kiss on his lips. 

“See you Ted.” Then, she fled.

12321

Barney asked her to meet her at a Junior’s on the 44th, near Time Square. She left Lily and Marshall’s place faster than the road runner. Except that instead of running away from the coyote, she was running toward him. Her three friends felt a bit lost, seeing her leave so fast, but she didn’t think about it much.

She rushed to her place and jumped into the shower. She left the curls of her hair untouched, just the way he like it. She used an old soap in adored in when they were dating; she put on a short skirt and pushed up the girls. She checked her reflection in the big window bay of the restaurant one last time and entered. He was already drinking a chocolate milkshake. She sat in front of him, playing with her hair.

His smile was strained and he looked a bit melancholic, but Robin didn’t let it get to her. She gave him her biggest, warmest smile. “Hard to believe you would choose Junior’s of all the places.” She teased. 

His laugh was nervous. “I had a cheesecake craving.” 

He sipped some milkshake with the straw; his right leg had a tremor. He was playing with the knot of his tie, cracking his neck like a nervous tick. Well, he was definitely nervous. Gone was rage and fire of two days ago. The angry animal was mostly a little puppy under stress.

She passed her hand in her hair again and realized she was having nervous ticks too. The waitress came and they ordered the same cheesecake and she added a black coffee. He evaded any contact with her eyes, but so did she. When, finally, the waitress came up with the order, they both reached to the same fork. He let it go first and let her to take it. She grabbed it fast and devoured her cake like a maniac.

When she was finished and licking her fork, she noticed his plate was still untouched and when her eyes met his, they were dark and she felt completely naked under his stare. Five minutes ago, she thought the wild best had left, leaving a scared little boy and yet there he was again, the wild Pacific Ocean boiling is his eyes making her shiver. 

She cleared her throat: “Didn’t you have a craving?”

He blinked, like he was leaving a state of mind, the ocean in his eyes instantly disappeared. “Sorry?” he blinked again, the tremor in his leg reappearing. 

“The cheesecake.” She clarified, pointing at it. “I’m gonna eat it if you don’t.” 

His voice became very high pitch: “Please don’t!” He cleared his throat. “Don’t. I – I’m eating.” He took a fork and took a huge bite.

“Did you call me to talk about…” She let out the rest of the sentence lost itself in the air, making eyes that were saying that he knew what she was talking about. He almost chocked on his food. She grabbed the nearest napkin and held it near his chin. He took it and thanked her with a sign of his head. 

After the color purple left his cheeks and laughed a bit. “That was smooth.”

He threw the straw of his milkshake in her empty plate and took a large sip. “Yes, Robin, I called you to talk about that kiss.” He smiled nervously and played with his watch. 

She smiled too. “Do you really want to do this in a Junior’s?” She teased him. 

He chuckled. “Wanna take a walk outside then?”

She agreed, he paid and they left. They mostly walked together toward the north, passing the busy part of Time Square, but stopped around 57th street and sat on an empty bench somewhere on Broadway. 

“Listen Robin, it’s hard to say it, you know how I am not the best confronter of feelings, but…” He took a deep breathe. “I never really stopped thinking about you.”

His eyes were clear and beautiful and the shade that she knew was honesty and her heart jumped into her throat, making her feel sick and light-headed in the same time. She found her courage and dare to ask: “Always?”

His smile was sad and her heart broke a little. “I did love Quinn, but your impendent wedding ceremony was crushing me until it was hard to breath. I didn’t understand it much, but she did. So she left.” He played with his sleeves nervously. “I was never in love with Nora.” He told her, his tone final. Her hand reached for his wrist, just above his silver watch. “I wanted to prove myself I could be with a nice girl in a serious relationship without feeling the pull towards you.” His fingers caressed the hand holding him. “It’s just another lie.” He whispered under the sound of the crowd around them. 

“All of this is frustrating, because we tried and...” He didn’t finish his thought and simple held her hand. “I can’t be in a relationship. I should have known when I failed you.”

She played with the lapels of his suit. “Barney...” she tried to say, but he interrupted. “The thing is, Robin, if I can’t do it with you, I can’t do it with anyone else.” 

His eyes were sad and clear and she was in pain just to look at his vulnerability. “You didn’t fail me. I failed you.” She finally said.

He looked surprise, but mostly lost. It was something she never – ever – wanted to say to him. She was scared and she didn’t even know how to form the word to explain it, but seeing him so broken, she realized that his torment might have been her fault all along. So, in whatever insufferable pain it would put her, she decided to tell the truth.

“Three years ago, when we broke up, it was because of me, not of you.” His eyes were searching answers on her face. 

“I don’t get it. I’m the one that failed.” He repeated. “I tried to make you happy and I couldn’t. You walked away from me day after day.”

She had some difficulties to find her breath, but she did. “I walked away because of me. Because I was scared of your love for me and I didn’t felt ready.” She smiled with all the courage she possessed. “But I am now. I’m ready to be with you. To be loved by you.”

She had many ideas of how it could turn out, but she didn’t expect this. “I’m not.” He told her, his tone finale. 

It froze her deep within her heart, like her blood stopped pumping through her. “You – you’re not?”

He stood up, massaging the back of his neck. “Robin, you can’t throw a bomb like that and say: let’s be together, I am O.K. knowing you love me. It doesn’t work that way.” He seemed angry like two nights ago. 

She stood at his side. “I don’t understand, isn’t it why you ask me here after breaking up with Nora? To be with me?” 

He sighed long and painfully. “No.”

She took a step back and looked at her shoes for a moment to find her strength again. When she looked up at him again, his eyes were sad. “I called you because I wanted to say... I give up. I’m through trying to get you, to make a fool out myself. I won’t do it anymore.” She wanted to say something, her lips moving, and no sound coming out. “Even more now that I know I was into this relationship more than you were.”

People passed fast at their sides, some even between them, making Robin feeling so very far away from him. She tried to speak again, but her brain didn’t seem connected to her mouth.

“I told you I loved you and I never asked you to say it back, I never expected it! But I thought that in time, it would come. That I wasn’t over my head in this all by myself.” He sighed like something painful was stuck in his chest. “Now you are telling me that it was me loving you that made you unhappy. How the hell is this supposed to make me feel in your head? Because I feel like shit, right now.” His face was red and the muscles of his neck were throbbing. “Like a disgusting shit, because my girlfriend didn’t want to be loved by me.”

Her eyes stung, like she had dropped soap in them, something very big and strong was obstructing her chest cavity. He was waiting for an answer and she managed to get something out. “I get it.” She croaked. “I’m sorry.” was all she said.

His smile was thin and ironic, his eyes empty. “Give me a couple of days of laser tag and bimbo-ing and we will back to normal.” He promised her, knowing that their friendship was important to her. Again she felt like he was being the bigger man in this for her, for what she wanted of him, while he just tolerated the pain and lived with it. 

She nodded and he approached himself, kissing her cheek, whispers on her skin. “See you Scherbatsky.” 

She smiled and he left; a trail of glitter behind him. For the first time, instead on ignoring it, she stared at it, floating and sparkling in the air, hoping she would never forget what it feels like, to see him so magical.

12321

She left Broadway in hurry to go back at Lily’s. When she entered the apartment, Ted was still there with the married. They were all watching some TV, Marvin probably asleep in his room. 

She stopped in front of the door, wondering what to say when she ran to the toilet without a word and threw up the entire content of her stomach. She felt a hand touched her back and massage it. It was Ted. 

“Sorry.” She apologized when she finished. She sat on the bathtub and accepted the glass of water he was giving her. She drank a bit and chuckled. “I guess I ate the cheesecake to fast.”

He didn’t ask or say anything and simply sat at her side. They stayed in silence for a moment looking at their reflection in the bathroom mirror. Ted sighed. “It’s not going to work, isn’t it?” She didn’t say a thing, so he asked. “Robin, do you love me?”

She took some time to think about it. She guessed that in a weird fraternal way, she did. In the way he loved her? No, she didn’t. She used too. He had been her world for more than a year and he made her very happy. Even thought her she admitted that she always had a strong sexual attraction for Barney, Ted had been the very first to hold her heart. It is why she felt cruel, cold and she hated herself. 

“No.” She whispered, tears in her eyes.

She saw his heart broke in his brown eyes and she felt even worst, but she held his stare, being strong for the both of them. “Is it because of Barney?” he weakly asked. 

“No.” She repeated. She didn’t believe in her answer.

At first, she thought that maybe it was. If she never had fallen for Barney, maybe she would be Ted’s girlfriend again, yet a part of her knew; it wasn’t because of him. She really couldn’t love Ted like she did in the past. She has grown up and gone were the little dreams that maybe their life and dreams could fit together. Her love had transformed itself into affection and in her heart; his irreplaceable spot had changed from one of a lover to one of a friend. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “It’s fine. It was a long shot anyway.” 

She took his hand and held it tight. “I know that you might think I am the One, but you just haven’t met her yet, Ted.” 

He laughed without humor. “How would you know?” He asked, cold. It was mean, but she deserved it a little. She never truly loved like Ted did. 

“Well let’s ask experts then.” She stated, standing up. “Let’s ask the married what it was like finding the One.” She grabbed his arm and brought him in the living room, where Lily and Marshall were. The little redhead asked right away if she was alright and Robin brushed it off. “Perfect! Ted has a question!”

He stumped on the couch near Marshall, pouting. She knew he didn’t want to ask so she kicked his ankle. He looked at her angrily, but she could still see his broken heart too. She kicked him again and he asked. Lily and Marshall looked at each other lovingly.

“I thought she was the prettiest little woman I’ve ever seen. I could only see her every time she was in the room and not once I doubt I would love her forever.” Lily and Ted aww-ed and Robin rolled her eyes hard. Mushy stuff wasn’t her thing: she blamed Canada. 

She pressed Lily to tell her side of the story. She smiled all lovey-dovey, lost in memories. “Every time he was near me, everything seemed beautiful, everything smelled good...” She stopped looking at Ted to explain and put her eyes on Robin. She gave her a knowingly look that scared Robin slightly. “I would looked at him and see glitter everywhere.” 

“Well... damn it!” Robin cursed under her breath.

12321

A week after Barney’s refusal and Ted love confession, the dynamic of the group changed a little. Of course, no one really knew why Barney was distant. He made some excuses about a lot of work and a lot of strippers that felt lonely without him. Everyone swallowed it easily, but Robin grew more and more scared that she had hurt him too much for him to never come back near her again.

However, the awkwardness between her and Ted was quite evident and it was making Lily quite pissed off. “Why did he went and said that! I mean, I understand that he loves you and all, but man, he dumb!”

Later that week, after a lot of coaxing from Lily, they all met at MacLaren’s. Ted and she had been evading each other on purpose, not knowing how to speak to one another. Barney wasn’t there just yet and she was stuck sharing her side of the booth with Ted, making things even weirder. He kept trying to put a bigger distance between them, not even letting their shoulder at the same level. She was getting annoyed. Then, in a flash of exuberance and swagger, Barney came.

He didn’t look any different than usual. Robin was searching for clues that he was still angry or sad, but Barney, professional of denial, wasn’t showing a thing except for his mask of awesomeness. He pulled up the chair near the booth and when he sat, his knee touched hers. He didn’t pull away or act like Ted under the contact. At first, his easiness around her made her feel a bit better, thinking they could really become friends again without anything left between them, until he started to flirt with other girls. 

Only one drink, he had already his tongue in the mouth of a redhead near the jukebox. She felt the pain of his rejection as strong as that moment on Broadway. Thankfully, after a couple of minutes, the redhead slipped him her phone number and she left. “Already?” asked Marshall. Barney never had a habitude of not closing on a woman. “Got her number, at least...” he muttered, definitely mad about not leaving with her.

Then Marshall and Barney started a conversion about Fantasy Guy and Food Guy at their work. Even though Robin never understood why GNB needed a guy for every little thing, Marshall’s tone was surprisingly melancholic. When Robin asked him why, he took a deep breath before announcing to everyone the news. “I quit GNB.”

Barney’s glass, that was half way near his mouth, stopped. “Say what?” 

Lily showed comfort to her husband that seems a bit blue. “I’m sorry, Barney. I know how much you like us working together, but I had a great offer in an environmental firm.” 

Since law school, Marshall’s dream had been to be an environmental lawyer, saving the earth against big bad polluting industries, but wanting to pay his bills and provide for his wife and son, he had took the job Barney had offered. Working for a big bank was not really against his beliefs, but he hadn’t been much happy with it. In the end, working with Barney and making new friends, he ended up liking it quite a bit and it surprised Robin that he would quit.

Barney seemed crestfallen. “I can’t believe it! You are abandoning me!” 

Marshall gave him a heavy tap on his shoulder. “I’m sorry man, I’m gonna miss our conference calls.” 

They all knew that those conference calls were actually Barney and Marshall drinking beer on the rooftop of GNB, throwing the empty cans at pigeons. Barney was still incredibly down. “You are leaving and in 4 months it’s Ted that’s leaving... Man that’s so depressing.”

Ted was doing the last touch up for the new GNB building and the opening was in December, on Christmas Eve. He had been stressed for weeks now, that the opening of his building was coming so soon and he felt like nothing was done. Barney had been of great support, coming to the building site. 

Ted saw that now, it was his friend that felt the need for moral support. “It’s fine, buddy. Hey! I’m buying this round!” Ted stood up and went to the bar and Robin moved on the booth, leaving a place for Barney to sit, he took it.

Ted came back with drinks, but the ambiance was a bit sour. It’s what made Robin realized that Barney was definitely the mood maker in their tight group, his mood affecting everyone. After a moment of silence, Lily started to fiddle on her seat. After a minute or two, she exploded. “I can’t take it anymore! That secret is too big!” Marshall trying to calm her down but she threw the ball anyway. “I’m becoming an art consultant!”

Coming back from their shock, they all began to cheer; everyone smiles back on their faces. Funnily, Robin forgot all her problems for a moment, looking at the radiant faces of Lily and Marshall. Lily had studied Arts in college and the fact that she was simply a teacher had always bumped her a little. To have found that job was truly wonderful news.

Barney started to jump on the spot. “Oh! Oh! Let’s get champagne! Come choose it, Scherbatsky!” Like a wave on a beach, he grabbed her and brought her with him at the bar to order. She carefully chose a ridiculous expensive one without him noticing. 

Then, waiting, she playfully bumped her shoulder into his. “Hey, you have cigars hidden somewhere in this suit?” 

He arched one of his eyebrows. “Obviously.” He stated. He smiled at her, but a shudder went through her spine. His smile was cold, his eyes frozen. Suddenly, everything about his body language was subtlety telling her that he wasn’t there yet. He was still incredibly mad. She didn’t push her luck and acted like she never saw anything. They went back to their friends with champagne and toasted with enthusiasm. After the afterglow of happiness was slowly surrounding them, Barney flashed them a smile, like he just remembered something.

“Ted! Ted! Ted! I met the perfect woman for you!” They all rolled their eyes. Barney always seemed to meet Ted’s perfect woman and she always ended up being simply another bimbo. “She is guys! She plays bass in a band. I met her at James’ wedding anniversary last Friday. She was a cute little thing.” 

Then he sobered, mentioning she didn’t want to give him her phone number, even thought it was for Ted. “Actually I met her once in the past in a CVS and tried to flirt with her. I guess my last impression wasn’t good.”

Then, it seemed that Lily was already a bit drunk because she stupidly said: “It doesn’t matter; Ted just confessed his eternal love to Robin last week.” She oops-ed the second the words were out of her mouth and the mood became awkward again. 

Barney blinked like a crazy man and looked at Ted. “Did you, now?” Robin saw his Adam’s apple moved, like he’s trying to swallow something big. She was wondering what was happening in his head. He had just discovered that her reaction before their break up had been a subtle way of rejecting his love and now his best friend just confessed to her. She wanted to make him feel better, she wanted him to understand her feelings, even though she didn’t understand them herself.

She never knew why she did what she did, but she wouldn’t regret it.

She grabbed his hand that was holding his glass on the table and intertwined her fingers with his, hoping the spread warmth into his heart. She wanted to yell at him to melt that ice around him and focused on her. It seemed that a part of him understood when he looked at her. On his face, the mask was still on. He had created a lewd smile to go with her move and was probably getting ready to throw a pervert thing in their face. But his eyes were pools of confusion, searching for answers.

Everyone’s eyes fell on their hands, but she ignored them. She smiled at him. “Can you believe it? He totally Tedded up about this.” She sang, acting smug and proud. “I thought he was going to burst into song with an umbrella!” She said and everyone laughed, forgetting the awkward moment and started to tease Ted. Barney tried to let go of her hand but she stubbornly held on to it.

It’s funny, but it’s at that moment, hands intertwined, that she felt like saying it for the very first time. The words “I love you” were pushing at the base of her throat, but she swallowed them back. No matter how overwhelmed she felt, she was strangely at peace, his presence was like an ocean; immense, strong and calming. Now, wasn’t the time or the place, but she felt strength in her she didn’t know she had.

She was in love with him, for real. No “I think I love him” or “maybe there’s something there”. She loved him, truly and powerfully. The first time she thought she did, she had repressed it, refused it and when he had voiced his feelings first, she had thought that she had been wrong about herself. That all of this was going out of control. 

Now she realized she had been in love with him all along. She hadn’t been wrong, simply scared to death. And she had never stopped feeling this way. That explained so much that she found herself quite stupid to never realize it before.

Now all she had to do was to figure out what to do about all this. She really was a mess after all.

12321

Later that night, she was on the rooftop of Lily and Marshall’s apartment, smoking a cigarette. Ted silently placed himself at her side. “You really should stop that.” 

She chuckled. “I was thinking the same thing.” She looked at him, showing her cigarette. “This is officially the last one.” She said proudly. He looked at her like he didn’t believe her. “I’m not saying I won’t smoke my occasional cigars, but cigarettes? I’m done after this one.”

He smiled and she ignored the love she saw in his eyes. “What brought that up?” 

She shrugged, bringing the cigarette at her lips. “I found something more relaxing, I guess.”

His expression is sad and of something else that she can’t identify. She always found hard to read Ted’s feeling and today was not an exception. “You’re in love with Barney.” It wasn’t a question but simply a fact and it threw her back for a moment.

“O.K. How the hell did you do that?” He threw her a questioning look. “I mean, I just discovered that like an hour ago, how the hell did you figure this out?” 

He laughed. “Robin, I think the only one that doesn’t know is Barney.”

She clicked her tongue and took a long expiration from her last cigarette. “He mostly doesn’t care. He nicely told me that he gave up on his love for me.” 

Ted immediately answered. “He lied.” 

Her eyes filled themselves with tears. “You didn’t see him. He wasn’t lying. I hurt him too much.” 

She smoked some more and Ted sighed, looking at the shining view of Manhattan. “Man, I wish you loved me instead.” He teased her and she gave him a deadly stare. “I’m just saying; you didn’t choose the easiest man to love, Robin.” 

She scoffed. “Please! It’s not like I chose this.”

They stayed another minute in silence when Ted asked: “When it started, you think?” She looked at him, now questions in her eyes. “Falling for Barney, I mean.” 

Her eyes looked up, a smile drawing itself on her expression. “It’s stupid.” She said. 

Ted chuckled. “In Robin language, it means it isn’t.”

She laughed and crashed the rest of her cigarette on the wall. “I wasn’t in love per say, but...” He waited, a bit of impatience showing. “Let’s just say that when I look back, all the signs were there for me to see it coming.” She looked down at the ashes and smile. “The very first time he kissed me, the signs were there I think.” 

Ted’s eyebrows shut up in his hair line. “Seriously?”

She chuckled, embarrassed. “I’m not saying it was true love kiss and all that crap, but the reason I slept with him that night, it was the kiss.” She smiled, lost in the memory. “He was so addictive. I was like tasting a great scotch for the first time.”

Ted sighed with melancholy and fell against the wall behind them. “Man, he is your fate.” 

She laughed at him. “Please, fate? Seriously? You are still going to say that?” 

He gave her his look that meant that she was being just too Canadian and she rolled her eyes. “You said it yourself; the day we met, you already noticed him.” 

She sighed, exasperated. “To sleep with him! It was only sexual attraction, really.” She bumped her shoulder on his. “Ted, if it had been fate we wouldn’t have date and I wouldn’t have loved you.”

He smiled kindly at her. “True.” He bumped her shoulder too. “Then, what changed it then? Your sexual attraction toward love, I mean.” 

She shrugged. “When we dated I suppose. I don’t really know.” She laughed. “We just fitted, you know... He was so very fitting for me.” She looked at the stars-less sky. “It’s weird. When you meet someone that fits you so very well, the feeling is hard to explain.” Ted gave her a look that was begging for explications. “It’s different from what you talk about all the time: the fate and destiny thing.” He laughed.

She smiled to herself and said: “I can live the rest of my life without Barney Stinson” He looked at her like she was crazy. 

“Really?” he asked.

She nodded. “I just choose not to.”

Ted haaa-ed, looking at the sky. “I guess it’s kind of a mature way to love someone.” He stayed silent for a moment and asked: “How does it feel, to be so much in love?”

She chuckled and looked at the sky too. “Blinding.” She answered simply. 

Love was blind after all.

12321

The end of the autumn and the beginning of winter passed like a blur. On Christmas Eve they all went to the inauguration of Ted’s skyscraper. They celebrated hard and late and Lily danced with everyone until her feet couldn’t hold her anymore.

On Christmas day, they spent the morning all together and hung-over, eating pancakes made by Lily. Barney had hooked up with so many girls at Ted’s party that he said he had to rest on Christmas day. “I never exploited so much a bathroom stall. Well design Ted! Architect high five!”

Robin was hurt by his antics, but she didn’t let it get to herself. She had hurt him hard and he was in every right to do as he pleased. So for months and months, even though Ted encouraged her to act on it, she hid all her feelings, strangling herself with unsaid “I love yous” and drowning herself in tears she hadn’t cried.

Barney’s coldness had melted away and he seemed to have gone back to his old self again, even with her. They laughed, they teased each others. Everything seemed so very peachy, but Robin was feeling hurt every time he was with a woman, which was every day, because Barney had gone back to his playboy ways.

While she was cleaning the dirty dishes in the kitchen by herself, Ted came behind her. “You should tell him that you love him.” he sang, a laugh disguised in his advices.

“I know! It’s just not easy, ok!” She rubbed the plate so hard that it fell back into the water, splashing her. Ted laughed. “I’m not you, Mosby. I don’t declare my undying love to anyone every week.” It was meant to prick him hard, but instead he approached near her and in her ear, he made a very loud chicken sound.

“I am not a chicken!” She argued, offended. Ted was dancing in the kitchen, still laughing, imitating a chicken. She threw water at him, but he ducked out of the kitchen.

12321

Then, New Year Eve came and she got stuck at work. Sandy was hosting the big New Year countdown like every other year, but his producer, that happened to be his girlfriend, dumped him at the last minute. This is why Barney had invented the rule “Do not love thy neighbour.” Dating a co-worker was the worst idea ever.

Sandy was sad and he started to drink. In the end of the night, two minutes from the countdown, she had lost Sandy all over again for the third time that night. He was probably drunk somewhere and she was sick of getting groped in the mass of people at Time Square and stepping in puck.

She called Barney in total panic. “This is so not awesome!” 

He laughed on the phone. “Forget about Rivers then, do it!” 

She snorted. “Yeah, no. I can’t just go and talk on national TV.” 

He stayed silent for a second on the line and said: “Yeah, you pretty much can.” 

She thought about it for three seconds. “Oh what the hell not!” 

He laughed. “That’s the American spirit, Canada! Now excuse me, I have to stop Sandy Rivers. He is calling a male escort again.” 

He hung up, leaving her out of her mind, completely surprised. The co-producer shook her out of her thoughts and gave her the microphone. “It’s time.”

She never –ever – expected to do the New Year countdown, but when she did, she felt exhilarated and she realized, this is really what she wanted to do with her life. Her dreams were worth fighting for and it renewed her faith in her hard work. 

The road of a journalist had been rockier than she had expected when she finished university in Canada. She had come to the greatest city in the world and thought her success would be instantaneous. She couldn’t have been more wrong. Becoming a respected journalist wasn’t like becoming a teenage pop star, she had gone up and down on the professional ladder and not once, she had reached the top, except that night. 

That night, she had been the most looked at woman in the U.S., everyone watching the countdown. Yet, with all the attention of stranger, she mostly hoped that her friends would be watching.

She delivered her speech, did the countdown and the second she was out of the air, she threw her microphone to the A.D., telling him that she got to go and ran away from Time Square, toward Ted’s place, knowing all her friend would be there.

She arrived around one in the morning, after escaping the crowd. In front of Ted’s building, she saw a crooked homemade sign saying “Puzzle”, but she ignored it and ran upstairs. There was a bouncer at the door that let her in. The place was in a total mess and it smelled of vomit. 

“Dude! Did you open a bar in your apartment?!” She exclaimed, looking at Ted. 

“Puzzle was a big disappointment.” He said, and then he smiled and hugged her. “We all saw it, Robin. That was amazing!” She hugged him back and looked around for the others.

Lily had fallen asleep near the window, resting on Marshall that simply seemed to have passed out. She noticed he was naked under his wife. Ted nodded knowingly. “Beercules made his appearance.”

Beercules was Marshall’s nickname in college when he was really drunk. He had this reputation that no one could drink as much as him and as fast, but whenever he would hold to this challenge, he always ended up naked.

She looked around searching for Barney, when he got out of the bathroom yelling. “Shut your pie hole Rivers, I am not playing sexy donkey with you! The Barnacle does not swing that way!” He strongly closed the door behind him a put a chair on the doorknob to lock it. 

He looked at Ted and her and asked puzzled: “Do I want to know what a sexy donkey is?” 

Ted laughed. “I’m surprise you don’t know.” 

He snorted. “Ted, Ted, Ted. You are talking to the wrong Stinson if you want a 101 class about sexual positions of the gay community. Call my bro!” 

Ted muttered something about the fact that he had a not a real interest in knowing, but Barney ignored him and went to hugged her. “Scherbatsky, you just showed New York how awesome you are!” 

Then, he looked around them comically, like if he was checking if they were being spied on, than he muttered: “I think no one realized that you’re Canadian, so you are fine.” She punched his arm, while he laughed and she hugged him again.

His hand was caressing her hair, his breath was tickling her neck and she held on to him longer than necessary. “You really did great out there, Robin.” He whispered in her ear. 

She never expected it to happen that way, in her ex-boyfriend apartment that was transformed in a bar (with a very cool name) that smelled like puck, but it did. She held him tighter at his waist and put her head in the crook of his neck; her hug became instantly more intimate, she closed her eyes and whispered: “I love you.”

If you want to start a new year with a big bang, say I love you to the man of your dream when he just gave up on you months before. That should do it.

Ted was too busy to nurse the married to notice anything and the others people in his apartment were too wasted to care anyway. 

Barney froze in her arms; all the muscles in his body were hard. She pressed her breast against his chest, the palm of her hand flat again his shoulder blade, feeling them move attractively, her nose nuzzling his neck. The hand on her lower back and the one in her hair trembled, so she just held him stronger. For a moment, he didn’t move and then he backed off, grabbed her arm and went through the front door, down the street.

The streets of Manhattan were still busy because of the New Year and they were surrounded by drunkard and party animals. The smell of puke and piss was actually stronger here then upstairs and when a guy pushed her just to get her out of his way, she was certain that he groped her. Barney was still holding her by the arm and it’s what stopped her from falling flat on her face, she mumbled a thank you. 

He didn’t let go of her like she expected that he would, instead his grip grew stronger and he pulled her hard against him. Because she was tall, their eyes met almost at the same level and she noticed a fire she never saw in his eyes before and it lit her up like the Olympic torch. His teeth were stuck together, his jaw set in stone and the muscles of his neck were moving in a very attractive way, a bit like when he laughed, except now he was angry. Like that night when she kissed him, powerful and hot-tempered.

“Are you kidding me?” he seethed through his teeth. 

She shrugged. “About what?” she asked, all fake innocence and battling her eyelashes. 

His laughed was cold and harsh. “You can just joke about this, Robin!” 

She smiled at him, her heart pounding his way out of her lips. She didn’t know she had the courage to say it again, until she did. “I love you, Barney.” 

The fire in his eyes was still there, but there was something else; hope. “Robin…” He sounded strangled and vulnerable, even though his face was set in stone.

Robin always had difficulties with love declaration. Her first “I love you” was with Ted and even after, it had been hard to say it on repetition, but now, it flowed out of her heart like the a waterfall. It was so easy suddenly, to love him, to show him. Actually, nothing had ever been so easy for her. 

“I love you.” She said again and laughed, exhilarated. “I loved you years ago, I loved you when I was going to marry some other guy and I love you now.” She said, detaching every word. “I was stupid and scared and I’m so sorry that I hurt your feelings and you can hurt me back as much as you want right now, but I know that I love you.”

He looked at her like she was some crazy woman, letting go of her arm and she doubted herself for a moment there. Then, he grabbed her face; fingers entangled in her hair and kissed her, knocking the wind out of her lungs. Glitter exploded behind her closed eyes and the wave of his warmth crashed on her, making her tremble. 

His lips left hers and he placed her forehead on hers, still holding her face, his thumbs drawing patterns on her cheeks. Because of the cold, their breath mingled in a mist between them. 

“Say it again.” He begged; his blue eyes closed. 

“I love you, Barney.” The words were not out of her mouth that he kissed her again, his tongue slipping into her mouth, his right hand finding her lower back and crushing her against him.

Their kiss broke when a girl with punk purple hair crashed into them on purpose and told them to get a room. Robin was going to yell obscenities at her, but Barney laughed and she stopped to stare at his smile. 

“She does have a great idea.” She said, playing with his blue tie, her nails scratching his scalp. He purred like cat, nuzzling her neck. 

“I love when you do that.” He growled on her skin. She took her hand away from his hair, but like a kitten, he turned his neck to follow it, she giggled.

“Let’s go to your place.” She begged him. She never begged for a man before, or for sex in general, but now her body was tired and strained of its loneliness and she wanted him to touch her, to make her body sing like only he knew how to.

His eyes were dark and shining and she knew that he wanted as much as her. “Robin...” She could hear the hesitation in his voice, his vulnerability, so she waited for him, still scratching his scalp. 

“Robin, is this a New Year thing?” he asked, insecure. Confusion probably showed on her face because he started to mumble an explanation. “I mean, is it just you being on a high from your big TV break and tomorrow or the day after tomorrow you won’t want me anymore, or...” he took a long and deep breathe. “Or it’s real?”

He was beautiful and vulnerable and she wanted to enveloped him in everything she is, just to show him how much this was real, how much she wanted him. She kissed him again, sweetly with kindness. Even through the cold of January, his lips were warm and inviting. 

“Barney, let’s just go home.” She implored him and his lips were back on hers in a flash.

In less than five seconds, he let go of her lips and signaled a cab. They both slipped inside, holding hands, shoulder bumping and she giggled again. The road to his apartment was around ten minutes, but because of the New Year traffic, it took much longer, so they passed the time by making out like teenagers on the backseat. When they finally passed the door of his apartment; she was way much more ready for him than she should be.

His stripped himself from his suit jacket and she noticed how red his cheeks and hands were. He didn’t have a coat on, probably lying forgotten at Ted’s and she put her hands on his cheeks to warm him up. “Weren’t you cold without your coat?” She asked in a whisper. 

His smile was simple and kind. “You’re warm enough.”

His hand glided on her stomach and he moved toward her lips, when the song of Darth Vader started, coming from the breast pocket of his jacket lying on the couch. She laughed and he growled. 

“Teeeeed.” He said, dangerously, putting his forehead on hers. 

“Just answer it now, or else he’ll never stop.” She told him, pushing him away. He pouted and reached for the phone that was still ringing.

He went to talk on the phone near the kitchen counter, on hand in his pocket, his back to her. She took a good look at him while he was busy and even thought she always found him attractive, now that she could have him all she wanted, he was even more. 

His free hand left his pocket to open a bottle of Macallan 20 years and poured some in the bottom of two glasses. She heard him mentioned his forgotten coat and her name once or twice, but she didn’t care. She focused on his movements: casual, smooth and manly, his back was straight and eradiating of confidence.

He finally hung up, putting his phone on the counter, took the two glasses in his hands and turned to face her. The second his eyes were on her, she started to unbutton her silk shirt, a teasing smile on her face. He just stood there, looking at her with eyes veiled with desire, licking his lips. She took it off and his eyes focused on her breast. 

“Navy lace bra, my favorite.” He said in a low voice. 

“It’s a coincidence, I swear.” It wasn’t really. She had been wearing lace underwear for months now, mostly going for is favorite color, just in case.

He took the three large steps that was separating them and gave her on glass. However her hand slipped and fell on the floor, splashing his golden liquid on her. 

“Man, I’m sorry.” She bent over to get the broken glass, but a growl, from deep within his stomach stopped her. 

“God, you must be kidding me.”

She looked up to him, thinking he was mad, ready to say sorry again, but his eyes were even darker than before, a tick moving the muscle on his neck. He was staring at her chest and she noticed the scotch smeared across the swell of her breast. 

She started to laugh but it ended up stuck in her throat when his expert tongue went to lick just above the lace of her bra, his free hand caressing her naked back. She crushed herself against him and felt his pleasure through their clothes. 

“Scotch never tasted this good.” He whispered against her skin. She chuckled, her hand scratching the nape of his neck. 

“Well good for you, but I’m thirsty.” She teased.

He looked in her eyes, giving her his own drink that she took and drank while one of his fingers went to push the lace out of her breast, the liquid flowing down on her hard nipple. His mouth and tongue are back on teasing her and she almost dropped her glass again. She tripped on her on feet while trying to get steadier and he laughed, catching her by the waist. He noticed her shaky hands, one arm snared around her to unhook her underwear. He causally threw it on the couch, crushing her against his chest. 

“You have too much clothes.” She said, sounding desperate for him.

He went to take her glass out of her trembling fingers and she unbutton his dress shirt in a frenzy, each buttons revealing white skin, smelling of spices, soap and scotch. She pushed it away from his broad shoulder, feeling his lean muscles moving under her palms. Then, she grabbed his narrow hips and brought his naked chest to her, surprising him and the scotch he was holding spilled again, on his finger and her shoulder. They laughed and she took his glass to put it away on the coffee table, while he kissed the liquid away on her shoulder, stripping of his dress shirt still stuck on his arms.

“I’m getting all sticky.” She said; pushing him away a bit and he moved his eyebrows in a playful manner, his hand cupping on her breast naturally. She hit his shoulder to tease him and he pinched her nipple for vengeance. She gasped, grabbing his arms. 

“You mentioned something about making lots of love earlier in the taxi...” he let lingered in the air and her body responded immediately.

She was going to say something bright and witty, but he urgently grabbed her by the waist, unzipped her pants that he let slipped off her legs. She kicked them away somewhere in the living room and in one fluid movement, he seized her hips and threw her over his shoulder. She yelped of surprise and he laughed, walking them toward his bedroom. He threw her unceremoniously on his king size bed. He stood up in front of her, drunk of the view she was giving him.

“I swear Robin, if tomorrow you throw me away; I’m jumping from my balcony.” He grunted; a sparkle of vulnerability in his blue eyes and she smiled, opening her arms to him. 

“I’ll have to jump with you, then.” He dived into her embrace, giving her his heart and soul in the process.

12321

They spent hours in each other’s arms and when they fell asleep, the sun was already up. It’s her phone that waked her up, ringing in the living room. She got up carefully out of bed, to not wake him up and grabbed her old Japanese style bathrobe he still had in his closet and went to get it. When she reached it, the ringing had stop and her boss had left her a voicemail. He congratulated her for the amazing last minute appearance she made for the countdown and he gave her an hour for a meeting in a couple of days, when he was coming back from his holiday vacations. She was elated, pretty sure that this meeting was for a promotion.

She tiptoed her way back into the bedroom, but Barney was already stirring up. She sat on the bed near him and played with his wild bed hair. He chuckled and then, he coughed hard and sniffed. 

“Did you get sick?” she asked him, putting her palm on his forehead. 

“No, I’m too awesome for sick” he weakly answered, coughing again. 

His skin was boiling and she told him. “Is it a subtle way to tell me I’m hot?” he teased her, pulling her near.

He was going to kiss her, but turned his head in his pillow and coughed again. 

“It’s my subtle way of telling you that you are sick.” He let out a sound of complained and sniffed. “That’s what happened when you go outside in January without your coat.” 

He scoffed. “Whose fault is that, Canada?”

She tapped his shoulder for blaming her and she got up. He complained again. “Where are you going? Don’t go! I’m cold.” 

She smiled and put his duvet over his shoulder, until his it was tuck under his chin. “I’m getting aspirin and water, you big baby. I’ll come back.” He nodded; she put a bathrobe and went to his bathroom. She found everything she needed and went back to give him. 

He took it with a word and then threw her his puppy eyes. “What is it, Barney?” 

He gave her a small like a little kid that just won something great. “Can you make me green tea with honey?”

She scoffed. “You’re a big boy, you can do it yourself!” 

He pouted at her. “Not only did you made me go into the cold without a coat, you sucked my entire energy all night long like some witch and you don’t even want to make me tea.” She groaned, rolling her eyes.

She had forgotten how a big baby he becomes when sick. Last time she had nursed him for a cold, she was dating Ted and she ended up spiking his tea with drugs. As a girlfriend, she couldn’t do that anymore, she supposed, so instead, she caved in. 

“Fine! But if you give me your virus, you nurse me too.” She said, pointing her finger at his face. He nodded and she went in the kitchen.

When she came back with his drink, he was dead asleep, all his covers thrown on the floor. The fever probably got him hard while asleep and he tried to cool himself down. She put his cup on his bed table and the covers back on him. 

Tired and sore for their morning activities she went back to bed at her turn. She placed herself on her side, her back to him, but not a minute after, his arms snared around her waist, his sweaty chest against her back. 

His hot breathe against her neck, he whispered: “I like when you’re naked.” He nuzzled her shoulder and she felt his morning stubble scratching her. “Your skin is amazingly soft.” He complimented her, open and childish.

He heart squeezed under his affection with a warm pressure and old Robin would have run away from this in a second, but in love Robin turned around in his arm and snuggled closer, feeling every angle of his body enveloping hers. 

“You’re going to get sick.” He warned her. She breathed in the smell of sweat, sex and spices of his skin. 

“Worth it.” They both felt asleep, entangled in each other.

12321

When she woke up again, she was alone in his bed. She put on her silk bathrobe and went to the living area and it was at that moment that he came back from the front door, dress in a sweatshirt and jogging, IPhone in his ear. “Where did you go?” she asked and he smiled, taking the sweat out of his eyes. “For a run. Wanna get rid of this little cold so I sweat it out.” He kissed her cheek. “All better now! Let me shower and I’m yours.”

He left for the bathroom and she went to his kitchen. She looked in his fridge to find something to cook, but it was mostly full of Gatorades and water bottles. Five minutes later, he was in a bathrobe, standing behind the counter. “What is it?” 

She pouted. “I’m hungry and there’s nothing here except popcorn.” 

He chuckled. “I always eat outside, you know that.” He said, and she sighed.

“I know, but I had hoped to not leave the apartment today.” He grabbed his phone that was still on the kitchen counter since the night before. 

“This is why people of New York invented the wonders of the delivery service, Canada.” He teased her and muttered the word Canadian under his breath and she acted offended for a second and then smile sweetly at him. 

“Korean?” she asked and he rolled his eyes. He always knew about her addiction to Korean food that she developed when she first came to the city years ago. He probably had a good Korean restaurant on his speed dial, because before she knew it, he was ordering in Korean on the phone.

She simply took a bottle of water and went to the living room. She noticed to broken glass of last night on the ground, the scotch had stuck to the marble. “Damn it.” She cursed under her breathe and she went to get cleaning stuff in his bathroom.

She was on four, scrubbing the floor when he sat on the couch near her. “I’ve never been into the Cinderella pattern, but if you insist I can try.” She scoffed and threw him and dirty rag. He laughed and grabbed her by the waist to sit her him, throwing the rag somewhere on his coffee table.

“I’m not finish! There is still glass on the floor.” He muttered a “don’t care” on her skin and ravished her neck hungrily.

“Can’t keep off of me, Stinson?” He smiled against her mouth and kissed her lazily and languorously.

Thirty minutes later, her bathrobe was nowhere to be found, his boxer had flown away somewhere and someone was ringing at the door. “Delivery man has a bad timing.” He complained and stood up to answer. She went to hide behind the couch, where she found her clothing from yesterday and Barney answered the door, just after finding her bathrobe on his lamp post.

Then mostly ate in silence, watching TV, Barney still wearing her old silk bathrobe with pink flower. She could laugh about it, calling him a transvestite, but he looked somehow very sexy in woman’s clothes. She didn’t let her thought linger on it too much. 

Robin had found his sport channel and she was passionately watching a game of hockey. Every time she would yell at the players on the screen, he would laugh and put his hand on her laps, stopping her from standing in outrage. Since he didn’t know much about the sport, she took the time to explain to rules to him, but she suspected that he was listening to only half of her words.

“I’ve seen Lily doing better slam than that.” He teased her and she scoffed. 

“It is hard to slam someone while skating, dude!” He rolled his eyes and she punched him in his ribs. She gave up teaching him about hockey, knowing he was more of a baseball fan and focused her attention to the TV. 

She noticed him cleaning the empty carton of food off the table while she was yelling at the Rangers. He sat near her, but she ignored him. She wanted to watch the game and one look at him would distract her. He started to push the shirt off her shoulder, kissing there. His tricky fingers caressed slowly up and down the inside of her naked tights.

She took a deep breath, her eyes focused on his enormous screen. “I’m trying to watch the game.” She said and he chuckled, his fingers going higher. 

“Please do, I’m not stopping you.” She put all her concentration on the hockey players, ignoring him. 

Yet, 10 minutes later, he was kneeling in front of her, holding the back of her knees high, splitting her tights apart, his mouth kissing the burning spot between her legs and her head had fallen back, lost at the tip of his tongue.

Later on, the game was finished and she was a big bundle of satiated limbs on the couch, Barney still sitting on the floor, his head on her tights, his tricky finger tracing patterns on her calf. She found the strength to turn her head down toward him and she saw him licking his red lips. She turned off the TV and her hand went to massage his scalp and he kissed her knee.

“I missed this.” She whispered and he smiled up at her. 

“Good sex?” he teased, wickedly.

She chuckled. “Well, yes. But I mean this.” She scratched harder being his ear and he closed his eyes. “The moment after sex, with you.” 

He looked into her eyes, glitter on his long eyelashes and he took her breath away. His fingers snared around her wrist and stopped her from caressing his hair. He brought it near his mouth and kissed the inside of her wrist, where her pulse point was. Then, he kissed his way up her arm, the fingers of his other hand working up her leg. He ended up sitting at her side, nuzzling her neck, bringing her legs on his. She let herself be pampered gladly.

She never was much for cuddling and so had been Barney, but cuddling together like this, she liked it. There was something in him, in the air around him, that calmed her, made her feel lost in bliss. She snuggled closer, a hand caressing his smooth stomach, nuzzling his unshaved jaw against her cheek. He chuckled in her ear. “Doesn’t it prickle?” 

She hummed. “I like it. Makes you manly.” 

He chuckled again. “I haven’t been call manly in...” he stopped to pause and think, looking up, an eyebrow arched. “Ever.” He added, not so happy about it. 

She grabbed a fist on his chest hair and he caught his breath. “Well you are to me.”

The look he gave her was definitely saying he didn’t believe her. “Robin, you have more balls than I.” He stated as a matter of fact. She giggled, her hand follow the soft hair on his belly until she reached him down low. His eyes rolled in the back of his head, all his body becoming loose. 

“I wouldn’t say so, really.” She teased him and he chuckled. “If you want to go again, I’m gonna need Redbull or something.” 

Her hand went up again and she shook her head. “Nah... Too exhausted.”

He caught her by the waist and stood up. “Time to go to bed then.” She lazily followed into the bedroom, simply looking forward to sleep, his body near her. Hell, she really did miss him.

12321

A week later, she was making small girl talk with Lily at a Spa at 34th street and Lexington Avenue. Two Asians girls were working on their toes nails. “I thought you liked black polish for your toes?” Said Lily, looking at the woman applying a nice navy blue color on Robin’s toes. 

She smiled wickedly. “Navy blue is Barney’s favorite color.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Girl! I never thought I would say this to you of all the people, but you are so whipped.” 

Robin made an offended face. “I am not!” she said in a very high pitch voice and her girlfriend just laughed. Robin stubbornly went back to her Vogue magazine.

“Well I’m glad you two are back together.” Robin smiled to herself. “I mean, it broke my heart to see him like this all the time.” Her redheaded friend said absently, looking at her own gossips magazine. Robin dropped her Vogue on her laps and turned toward Lily. 

“Say what?!” A look a guilty stroked Lily and she shook saying it was nothing. “No. Lily, see him like what?”

She sighed. “Listen Robin. After you guys break up, nothing special happened really, but then you started to date Don and it got really serious. That’s at that time he met Quinn.” Robin nodded, not understanding why she was mentioning events that Robin already knew that happened. 

“You remembered when he came into the apartment with Marshall and Ted, completely wasted because Barney had broken up his engagement with Quinn?” 

She laughed. “Yeah, poor Ted broke his record of Vomit free since ’93.”

Lily sighed deeply again and asked the women doing their nails to go away for a little bit. Then, she turned her entire body toward Robin, a very serious look in her eyes. “Listen Robin. When I said you have Barney’s heart completely, I am not being over romantic or mushy or anything.” She looked down sad. “I’m the one he confided in when he started to feel really bad.” She was a bit teary-eye when she looked up. “I’m the one that held him when he cried, like a broken little boy.” She breathed deep. “He cried until he fell asleep, he was a hollow mess. He missed you so very much.”

Robin felt something obstruct her throat when she tried to swallow. “But when I came back to him after Nora and Kevin, he rejected me. Even when I was with Don and he was with Quinn, he refused to come to my wedding as friends. Actually, he was the one that left me first. He left, Lily.” 

Lily smiled was a bit sad. “Honey, he didn’t leave you.” She grabbed her hand. “He gave you up.” 

The Asians women came back to finish their polish and Lily acted she never said a thing, leaving Robin completely lost.

12321

That same day, she went directly to Barney’s place in the evening. They had arranged to meet at their favorite sushi restaurant later on, but she simply went up his building, using her key. He was still wet from the shower, a towel at his hips, putting the suit he chose on the bed. 

“Hey! You’re early.” He seemed pleasantly surprise by her arrival and he went to caress to back of her neck, kissing her gently on the lips.

For a moment there, she basked in his presence. The smell of his soap was strong and her eyes would follow every drops of water on his body. She shook her dirty thoughts out of her brain, she came here with intentions and she wanted answers. She could have chosen a better start thought. “Did you cry a lot?”

He looked dumbfound for second and sighed. “Fine. I watched Field of Dreams again. I was bored and it was on ABC.” 

She laughed at him a bit. “No! That’s not what I meant.” Her hands went to tickle his hipbones. “I know how emotional you get when you watch that movie.” 

He scoffed. “I do not get emotional! I get more awesome.” He said awkwardly. 

She humored him for a moment and let him explain why Field of Dreams was a moving story for every man on the planet. He started to throw some of his fake history lessons in the mix and this is when she cut him. “I get it, I get it!” He smiled smugly and went to get put in underwear.

She took her time to look at his bum while he was naked and she sat on the bed, near his suit. He had chosen a light gray Dolce&Gabana and a light blue shirt. She passed her palm on the expensive fiber.

“I love that suit.” She whispered and he took the pants to put them on. “That’s why I chose it.”

She watched him getting dress up methodically. He grabbed his gold watch on the bed table and looked at her. “You seem lost in there.” She met his eyes and asked him to sit near her. He did, his hands automatically touching her tights with affection. 

“Did you give me up?” she asked this time.

Many expressions passed through his eyes, his face contorted in concentration. Then, realization hit him. “Ha. Lily spilled the bean.” 

She nodded slowly and explained herself more. “She said that you missed me and cried a lot.” He scoffed under his breath. She was pretty sure he called Lily a busy-body, but she ignored it. “She said that when we broke up, you gave me up.” 

His expression was uneasy, his hand on her tight heavier. “I want to understand. I want us to go forward and I hurt you so much in the past and we haven’t talk about it really. I don’t want you to keep this inside and then use it 10 years later.”

He let himself fall on his back, crisping the bed cover. “It’s complicated.” 

She nudged him in the ribs. “Try me.” 

He giggled, ticklish, and took her hand to pull her toward him. She fell on him, her ear on his beating heart. “When we were together the first time, I realized how much I loved you. It was not something I expected. To tell the truth my expectations of myself then were the same as anyone else: I was certain that I would get bored and broke your heart. Falling in love was so very surprising.” His hand caressed her hair slowly. “I was so very much in love with you and I knew I was in way much deeper than you were and it scared me.” 

She wanted to say something but he cut her off, asking her to let him finish. “I didn’t want to settle down just yet, but my heart didn’t give me a choice. The simple idea of being with another woman than you wasn’t attractive at all.” He stopped a moment to think and she waited. “But then, I got the courage to tell you.” 

His hand went to play with a strand of her hair. “I was so very in love with you, yet you never said anything about it. I thought you needed time, but at that moment you started to walk away from me. I thought you didn’t feel the same way and that you were trying to spare me and it hurt. I felt like there was a defect in me, something that made you not love me. That there was something badly wired into me. I felt that I didn’t deserve you, that my love was not enough.”

She cuddled herself closer to him and he held her tighter. “I talked about it with Ted and Marshall and it didn’t go so well.” She looked at him worried and he smiled at her sadly. “A long conversation cut short; Ted thought that I was feeling like this because it may be true. That maybe there was someone better for you out there. So, thinking that it was the best for you, I gave you up.”

If she could kill Ted right now, she would. “Next time you want advices, go see Lily.” She growled. He kissed her deeply, whispering promises.

Her hand caressed his chest through his dress shirt. “And to make it clear, there is no defect in you.” She whispered, her hand stopping over his heart, feeling it beat. “To me, you are awesome to way you are, even the most sociopathic part of you. You are most deserving of me.”

He chuckled. “I won’t forget that then.”

She kissed his chest where his shirt was still open. “I’m sorry I was such a Grinch about all that.” 

He rested his chin on the top of her head. “Tell me about it.” He agreed. He took her hand and kissed her fingers. “I am still incredible mad about you.” He smiled.

She laughed, giddily. She looked into his eyes. “Why did you reject me before?” She realized she was a bit angry at him for it. She had gone through a lot of pain during these times and now, she wanted to know. He sat up too, to meet her eyes, his hand on her lower back.

“I was in love with you. Irretrievably. The hold you had on me was so scary and I fought against it. Because no matter how much I loved you, I thought you would never love me.” She looked down, a bit ashamed. She had to admit that she never said it, those three little words. Now that she thought about it, it was when she said them that he came back to her.

She grasped his face between her hands, caressing his lips with her thumbs. “So I can make it clear, you loving me: it didn’t make me unhappy. That year together was the happiest time I had and now that I have it back, I am not parting with it. So, there is no giving up, no self-destruction, nothing.”

He kissed her, his tongue instantaneously entering her mouth. His kiss, like always, was intoxicating and addictive. She let him put her on her back, his body covering hers in a powerful manner, her easy submission turning her on. She could spend all day kissing him, but she pushed him away to remind him of the restaurant reservation they made. He pouted and she laughed. 

“We are such a weird pair, you and me.”

He laughed and helped her up by the waist. “Yes we are.” 

She nuzzled his clean shaved cheek and breathed in his intoxicated smell. “I won’t ever make you cry.” She said and he laughed. 

“Isn’t it something the guy is supposed to say?” he teased her and she felt wicked. 

“Well, we both agreed that I am the man in this relationship.” 

He laughed and threw her on her back, his strong body over hers. They forgot all about their restaurant reservation all over again and stayed in all night long.

12321

“Say what?”

Her voice had got out in a way much higher pitch than she expected, but she acted proudly, like no one would notice. Marshall and Lily raised their eyebrows in unison, a bit surprised by her reaction. 

“Marriage, Robin.” Specified Marshall, “Will you and Barney get married?”

She took a large sip of scotch that burned down her throat and it made her feel better. “I ran away from my last wedding ceremony. I don’t have a great track record.” She said, a bit depress about it. 

“But it’s different now!” Lily told her. “It’s Barney. You loooove him” she sang and Robin sank into the booth. 

“Even so...” she started. It was hard to explain to her married friends how she felt toward marriage. However, they dropped the subject when Ted and Barney arrived and everything was forgotten.

Later that night, she was in Barney’s bed, her lover’s head burrowed between her tights. She grasped his hair and his skilled tongue left her burning spot to kiss his way up to her mouth. She was going to beg him to not stop, but when his mouth crushed hers, his tongue invading the privacy of her mouth; his fingers penetrated roughly her wet folds in one fluid motion. One of her hands grasped his lean shoulder hard while the other was holding tight on the sheet of the bed.

When she came, she let go of everything, the palm of her hand flatly opened toward the sky, in a perfect submission to pleasure and to him. He let her bathed in the afterglow, sucking her pink nipples gently. When she found motion of her limbs again, she went to caress his arms, his chest, everywhere she could touch. She felt his strong erection against the moisture between her legs and she spread herself wide open for him. He looked blindly for a condom on his bed table, but she stopped his arm. 

“Barney, I can’t get pregnant.” She explained, short of breathe. He looked at her dumbfounded. Even thought they had already talked about her infertility, they always slipped so easily into their old habits and neither of them had said a thing before now. He would automatically slip a condom and not once they talked about stopping to use them. However, during her the past weeks, Robin had thought about it. She couldn’t have kids and they weren’t sleeping around, so why bother anymore.

“You’re sure? Lily would probably warn you about all the diseases I could give you.” He teased, a small smile playing on his lips. She chuckled, kissing the inside of his palm. 

“Well, she is the one that keeps saying that a real couple should share everything. We could always blame her later if I get Chlamydia.” She joked and he laughed. 

“I like the way you think, Scherbatsky.”

He kissed her again, his tongue doing to thing that curled her toes. When he slipped deep within her in one swift motion, they both stilled and Robin saw glitter shining like never before. She wanted to make a joke about what they have been missing, but the dark, tempestuous desire in his eyes blocked all sounds coming from her. 

When their initial shock had passed, Barney outdid himself. Suddenly their love making became quite animal. She came again hard and he rode her orgasm calmly. She whispered the dirtiest words she knew into his ear while he augmented his rhythm into her. Already completely exhausted, she watched his last effort before he came hard, spilling into her, finding his release in bliss.

There was something utterly dirty yet sexy about Barney’s sperm in her, spilling on her legs and she had never felt so strangely completed and fulfilled after sex than right then.

Later, both of them bathing in the afterglow of the most amazing sex they had in quite some times, she was slowly falling asleep when he said: “Let’s get married.”

Her eyes shut open in an instant and she looked at him, a look of disbelief probably on her face. “Say what?” 

He chuckled at her. “Let’s get married.” He repeated, hugging her closer. “More than half of your things are in my closet, you do my groceries, you never go sleep at your apartment and I don’t want to let you go.” He said in one breathe. She blinked, blinded by a storm of glitter around them.

“I’m not marriage material.” She said, weakly. 

He smiled and said. “Me neither. Let’s get married.”

She sat on the bed, still focusing her eyes on him. He was a delicious sight, all naked, his sweat shining under the street lights passing through the windows, baby blue eyes brighter than ever. “I don’t want to prepare a big ceremony like Lily or Ted would.” 

His smile didn’t waver. “Agreed. It’s too complicated. Let’s get married, Robin.”

Her hands were trembling and something big and heavy stuck in her throat. “I can’t have kids and I don’t want them anyway.” 

He shrugged. “Definitely not a deal breaker. Let’s get married.”

She looked at him like he was crazy and he laughed. “I want to travel, be successful.” She explained. 

“Scherbatsky, let’s get married.” He breathed one last time, his fingers snaring behind her neck, bringing her close to him, kissing her with everything he got to show. Something clicked in her head everything fell into place, smiling in his kiss.

She never expected this. She had seen hundreds of proposal in her life; some even had her as an active participant. To Robin, a marriage proposal was something done with a big ring, a man on one knee, surrounded by flowers and completely embarrassed. She always hated it. Maybe that’s why, when he stopped kissing her, his breath smelling of Johnny Walker, she felt truly happy. Because only Barney Stinson can understand her that way and she just loved him more for it. 

“O.K. Stinson. Let’s get married.”

They cuddled for a moment, his chin resting on the top of her head, her lips on his neck, licking his pulse point. Until she decided to tease him, that is. “So very you, proposing without a ring.” 

He chuckled and kissed her hair, his fingers mixed in her brown hair. “We’ll go at Tiffany’s first thing in the morning then.” 

She felt more and more tired and right before she gave up on staying awake, she whispered on his skin: “I want a big rock...” She felt asleep on the vibration of his laugh going thought his body.

12321

She wasn’t showing it off, really. But Barney had taken her joke about a big rock quite literally and resting on her finger was a gold band mounted by one big solitary diamond. He had made a joke about he had to show all men she was taken already. “You are too gorgeous for your own good, Scherbatsky.”

The same day he bought it, they went to MacLaren’s for drinks with everyone and he gave her a glass of Macallen 30 years to celebrate, but they both didn’t breathe a word about their engagement.

Their friends didn’t seem to catch the ring and they soon realized that it was because Lily had great news. Marshall and her were pregnant again. They bought champagne as tradition dictated them and when Robin clung her glass against Ted’s, he finally caught it. “Oh my god, that’s an engagement ring.”

Lily and Marshall smiled and Robin knew that had seen it when she first arrived, but chose to not say a thing. 

“Of course, it is Ted. What did you expect?” Lily said, like a know-it-all. He didn’t say another word, but simply smiled at Barney and whispered congratulation in his ear.

They spent most of the night talking about future baby Erikson number two and her friends didn’t asked them one thing about the marriage. The funny thing was, that was quite alright with her.

12321

A year later exactly, things had changed more than ever before, as if their life had embarked on the fast lane.

Lily had given birth to a beautiful little girl name Daisy and Marshall and her went to live a full year in Italy. They were all expecting to see them in two months in New York, Barney’s making joke about the fact that Marshall probably became part of the Italian Mafia without realizing it.

Barney and her hadn’t gotten married and not once, they talk about actually doing it. They simply spent their time together in serendipity. She had become the main news anchor at WWN alongside Sandy Rivers and her popularity kept sky rocking every broadcast.

Barney had given up his job; finally telling them that he had been working with the Feds for years, feeding them information about the illegal activities of Atrucell. Now jobless, but with a fortune, Barney was focusing on his old blog about bros and gentlemen.

Ted had met a girl. The girl Robin recognized as being the one that sat on a bench with her on a raining night. Tracy was as pretty as Robin remembered and she had the same eyes as Ted, the “let’s get married and have a bunch a babies” eyes.

Tracy recognized Robin right away, but what surprised her was that she recognized Barney. Ted had a stricken look on his face. “Please, tell me you did not sleep with him!”

Barney had laughed and made a joke about it wasn’t for a lack of trying. Tracy explained he tried to hit on her years ago in a CVS. “She told me I looked sad and broken, can you believe it!” Barney jumped in, feigning offended and it cut the conversation short.

Later that night, Barney admitted to her, in secret, that it was Tracy that pushed him to go for her in the first place.

Robin and Ted were being all “friends-with-benefits” and Barney was in his mood of destroying every TVs he could find in the back alley of the pub. One night, he tried to hit on Tracy and in the end, they talked on a bench about his feeling for her. 

“She asked me if I wanted to keep playing the game or if I wanted to win.” He smiled at her, bright and beautiful. “I wanted to win. It took all my energy, all my time, all my resources; like she said it would, but I wanted you.”

In exchange for his confession, she told him how she met Tracy on that bench. How it was her talk about living without regrets that spurred her to kiss him that night and broke up with Kevin. Barney had laughed, telling her that this Tracy was definitely responsible for their happiness in a weird way. 

“It’s like a bad joke about cosmic universal stuff.” And she agreed by kissing him.

She was the one that took control that night, moving languorously on top of him, showing her naked body to him. She let him caressed her everywhere, taking her time to please him. When he came, deep within her, glitter exploded in her mind.

12321

It was Christmas 2020 at Lily and Marshall’s new house in Coney Island, when Ted asked her for the first time. “You have been engaged for years, why don’t you just get married already?” 

Recently, after two kids popping out of Tracy (Penny and Luke), Ted and her had finally tied the knot in a very private ceremony. Robin had come back from a trip to Barcelona early just to be at the wedding.

Because of her promotion as an overseas correspondent, she was asked to travel a lot and she didn’t see her friends as much as she wished, but she was living her dream and nothing seemed to stop her. At first, Barney had come with her, but when his blog and bro business flopped in an unsuccessful way, he decided to stay in New York, looking for something to do with his life.

That had been a hard moment in their relationship. She was becoming more and more successful and he was living off his past salary. For a complete year, he had stopped coming with her outside the country. In the past he had something joined her later for a couple of days, but during that time, he mostly stayed home, drinking, completely depressed. For long, the Barney she knew was gone and it had been hard for her to deal with it, even more when she was abroad. Then, two years ago, something happened that changed him.

His brother James had a great friend named Susan. The poor woman’s daughter had disappeared and for an entire week, no one knew where to look. Barney, always ready to give a hand, used all his personal resources and found the little girl in less than 48 hours, helping the police to arrest the birth father that had taken her.

With a new found goal, energy and with the help of the FIB he had serviced for years; he opened his own private detective office. He had joined her in a trip she was doing in England by surprise, telling her how business was great even though he had started officially only a month ago. Her Barney was himself again and she brought him to the Sherlock Holmes museum on Baker Street where he bought half of the souvenirs in the shop and where she had serviced him in a dark corner of Sherlock Holmes’s room.

She must admit that at first, she had been worried. She already had imagined him running away from the mob, shooting bullet at him. He had laughed and reassured her that he was mostly working on missing person cases. Mostly referred by NYPD, like missing kids or a cheating husband, nothing too dangerous. “Helps a lot when I’m bored.”

Because of his new private business, he was following her even less than when he was depressed and the weight of loneliness was getting heavier on her shoulder. He did mention how much he missed her every time she was away, but she still felt the pull of adventures that was stopping her from staying in New York with him. She was feeling a bit guilty about it all and she didn’t really know how to deal with the two sides of her that were fighting. Her adventurous side wanted to travel more, but her heart leaned deeply toward her lover that she missed all the time.

Not only that, but when she was in NYC, Barney was often busy. He had always tried to stay free for the time she was in the city, but important cases always seemed to appear out of nowhere. They decided that every second that they weren’t working should be spent on each other. Since then, they were making it work quite fine. She promised to Skype with him the second she was in her hotel room and he promised to never accept a case while she was in NYC if her stay was less than a week.

“I don’t know when we’ll get married Ted. We are very busy anyway. We have to schedule our time together.” 

He scoffed. “Busy? Seriously, after a 7 years engagement, that’s your excuse?” 

She sighed. “Why is it so important to you, Ted?” 

He shrugged, looking at his younger kid, Luke, playing with his new red train. “I don’t know. Guess I want you happy, that’s all.” 

She touched his shoulder lightly and smiled. “I am happy, Ted.”

She searched for Barney with her eyes and saw him playing with little Penny and Daisy, doing magic like only awesome uncle Barney could do. She always felt bad toward Barney because she couldn’t have kids. He would be the greatest father in the world. She had voiced her concerned every time Tracy or Lily would pop another baby and he embraced her tightly like he always did. “You matter more to me than kids.” He said to her, honest and vulnerable, and she believed every words.

“I know you think you are, Robin, but what if Barney grows tired of your nomad life? What if he meets someone while you are gone somewhere in China or Egypt?”

Her heart grew cold and she bit her lip. “He won’t. He loves me.”

Ted patted her back and gave her a smile of pity. She wondered if she was trying to convince Ted or herself.

Barney did his last trick, getting a round of applauses from his two avid spectators, and came to her near the tree and encircled her waist, his palm flat on her belly. His chin went to rest on her shoulder and she chuckled silently when he sniffed her hair. 

“You smell good. Your pillow doesn’t smell like you anymore.” He complained like a young kid and she turned around in his embrace to kiss him softly, trying to warm herself up after Ted’s preaching. His fire snaked its way into her blood, making her hot like the fireplace near them. “I know that I’ve been gone too long…” 

His lips trapped hers again, his fingers making a mess of her hair. “Three months is indeed astonishingly long.”

She laughed and pushed him away to finish decorating the tree. He sat down near the decorations box and passed them all, one by one to her. 

“How long can you stay this time?” He asked in a small voice. She almost didn’t hear him with the children and the two other couple around the big kitchen table. She answered her voice as low as his. 

“I leave for Grenade next week on Wednesday.” His mouth formed a “wow”, but she didn’t hear a sound. “I’ll be gone a month and then…I don’t know.” He looked up, his eyes full of glitter. “I don’t want to stop yet, Barney.” 

He smiled at her and so she did. “I know.”

“It doesn’t mean I don’t love you any less, you know that right?” He nodded in silence. “I still want to be your fiancée.” She added and he chuckled at her. The doubt that Ted spread through her was like a malicious disease and she felt fear entrapped her. “You are going to marry me, right Barney Stinson?” She sounded unsure to her own ears and for a second she was scared he might change his mind about them. But he didn’t.

He must have felt her fears because he stood up in a flash and hugged her so tight that she fell backward. Unfortunately, Barney was unprepared to keep his balance and they both fell down, bringing the newly decorated Christmas tree with them in a big clash. When everyone else came to the living room alarmed, Barney and Robin were laughing like crazy, trying to kiss each other, not caring about the pines digging in their skin.

Ted moaned, while his wife gently tapped his shoulder with a smile. “Guys! Those were new decorations, for God sake!”

“Daddy? Will Santa come anyway?” asked Marvin, fear in his eyes.

That simply made Barney and Robin laughed harder, mistletoes in their hair.

She continued to travel around a lot, until Thanksgiving 2025.

12321

Robin came back a week before Christmas 2024 and Ted and Tracy took advantage of that fact by asking her to babysit Penny and Luke for one night. She did point out that she was probably the worst person to ask, but they said that their kids missed their aunt Robin and she caved.

After an exhausting evening, she came back home in a state of distress. Definitely not that kind of mental state her fiancé had expected. She kicked her shoes on the welcome mat and threw her purse on the couch. 

He asked her what was up, when she started to tear up and yelled: “You’re Carl.”

He looked at her quite dumbfounded for a moment there and laughed a little. “No, love, Carl is MacLaren’s bartender. I’m Barney.” She sighed exasperated. “Did the kids made you sniff their glue? Because they had me once and man, it was like acid.”

She took off her coat and threw it on her purse. “No I didn’t sniff any glue. They made me watch an old Pixar movie.” 

He seemed excited like a 5 years old for a moment and asked her if it was Nemo. She denied it and his spirit tanked. “We watched that horrible movie, which is definitely not for kids, about this old bitter man that makes his house fly off with balloons.”

He blinked for a second and then understanding draw itself on his expression. “And you came to the weird conclusion that I was that bitter old man, Carl.” She sank on the couch and sniffed. He sat at her side and put his arm around her shoulder. “Man, adults shouldn’t watch Up.” He stated with humor, but she didn’t laugh. “How old is that movie anyway?” She hit him in the ribs and he faked unbearable pain. 

“This is not a joking matter. You maybe not be an old and bitter man now but you will become one. You will become Carl and all because of me.” 

He snorted. “Baby, the dude may wear a suit but his glasses are way out of style for me.” She hit him again. She was crying for real this time. 

“I’m not kidding. Like Carl’s wife, I am infertile. I won’t ever give you children.”

She cuddled her against him and she felt the hard angle of his hips knocking hers. “I know Robin. This is not novelty and my feelings toward this won’t ever change.” He dried her tears with his hands but new ones came flowing down. “I thought we talked about this before, Robin. That you were fine.”

“Well I thought I was, but thanks to Pixar, now I know that I haven’t thought this through properly.” She argued and she heard him whispered “damn it Pixar” under his breath. “Carl thought like you, that as long as he was with her, everything was fine, but then she died and he was left all alone and sad.” She looked into his beautiful eyes, color of a winter sky. “I don’t want to do this to you.”

He grabbed her legs and passed them over his, making her closer to him. “First of all, there is no way in hell I’m letting you died. I’m way too awesome for that.” She snorted a laugh through her tears and his fingers went to dry them. “And second, Carl was extremely happy for all the time he spent with his wife and so will I.”

Her fingernails went to scratch the nape of his neck and his thin lips kissed her wet cheeks. “I love you so much Scherbatsky. I won’t ever part with you and our life, even children-less, will be complete.” He let himself fall on his back, bringing her to rest on top of him. “You make me complete and that is enough for me.”

She stayed silent, basking in the happiness of being in his arms. Because of her travels, moments like this were scattered and she missed him more and more. Leaving was getting harder every time and it hurt to leave him behind. Even on the rare occasion that he would follow her, it was never for a long time.

“Well, if I don’t want you to become Carl, I can’t let you be lonely.” 

He chuckled. “I don’t feel lonely right now.” He said, playing with her hair. He sighed in comfort and bliss. “You smell so good, Canada. Let’s have sex now.” He growled, grazing the skin her neck with his teeth hungrily. 

He was going to kiss her, his hands pawning her breast, but she resisted and said: “Barney, I won’t travel anymore.” 

She had been going around for more than 10 years now and she was done. She was tired and for months now, the taste of adventure was simply bitter. A part of her still wanted to continue and maybe if she had been alone she would have, but she had someone waiting for her in New York every day.

She turned her face to look at him and his face was a perfect expression of dumbfounded disbelief. “Say what?” 

She bit her lower lips to stop her laugh. “I apply for a permanent position at WWN for the evening news anchor and I think I will get it.” There were still questions in his eyes and she waited for him to ask them. 

“You applied for it.” She nodded in agreement. “Are you sure you want to stop travelling?” he said, unsure and vulnerable. 

“No. I want to travel.” His expression was sad and her heart broke a little. “But I chose travelling for years now. I think it’s time I chose my fiancé.” He was going to speak again, but she interrupted him. “It might still take around a year for the travelling to stop; I have assignments that I must finish. But around Thanksgiving next year, I should stop.”

His smile had never been as bright as this moment and when he kissed her with all the love he could give her, she felt like the ocean just swallowed her whole and breathing was not necessary anymore. She let herself drown, because she was too lost in him to care.

12321

“Merry Christmas!” Barney yelled, in the middle of Christopher Street. 

She laughed, but coaxed him to shut up, people sending him deadly stares. “Honey, Christmas was 5 days ago.” 

He laughed, passing his arms around her shoulder. “I know, but I want to buy you another gift today.” She kissed his cheek, telling him he didn’t have to do that. Her fingers went to touch her new soft pink Japanese pearl necklace on her neck with affection.

“No, really, I have thought about it for years, but you were always travelling so much. Now that you’re going to stop...” He let the rest of his sentence trailed, playing with his eyebrows in a funny, wicked way. 

“Barney...” she warned him. “What do you want to buy?” 

His smile was brighter than the lights in the street. “A puppy!”

Her jaw must have touched the ground and she was too surprised to say anything, except staring at him. His hand went to play with her hair at the nape of her neck. 

“I know how much you love dogs and I remembered how much you cried when your aunt called to say one of them had passed away.” She felt very sad in a moment, remembering how much it hurt every time her aunt would call to give her the news that one of them was gone. Barney gently kissed her cheek. 

“I thought about bringing back in New York the two that are still alive, but your aunt told me they were getting a bit too old to adapt themselves to another place, so... we should buy a new one.”

She nodded slowly. “I’d like that.” She whispered; her word flying away on the cold wind of December. 

He brought her to a Shelter he knew and asked her to choose to one she liked. The nice lady that was taking care of the dogs told them that a couple just brought in a puppy. Their own dog had given birth and most of her babies had found masters except the youngest. Robin asked to see it and the young lady came back with the biggest puppy she had ever seen.

“It that an English Sheepdog?” Barney laughed like a crazy kid and took to big pup in his arm. 

“Yes, Miss. They grow big, but they are very intelligent and social. They easily adapted themselves too.” 

Robin threw a look at Barney that was already making baby sound to the puppy, cuddling him. “And as long as you cut the fur regularly, it won’t leave hair everywhere in your apartment.”

The young lady was doing her best the sell this dog, probably because it was hard to find someone to adopt such a big dog in a city like New York. She was going to ask Barney’s opinion, but when she looked at him, he was giving her big, teary puppy eyes. 

“Let’s keep him.” He had seen the hesitation on her face and outstretched his arms to show it better. “Come on, love! Look at his little tail and his big paws. We could name him Doctor Watson.”

He looked especially radiant and in love. It made her laughed. “Doctor Watson?” she dared to ask. 

He nodded. “I’m a P.D., I need my assistant.” Robin took the heavy puppy in her arms and he automatically cuddle nearer. “See, he likes you.”

The two of them looked at her in the most adorable way that she had no chose whatsoever. “We’ll take it.” She said to the young lady. 

She acted like she didn’t know Barney at all when he started to jump around with the puppy, all happy, but she secretly smiled while filling the adoption papers. Who would want kids when you have the legendary, and slightly annoying, Barney Stinson to take care of.

12321

When she came back from her last trip abroad months later, Thanksgiving and Christmas 2025 had already pasted by and Barney’s fiftieth birthday was dangerously approaching. It was Doctor Watson that jumped on her when she passed the threshold. She scratched him behind his ears and he happily followed her around the apartment, even sitting in front of the closed door when she went to the bathroom. She sat on the couch, Watson putting his big soft paws on her tights, seeking attention. She scratched him again. “Where’s your papa, Watson?”

Barney knew she was coming home today and truthfully she had expected a big warm welcome and a lot of sex in every room. It was a good thing that Doctor Watson had been there, because she didn’t like the idea of coming home to an empty apartment. She cuddled with her big baby for some times, but then she started to yawn. Tired and jetlagged, she gave up on waiting for her fiancé and went to bed.

She woke under many different and pleasing sensations. The cotton sheets were at her waist, letting the cold air of March hitting her skin. However, something warm was hovering over her and something incredibly skilled and wet closed around her left nipple. She opened her eyes halfway to see the blond hair of her lover and she passed her fingers through it. He stopped his actions to look up at her, eyes dark and full of fire. 

“Damn you are some hot stuff, Scherbatsky.” He growled at her, voice deep and low. “I wonder if it’s because that now, you’ll never leave, but man I want you so hard right now, China will hear you.”

Something burned up between her legs and she moaned. She fisted her hand into his hair and brought him up to her face for a sloppy kiss. 

“Where were you?” she whispered on his tongue. 

“Ted had a bloody emergency.” He complained, his hands caressing her breast in admiration. 

“Not bad I hope.” she chuckled, already unbuttoning his dress shirt. 

“His daughter got a boyfriend in school.” He said, while rolling his eyes, making quotation marks in the air at the word boyfriend. 

She chuckled, helping him out of his belt. “Poor Teddy Westside.”

Barney was naked in a time record and Ted’s problems were fast forgotten. He came back on her, his mouth finding her nipple again, sucking hard, and she bent her back forward. A strong moaned pushed its way through her mouth and when she did, Watson jumped on the bed, licking her face. 

“How the hell did you open that door!” exclaimed Barney, completely surprise by the presence of the intruder. She laughed hard and he pouted. “Watson, dude, I’m busy making sweet loving to your mama, so scram!” Obviously, he didn’t move and it just made her laugh harder.

“It is sooo not funny. I am naked with my woman that I haven’t seen in months with a big throbbing erection and yet, my own dog is stopping me.” She stood up and took Watson out of the room, closing and locking the door behind her. 

“There, there, papa.” She teased him. “Mama is ready for her sugar.” She kneeled on the bed, passing her arms around his waist. One of his hands went down south between her legs and the other grabbed her neck.

A flash of a long ago memory came to her. That night they were at MacLaren’s, Ted had just been dumped at the altar by Stella and Robin had asked Barney to sleep at his place. He had snared his fingers around her neck so possessively that nothing would have stopped her from sleeping with him that night.

Tonight, the hand on her neck had the same feeling and her heart exploded in her chest. She whispered I love yous on the skin of his neck and he lowered her on her back, taking possession of her in the most wonderful way, his lips kissing every part of her.

He growled, his face between her breasts, making her giggled uncontrollably. “God, I missed you, Canada.” His tongue tracing bellow her breast. “Me too. Romania is so very cold without my future husband.”

This simple fact seemed that had fired up even more ardently and his lips crashed into hers, drinking her like a mad man in the desert. She humped slightly against his leg for good measure and he moaned. “Damn it.” He whispered. “Other women have nothing on you.” He claimed, grabbing her hips powerfully.

“Have you been unfaithful, you pervert?” She joked, wicked. She held his hand in hers and kissed it amorously, showing him how much she yearned for him.

He sniggered. “All the time and you are kissing the culprit.” He added, shooting his eyebrows up. She let go of his hand with a false disgust and he went to attack her collarbone. She giggled again. “I’ll forgive you.”

He kissed her with fire and passion, his tongue doing to thing that curled her toes. Then, he threw all the covers of the bed directly on the ground and she laughed. “In the way...” he justified absent-minded. He lifted her leg and tied them around his waist; her hand blindly looked for his body to touch. He leaned in, her hands finding his strong shoulders, and in one swift motion, he fulfilled her.

However, he didn’t move at all, looking at her with something in his eyes she hardly recognized. When he spoke, his voice was raw and coming from deep within him, making her shivered.

“Marry me.” He ordered. She whispered a yes that changed into a moan when he moved and then, she lost all sense of heaven or hell.

12321

For Barney’s fiftieth birthday dinner at Ted’s house, her lover surprised everyone like he promised he would. 

Robin will remember forever their expression at that moment in a delicious, evil way. They were all eating, adults and children, around the big rectangular table. Because Barney and her didn’t have kids, they were put at each ends of the table, the two big families between them. After much insistence, Barney had successfully brought Doctor Watson with them and he was sleeping soundly, like the couch potato that he was, near the fireplace.

They were all making small talk, kids staying silent, bored out of their mind because of the adult topic of conversation. 

“Oh Ted, I was wondering if you could be my best man?” he threw at his best friend, so very casually, drinking his wine. The silence on the table was more religious than in a church. Robin put her fork down, making a clang, and people turned their disbelief expressions toward her. 

“Barney, it’s not like you need to ask him. I doubt he’ll say no.” She smiled, servicing herself more mashed potato.

Her fiancé scoffed, offended. “Don’t you know Ted Mosby? He has been waiting for me to pop the question for years, like a girl waiting to be invited by the star footballer for the prom.” 

Finally, they had the first reaction by Ted Mosby himself. “I am not a girl!” he said offended, while his kids would snigger secretly. “And it’s 12 years, Barney!” They all saw Ted started to tear up; tears building in his eyes. When he spoke again, his voice was cracking: “I waited 12 years for that question.”

At his word, Lily and Marshall started to cry and Tracy jumped out of seat, yelling she’ going to get champagne. The poor children were completely in the blank, but followed the mood of joy of their parents. They all hugged and kissed and everyone seemed in total bliss. So much that when Barney grabbed her hand and brought her away on the balcony, no one actually noticed.

The snuggled close in the cold, warming each other’s. “God! That was the most legendary announcement ever!” She claimed, proudly. He nodded in agreement. 

“We totally awesomed their night.” She giggled and kissed his laughing lines near his eyes that seemed to augment in number every day. 

“So much that we deserve to have sex in Ted’s office later.” She teased and his blue eyes became darker and she shivered. 

“How can you exist?” he whispered in admiration and he kissed her with everything he had and she took it all.

Her hand went lower his belt and his breath caught in his throat. “You did just get 50 year old. I think you deserve a little present.” 

He groaned his forehead against her. “Dude! Didn’t we agree to not mention any 0 or 5 for the next... forever?” She smiled with all the affection she had for him. “Right, so today his your...” She took a pause to think and added: “20th 30th birthday.” 

He moaned like a teenager. “I’m an old geezer.” 

She chuckled and slipped her hand in his underwear. “Well, you’re a really hot one.” He scoffed, closing his eyes to concentrate on the feeling of her hand encircling him warmly. “Really, you are this generation’s George Clooney, but way much hotter.” 

She squeezed at the base on his sex and he moaned, moving his hips into her hand. “Ted’s office now, Scherbatsky.”

She giggled and followed him inside. Sadly, they got caught by their friends, asking them a bunch of questions about the ceremony. After a minute of complete shambles, Barney silenced them. “Guys! It’s my birthday. Right now, I want my presents.” He complained, giving all his guilty looking friends his puppy eyes.

They all nodded and went into the kitchen, where they all hid the beautifully wrapped presents. When they came back in the living room only three seconds later, they saw Ted’s office’s door closed and they heard the lock over Robin’s laughter. Doctor Watson sat right in front of the door, wimping. 

Ted sighed deeply. “Oh maaan! Not cool!” They heard something crashed on the floor. “Bro, not on my drafting table!”

12321

They signed their marriage license without an actual ceremony.

They asked Marshall, who was now a judge, to marry them and he agreed happily. Barney went to get all that was necessary at the city hall and asked their friend to meet the next day. 

They were all sitting together around the big table at Ted and Tracy’s house. They had all put suits and dresses. Robin had actually put on her very expensive, but not in style, Vera Wang gown, holding a sunflower that Barney had gotten her. 

Marshall finished to complete all the appropriate paperwork in silence and looked at his friend. “O.K., I know we are doing this now probably because there won’t be a ceremony, so let’s make it official in our own way.” Lily grabbed her husband hand, teary eyes, and nodded in agreement.

“I, Judge Marshall Erikson, am declaring that the present Barney Stinson and Robin Scherbatsky are getting married today by the laws in the state of New York.” He cited solemnly, making Ted shed a tear or two. Barney raised his hand in the air and Marshall high-five-d him, emotional. Then, he took the Mont Blanc that Barney had given him when he became judge, signed the paper and give it all to his wife. “Lily, as a witness, please sign. You too Ted.”

Lily and Ted were more emotional than the actual couple who were chuckling under their breath. Tracy’s foot hit their calf under the table, giving them a motherly stare. They mimed their apologies while Lily finished signing and watched Ted Mosby, still looking at the line where he had to put his name.

“Ted?” asked Barney and the architect took a long deep breath. 

“You are so late, guys.” Then, he smiled. “At least you got there.” He carefully signed his name and passed it to Robin at the other side of the table. 

She grabbed the Mont Blanc and signed elegantly, not a second thought passing in her mind. Marshall complained: “You could have waited for me to ask for the “I dos”, Robin.” Everyone chuckled, but he was grandly ignored.

She looked up at Barney, his eyes full of blue glitter and love and she leaned to kiss him, but Marshall stopped her with a big yell. “No kissing yet, Barney hasn’t sign.” 

Her groom rolled his eyes and grasped the pen in his fingers and skillfully wrote his name. When he put the point on the I of Stinson, she felt emotions strangling her and tears prickling her eyes. He was hers. Finally, Barney Stinson was her husband.

She saw her own emotions and when she looked into his eyes, she saw the mirror of her heart. His hand went on her neck, his thumb caressing her pulse point, like he always did, when he wanted to show her how much he wanted to possess her. She grabbed his tie and kissed him hard on the lips. She heard Marshall complained again in the background. 

“Fine, fine, kiss the bride, or groom, or whatever, don’t wait for the judge that is marrying you.”

They broke apart, a fake look of guilt on their face. Marshall made a very solemn face and declares in his judge voice: “Barney Stinson and Robin Scherbatsky, I pronounce you man and wife. You already kiss, so let’s skip that part...” 

Barney muttered under his breath like a 5 years old. “But it’s the best part.” and she hit him in the ribs. 

Marshall cleared his throat and said: “You have been married.”

There was a silence for a second, when Barney asked impatient: “Can we kiss now, Big Fudge?” Marshall eyed his newly married friends and said in his big voice: “Big Fudge allows it.”

Barney grabbed her by the waist and sat her on his tights, kissing her with all his worth, under the cheers of their friends. Ted stoop up, all excited. “I’ll go get scotch! I have a great Macallen 35 somewhere.” The second Ted left for the kitchen; Barney stood up with his bride in his arms and walked toward Ted’s office under the laughs of their friends.

When Ted was back, he saw the door of his office closed. “Oh maaan... Why is it always in my office?” he put the bottle of scotch on the table and yelled: “Not on the drafting table guys! Not the draf-” he interrupted himself and looked at Lily and Marshall. “They’re doing it on the drafting table, aren’t they?” 

They both nodded solemnly and Marshall gave his judgement. “Big Fudge thinks so.”

12321

Barney had booked an expensive resort hotel in the Seychelles with a suite directly on the beach. They spent their first afternoon in a bed made of Egyptian cotton sheets, with two big French doors of the balcony wide opened toward the sea.

At evening, Barney was fast asleep, his arms around her belly, snoring softly on her neck and she thought that nothing was really different and she felt completely happy. Maybe Ted had been right alone, fate existed and Barney had been hers.

Her husband woke up slightly, sticking his strong body harder against hers. “Not asleep?” he asked, his voice still sleepy. 

“Not tired.” She whispered, turning around to meet his eyes, her fingers caressing the silver hair near his temples. 

“Must have lost my touch.” He smiled and she chuckled. “Oh I assure you that you didn’t.” His hair was a mess and the wrinkles around his eyes deeper than in daylight. She found him so very deliciously attractive at that moment and she kissed him.

She aligned her body with his, to feel every part of him. His fingers drew the shape of the shadow on her skin, created by the sun setting at the horizon. “You know, I think we should invest in a drafting table.” He whispered a smile on his swollen lips. 

She snorted. “Still don’t see how come they call that a table. It’s inclined! You can’t put anything on it.” The palm of his hand touched her lower back, at the curve of her hips and pressed her against him. 

“I can put you on it.” His teeth grazed her ear and she mold her body to his, slipping a leg between his.

“You, I used to think your libido would slow down eventually, but hey! Fifty and still kicking!” She teased him, feeling his hand reached between her legs. She felt his laugh in her body and when his tricky finger found the electric spot between her tights, she moaned, her head flying backward. 

“Look who’s talking...” She kissed his mouth to shut him up and he eagerly respond in kind.

Much later, she looked deep into his blue eyes; she saw his love and her heart felt full and big. She caressed his high cheekbones that were becoming more and more defined as he aged. He, would sigh in front of the mirror, looking at his wrinkle lines as they became more and more apparent and she would laugh at him, teasing him he was showing his old age. In reality, she simply found him sexy. He was aging attractively and with distinction, like an old scotch.

Barney could have chosen so many different women, he could have chosen freedom and yet, he chose her. She smiled at him and whispered: “We are married.” He chuckled and caressed her shoulder. “You think Ted was right, that we came here late?” she asked, vulnerable. 

He shook his head in negative. “I think we arrived just in time.” His kiss was sweet and kind. “And our married life will be awesome.”

Ted had been right years ago about one thing; she hadn’t reached the finish line just yet. Now she did. She had waited for it and it came in a very natural way and everything was going to be legendary.

She never wanted to get married. She wanted to spend her life as a hard working celebrity, sleeping with hot unknown men from foreign country. She thought that a marriage would bind her, pine her down. Yet, she found Barney; the only man in the whole world that had the same thoughts toward serious relationship then her. They moved toward each other’s like two planets stirred by gravity. No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t leave the gravity that pulled her toward him for the past 20 years of her life. 

She remembered the first night she met him and Ted at MacLaren’s, when all she wanted was a rough and tumble with the attractive guy in a suit at the bar. Because of her circumstance, she had been so sure to never talk to him, yet, he presented her to Ted.

“Thank God, you played “Have you met Ted?” that night…” His eyes had unspoken questions, but she ignored them. Robin guessed that she could still have one or two secrets after all. 

He made love to her again later that night and she could swear she saw glitter in the sea, in the wind, on the sheets and in his eyes. Blinded, she embraced them, embraced him. When he fell asleep, she rested against him peacefully and spent hours thinking of that very first night 17 years ago, when she had grabbed the knot of his tie and kissed him with all desperation she had, when his body slick of sweat had rubbed against her in the most wonderful way and when they exploded together for the very first time, glitter in her bed.

12321

“Man! I love the ocean!” he yelled, running towards her all wet from the sea, salt sticking to his tan skin.

They had decided to leave the bed to go enjoy the sun. She had lay herself on a beach chair, working on her tan, while sipping a Mojito and he had run like a crazy kid towards the sea and jumped in it.

Now in front of her, he passed a hand in his wet hair that was becoming blonder with the sun. The water splashed on her, refreshing her. She focused her eyes on his attractive chiseled chest, water running down on it. 50 year old and married, her husband still got it. His body’s sharp curves and edges were as attractive as before, his cheekbones still had that weird arousing effect on her and his crooked smile was still creating UFO in her belly. 

Unfortunately, she wasn’t the only one that notice how hot her husband was. She heard girly giggles and saw two blonds in tiny sparkly bikinis looking at Barney, eyes all hot and bothered. She felt her head inflamed and grabbed her husband by the arm and pulled him on top of her.

Oblivious, Barney simply got encouraged by her, kissing his way down her breast. Or so she thought. She heard his whispers that were tickling her skin. “Jealous of young and perky girls?” he teased. She hit his shoulder and he laughed. “Now you know what I feel when you walk around in a bikini or a hot dress.” She pouted, stroking his butt through his swim trunk.

“Not my fault if I’m pretty.” She said and he pinched her hips. 

“Too pretty for your own good, alright. Other men should learn to keep their eyes in their pockets.”

She kissed him languorously and held him strongly, rubbing her body against him. His hands magically caressed every part of her body and passed through her bikini top to pinch her nipples. Her nails dug in the skin of the nape of his neck. “Barney! We’re in a public place.”

He chuckled and slipped his tongue in her mouth, hot and skillfully. “It never stopped you before.” 

She sucked his tongue for a moment, forgetting where she was when his fingers went lower. “There’s kids.” She complained and he stopped a second to look around. 

There were indeed children around and two of them were staring at them, eyes bigger than jawbreakers. The brunette with high ponytails asked: “Are you fighting?” and that was enough for them to spring apart from each other. Barney sat with the kids, making sandcastles, explaining about little bees and flowers and when the sun started to go down, their parents call them back.

Barney came back to sit near her, pouting. “You lost your friends already?” she teased and he nodded. She hit his forearm. “Nice sandcastles.” She said and his smile was powerful enough for her own clothes to fall off by themselves. She tried to not let it get to her and said: “I’m hungry. Let’s get dress prettily and go a restaurant.”

He grabbed her hand and caressed it slowly. “Sure. Which one do you want to go?” he kissed her palm. “There’s this seafood restaurant near the beach, down the hotel, that seems great.”

She bathed in his tenderness for a moment before answering. “That’s perfect.”

They both showered and got dress to diner, but when he appeared out of the bathroom, wearing linen gray trousers and a white shirt, she wasn’t much hungry anymore. “Barney?” He hummed, showing he was listening. “Wanna push the restaurant for later and do it?”

He sighed deeply and his dress shirt was off in a second. “God yes...”

12321

She rubbed her body against his after a long night of well deserved sleep. She had woken up, finding him asleep and dishevels and he looked so delicious she could have eaten him right there. There was something of a mix of smooth and rough about his skin that turned her on and she rubbed herself actively on every part of his sharp body.

He mumbled, stirring awake. “Morning already?”

She chuckled, her lips tracing his left cheekbone, her hands caressing his chest. “It’s morning somewhere.” She answered him and he sniggered.

He caught her hips and aligned her sex with his, both on their side; she moaned and continued to rub herself on his skin. “You’re in a naughty mood.” He whispered in her hair.

“You’re hot.” She growled on his skin.

He lifted her leg and let it rest on his hips and slowly entered her wet spot with his hot morning erection. He moved slowly and languorously into her, mostly focusing on their make out session. She let go of his lips to whisper his name. He hummed in respond, his hips rotating.

“Barney, have you ever seen glitter in the air before?”

His eyes stared deep into hers, the movement of his hips slowed down again but not stopping. “Why?” he asked in a breath.

Her hands went to stroke his little silver hair near his ears, her mouth kissing his left cheekbone. “Just wondering.” She simply said.

He grabbed her waist powerfully and brought her on her back. He put her tights more apart, letting his erection leaving her sex almost completely. Then, he lifted her legs higher and penetrated her in one swift motion that made her closed her eyes in delight.

“There is some, right now.” He said, his eyes sparkling. She was going to ask for more, but he cut her off. “There is some right here.” He added, his mouth closing around one of her nipple, biting and sucking. “There is some there too.” He repeated leaving opened mouth kisses on her collarbone. “And when you moaned hard...” he explained, pounding harder into her until she couldn’t hear anything but her voice.

He made love to her in silence after that intermission and when they were resting side by side, catching their breath, she simply asked: “Since when?”

He cuddled her close, kissing her and stroking her. “Since the moment you kissed me.”

They didn’t sleep much for the rest of their honeymoon; they simply bathed in happiness, looking blissfully at all the glitter in the air.

12321

FIN


End file.
